


Coming Home

by CrochetingWords



Category: SKAM (Norway), SKAM (TV)
Genre: Alternate Universe - Neighbors, Fluff, Happy Ending, Happy Memories, Healing, Isak's mom dies, M/M, Moving On, Slow Burn, painful memories, slight angst
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2017-10-08
Updated: 2018-04-01
Packaged: 2019-01-10 13:54:32
Rating: Mature
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 38
Words: 62,074
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/12300504
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/CrochetingWords/pseuds/CrochetingWords
Summary: Isak's mom passes away, leaving him the house he grew up in. He pushes off going back there for three months after her funeral, using work and med school as excuses not to. Finally he returns in December and while standing outside, trying to gather the courage to walk inside for the first time since the funeral, he meets Even who is staying with his parents, the next door neighbours.





	1. Chapter 1

**Author's Note:**

> Hi All, thanks for checking this story out. This one will probably have some slight angst and some emotional moments when Isak remembers his time spent with his mother, but nothing too Angsty. 
> 
> I hope you enjoy <3

Isak stands there, anchored to the ground in front of the house that holds so many memories for him, but he can’t seem to bring himself to either move towards it or to turn around. He should have come back here sooner, but there was always something that came up between his studies and work. All flimsy excuses at best, he thinks. The reality was that he simply couldn’t bring himself to come back, not after this past fall. So he kept pushing it off until he ran out of excuses and finally decided that it was time to return to his childhood home, to finally deal with what he has been putting off for months, the loss of his mother. He continues to stare at the house, frozen in place, staring at all he has left of her now.

He’s not sure exactly how long he has been standing there in the bitter December cold, but it must have been a while, or at least long enough to catch the attention from one of the neighbours. He can see him approaching in his peripheral, it must be Daniel, judging from the direction he’s headed and his height. He had met the couple next door, now middle aged, a few of times during his visits, but it had been so fleeting that he doesn’t expect them to remember him much. Most of what he knows about them was through his mother who he knows was very close with them.

“Isak, right?” The deep voice asks, coming to a standstill next to him.

Isak can’t do anything but nod, not tearing his eyes from the house.

The voice goes silent for a moment, seemingly hesitating before continuing on, “I saw you at the funeral, but I didn’t think it was a good time to come talk to you...and then I couldn’t find you at the wake...but I’m really sorry about Marianne, she was a truly wonderful woman. Losing her broke a lot of people’s hearts,” the voice trails off, shaking the slightest bit.

Isak hadn’t attended the wake, or he had, but for barely five minutes before he had to run out of there. It was hard enough for him at the funeral, seeing all those people he had never met saying goodbye to his mother. He knew she was an easy woman to love, but it was overwhelming having strangers approach him offering their condolences, all the while acting like they knew him so well. Especially when he hadn’t fully processed the whole situation himself. It had been so sudden, she was perfectly fine and healthy when he had come by to see her just days before he got that terrible call in the middle of the night. _Please come as soon as possible._

In the end Jonas and Eva had offered to take over for him at the wake while he went off to walk the same paths his mother used to take him on when he was a child. His footsteps crunched through the freshly fallen leaves surrounding the nearby lake. He remembered the countless times he and his mother would run through piles of fallen leaves, picking them up and throwing them into the air, watching them rain down around them, all the while shrieking with laughter. He sat down on a bench watching a young couple and their daughter playing around on the grass, then watched a group of middle graders laughing, and teasing one another, pushing each other around playfully, then an elderly couple sat side by side on another bench leaning into the other.

He was sat there watching strangers, stealing glimpses into their lives and trying to feel what they felt if only for a moment, because right then he only felt numb. Isak stayed until the sun had set. By the time he made it back to the house, everyone but Jonas and Eva had already gone. The two of them were sat on the porch waiting for him.

“She was like another mother to me in many ways,” the voice pulls him out of his thoughts.

Mother? That doesn’t sound right, Isak thinks confused, finally looking away from the house and over at the man stood next to him.

Although his voice resembles that of Daniel Bech Næsheim from what he can remember of their few conversations and does resemble him in both height and looks, it’s immediately clear to Isak that this man cannot be him simply because of his age. Probably not much older than Isak himself, if at all.

Isak finds himself momentarily lost in his sad but beautiful blue gaze when their eyes meet, his breath catching slightly.

“Oh, I’m sorry I forgot to introduce myself,” the man says sheepishly, not looking away. “I’m Even. My parents were your mother’s neighbours.”

“Isak” he replies accepting Even’s held out hand.

“You knew my mother?” Their hands still joined when Isak asks, a little surprised to know his mother had been so close to someone his age. Enough to count as a mother figure of sorts on top of that.

Even smiles slightly, nodding like he may know something that Isak doesn’t know, “It’s kind of hard not to when we’re neighbours and everything.”

Isak furrows his brows, he’s sure he would have remembered someone as handsome as Even being around, their hands now slowly pulling apart, almost reluctantly. The question must be clear on his face, because Even continues on.

“Granted I went to school in Trondheim, so I wasn’t here around all that much during the school year. I was home mainly only for the holidays. But yeah, especially these last few years, she had given me insight and guidance when I thought I was all alone...she just really helped a lot” he trails off again.

That would explain it. During the holidays, Isak would try to spend as much time at Jonas’s as possible when things had gotten tough at home right as his mother’s episodes had started. Later when he was old enough to work, he would spend every free moment he had free from studying on working. And in the last couple of years his visits had become more and more infrequent.

“Oh,” Isak says simply “yeah, she was really special that way” and Even nods in agreement.

And if he thinks about it hard enough, he does remember Daniel and his wife Inger and possibly even his own mom talking about a son from time to time, but he had never paid much attention, always on the go, always busy, and trying to make sure he didn’t have a moment to think too much about the internal struggle that went on within him, especially when he started to develop feelings for his best friend. Feelings that at the time he wasn’t sure his mother would have approved of as she grew more and more enamored with the bible.

His upper grade years had been quite hard on him. It wasn’t until his third year, two years after he had moved out, that his mother was finally formally diagnosed with schizophrenia. Not long after, she started meeting regularly with a psychiatrist and was prescribed medication to help with her treatment. It hadn’t been a fix-all but it was a start, a very good one. One that had led to Isak and his mom rebuilding their entire relationship, reminiscing on old memories and planning for new ones.

They stand there silently for a few beats before Even speaks again.

“So are you going to be moving in?”

Isak looks at him confused.

“Into the house?”

“Oh, I don’t know yet.”

“Are you going to keep it?”

Isak sighs “I haven’t really given it much thought to be honest. I was hoping coming here would help me decide what I should do next.”

Even nods in understanding, “that’s fair.”

“By the way, I hope you don’t mind,” Even says, “mamma and pappa had a spare key, so after the wake we went and cleaned out the kitchen to get rid of anything perishable. I can bring the key back to you any time.” The thing Isak was supposed to have done, but couldn’t manage because the thought of going back into the house had been too much at the time. At least he wouldn’t have to deal with any worrisome smells coming from the fridge.

“Thanks,” Isak says sincerely “that was really nice of you.”

Maybe it should bother Isak that someone he doesn’t even know would enter his mom’s house without his presence there, but when Isak looked into his eyes, he saw the same pain he had seen in his own mirror reflection for the past months. But he knows his mother had a close relationship with the family and all he feels is gratitude.

“Anytime,” Even shrugs, “well it was nice finally meeting you.” He says smiling timidly.

“Yeah, you too”

“I’ll see you around then?” he asks.

Isak nods and watches as Even walks back towards the house next door before taking a deep breath and walking up towards the porch of his childhood home. He feels the onslaught of memories the moment he turns the key in the lock and opens up the front door.


	2. Chapter 2

“Mamma look! Look!” an eight year old Isak shouted proudly after the baking soda-vinegar mixture was a success.

“Oh honey! What did you do?” His mom asked shocked as she came into the room, trying to contain her laughter.

“It’s a volcano.” he said happily.

“I thought you were supposed to write about one, not create one.” she moved the open box of baking soda and half empty bottle of vinegar away, this time to the top shelf in the kitchen cabinets.

“But I saw it on a video.” Isak pouted wondering if he had done something wrong.

“Well it was a fantastic volcano from what I can see,” she says with a dishtowel already in hand “but how about we make a rule that all science experiments have to be done by us together? That way we can make sure it’s safe and we’ll have fun making them together, okay?”

“Okay” Isak nodded, agreeing with her logic.

“Good” she smiled at him brightly “now how about you help me tidy this up so that we can have a clean table for dinner when pappa comes home.” she handed him a second dishtowel and together they wiped down the kitchen table and the few spots on the floor. Once done, she pulled him into a hug and lay a big kiss onto the crown of his head “I love you.”

“Love you too mamma”

“Good, now go play. There’s still a bit of time before dinner. I’ll call you when it’s time to set the table.”

Despite the fact that the house had lain empty for the past three months, he still catches phantom scents of his mother as he walks through the front hall after taking off his coat and shoes. Although judging from how cold it is within the house, maybe he should have left both on. He makes his way to the living room and cranks the heat on the thermometer.

The room feels different, foreign almost. It still looks exactly the way his mother used to keep it, but after having seen it covered in flowers and people in mourning for however brief before he had to get out of there, he’s not sure that he’ll ever be able to see it in a different light again.

He runs a finger through the dust along the ledge above the fireplace as he glances over the pictures displayed there. Most of them of him and one at the very end of his mother, Daniel, Inger, and a young man who he now knows to be Even all sat at a dining table dressed in woolen sweaters with a Christmas tree in the background. Probably taken at their home since Isak doesn’t recognize the room. How had he never noticed the picture before? It isn’t a recent one by the looks of it.

How many times has he been in this house and overlooked it and all the little details that his mother had added that made this house a home? One that he always looked forward to returning to, that is until the day that it was clear his mother would no longer be there to greet him at the door and pull him into a tight hug, tell him she missed him and how much she loved him. How proud she was of him.

Isak clears his throat, blinking rapidly and tries to clear his mind. He’s still not ready to accept the reality of it all. He lets out a deep breath and leaves behind the living room, entering the dining room and through that the kitchen.

He can’t help but smile fondly, looking around the room that was in many ways the heart of their home. He would always be there watching his mother prepare meals while he worked on his homework at the kitchen table. Or he would read a book, still staying close to her. Sometimes she would ask what the book was about and he would re-tell everything that had happened in the story so far. Afterwards they would make up their own adventures and play both inside and outside until his father would come home and then join in as well.

Opening up and looking into the cabinets and the fridge as something to occupy himself with, Isak can see that true to Even’s word, everything except for a canister filled with coffee beans had been cleared out, and wiped down. He’s stood leaning against the counter, grateful he’s not having to deal with that mess now, but he’s at a loss of what to do. Isak doesn’t know what he’s supposed to do with this house. But he supposes he has until January to figure it out.

Sighing he pulls out his phone to check the time and it immediately starts to ring.

“Hey Jonas”

_“Hey man, did you arrive alright?”_

“Yeah I’m here now.”

_“And how are you holding up?”_

“It feels strange, like something’s not quite right, like I’m waiting for her to come back from getting groceries or from talking to the neighbours and to finally make it feel alright again.”

_“Damn...I’m sorry, if you need any help though you know I’m always here, right? We both are.”_

“Yeah I know and I’m grateful for it. Honestly, thank you. But you and Eva have taken care of enough for me and of me. Now it’s my turn to deal with the rest.”

_“Okay, but any time you need either of us, you just call and we will be there, alright?”_

“Of course...I know you will be… How’s Eva doing by the way?”

_“She won’t stop stressing about her new job.”_

“But she barely started, what’s there to stress about?”

_“She’s trying to make a good impression on literally everyone. I keep telling her she’ll run herself ragged before she even has a chance to take on her first project, but she keeps telling me that she knows what she’s doing so I have to trust that she does.”_

“Eva is strong, you know she can handle herself.”

_“I know, it doesn’t stop me from worrying about her though.”_

“No I guess it doesn’t”

_“Do you know how long you’re planning on staying out there yet? Are you going to come back for Christmas?”_

“I haven’t decided yet...I don’t even know what I’m supposed to do here or with the house. Maybe it is best to just sell it and to move on.”

_“Just...don’t rush into anything, okay? Take your time, please.”_

“I know, I won’t. And I don’t know if I’ll make it back for Christmas. I want to be back before new year’s if possible so I can have some time to wind down before the new semester. So depending how everything goes here and if I make up my mind on this place.”

_“Alright, but I’m serious, you better call if you need anything. I don’t care how small or insignificant you think it is, at least call.”_

“I know, thank you. Seriously, for everything.”

_“Hey any time.”_

They talk for a bit longer about how their finals went before Isak hangs up and he’s alone in the house once again.

Mentally exhausted and not feeling up to dealing with anything else tonight, he picks up his bag from the entrance hall and makes his way up the stairs to the room that used to be his bedroom and in many ways still is since his mother never changed anything within it after he had moved out, always dusting it and keeping it clean, almost as if keeping it ready for him.

When he had brought it up after starting university, asking why she wouldn’t convert it to a guest room or a hobby room for herself, she had told him it was so that he would always know that he had a home to come back to and that she would keep it that way. Because the knowledge that her son knew there was a home waiting for him always, gave her peace. He had pulled her into a long hug after that and told her he loved her.

The room is exactly as he remembers it, albeit slightly dusty, but it gives him some sort of peace knowing that unlike the rooms downstairs, the last person to have been in here touching and moving things was most likely his mother.

He lays down on top of the duvet still clad in his jeans and gray sweater, but he’s simply too tired to do anything about it now. He’s accomplished enough for the day, he made the trip out here, which had been the single hardest step so far. Tomorrow he will try to find some direction he thinks, and finally he starts to drift off in his childhood bed on top of his dark blue sheets until the darkness takes him completely under.


	3. Chapter 3

Early the next morning Isak wakes up sweaty, having forgotten to turn the heat back down, but all the while feeling refreshed with a surprising amount of energy. The first thing he does is reach for his phone to find a couple of missed messages while he was asleep and sets out to reply to his friends, to reassure them he’s doing alright. And he is, for the most part.

Eskild

We haven’t heard from you since you left,  
just want to make sure you’re doing alright.

We’re here if you need anything at all <3

Everything is going well  
Sorry I didn’t check in, it was an exhausting day

I’m glad to hear you’re okay now

Btw since when are you up this early

There’s plenty of times I’ve woken up this early

Anything you say, pinocchio.

It’s not like all of us have to listen to you sleep  
through your alarm clock or anything.

Ugh it’s too early to be dealing with this.

Okay, okay I’ll lay off. For now.

Are you holding up alright though?

I think so, I mean I haven’t broken down or anything

Hmm well you just take it one day at a time, alright?

And if it gets to be too much, just reach out to us.

There are so many people in your life that love you.

Just remember that.

I will, thank you Eskild.

Any time.

 

Smiling and feeling a little lighter after his exchange with Eskild, Isak makes his way past his mother’s closed bedroom door to the bathroom which is still stocked with the same soaps and shampoo his mother had always kept on hand for when he would stop by for a visit.

He starts up the shower, letting the water run knowing that it takes the water a bit to warm up, and walks back into his room to grab a change of clothing from his bag before returning to the bathroom. Once the water is up to a comfortable temperature, he strips down and steps under the stream audibly sighing in relief when the water hits his body, washing away both sweat and tension.

Taking the soap into his hands, he lathers up the fresh washcloth, running it over his face and body, enjoying the clean, pleasant smell that he had started to associate with his visits back home. He continues to stand there in the shower for a while, taking comfort in the familiar smells and feel of the slightly weaker than optimal water pressure before he finally turns the water off. Isak reaches for one of the clean towels he had taken out of the linen closet and dries himself off before stepping on the mat next to the tub and throwing on some sweatpants, socks, and a t shirt.

Downstairs he first turns the heat down to a comfortable room temperature, then makes his way into the still dark kitchen. Although the sun is usually slow to rise in the winter, the darkness outside is mainly due to the fact that it’s only 05.00, an unholy time to be awake as far as Isak is concerned, but he didn’t want the boost of energy he felt when he first woke up to go to waste especially considering how draining yesterday was.

Isak takes out the coffee bean grinder and the cannister of beans out of the cupboards and sets out to make himself a cup of coffee since it’s the only thing left in the house. He rinses out the coffee maker and pours enough water for one cup into the top of the machine to brew while he takes a look around the room again. He can see the footprints his socks have left on the dusty dark hardwood in the hallway. It could definitely use a washing. While he’s at it, so could most of the house after three months of neglect.

After finishing his cup he decides that is exactly what he will occupy himself with this morning since all the stores are still closed and he won’t be able to buy any groceries for hours still. Grabbing a few cleaning supplies after putting his mug into the sink, he makes his way upstairs and begins with the bathroom. And once he establishes a rhythm, he gets lost in it entirely.

His mother used to do all the cleaning with music blasting in the background, sometimes even singing along, a habit that he had inherited, well when he bothered to clean. He would usually stick to tidying the place up, making it look surface clean. A deep clean was more his roommate Noora’s strength anyways.

But now he works in silence and makes sure to clean everything thoroughly, getting into every corner in the hopes that seeing this place as clean as his mother would keep it would bring some piece of her back. That it would somehow bring back that glimmer of light the house had lost since that day.

He’s already finished with the upstairs and has the downstairs floors all mopped when he takes a moment to look out the window, seeing the pale winter light shining through, signalling that a couple of hours must have already passed.

Isak is just about to start on wiping down the dust in the living room using a moist cloth as his last act before going to the grocery store, he really should have thought of doing that before mopping he thinks, when he hears a knock at the front door. He pauses a moment before walking to the front of the house, there isn’t anyone he has been expecting or anyone that even really knows he is here.

Isak opens up the door to find Even standing there.

“Hi” Isak greets, surprised to see him again, especially holding a plate in his hands that’s cling wrapped. The contents hidden because of the condensation, but it already smells heavenly to Isak.

“Hey, mamma sends her greetings and breakfast. I didn’t see you with any groceries yesterday and since we pretty much cleaned everything out, we figured you could use some food first thing.” Even explains, right corner of his mouth curved upwards.

“Woah, you didn’t have to” Isak says, but only because it’s the polite thing to do. He can feel the emptiness in his stomach, not having eaten since lunch the previous day and even that was just an on the road snack.

“Believe me I did, mamma would never forgive me if she found out you had to go hungry and I knew about it.”

“Well in that case, thank you” Isak chuckles accepting the plate “oh wow it’s still warm.”

“Mhm, directly from the pan to your door.”

“You should use that as your slogan if you ever decide to start a delivery service.”

“I’ll keep that in mind, am I going to get a five star review from you though? Because if I don’t, I doubt this business idea will ever stand a chance of taking off.” Even rubs his chin as if in thought.

“Well I would have to see if the delivery was worth it” Isak says nodding to the plate “but so far the customer service is definitely top notch.”

He’s rewarded with the sound of Even’s laughter “well that is fair, in that case I should leave you to it so you can eat in peace, wouldn’t want my rating to suffer.”

Isak pauses, looking down at the still warm plate filled with enough food for easily three people. Somehow the idea of eating alone in the house with nothing to distract him doesn’t sound nearly as appealing as talking to Even.

“Do you want to join me? I can make a fresh pot of coffee. Plus that way you won’t have to wait until the next time we run into each other to hear my thoughts,” he offers looking back up at Even. Hoping he hasn’t overstepped. Hoping that Even doesn’t have anywhere else to be right now.

“Sure, anything for that perfect rating” and Even’s grin grows into a full blown smile as Isak steps back to let him in and leads the way into the kitchen.


	4. Chapter 4

“You can have a seat,” Isak says inclining his head over to the kitchen table and chairs when they enter the room.

“Thanks,” Even says and does as he’s told, pulling the chair out so it is at an angle between facing the table and facing Isak.

Isak puts the plate down on the counter, then takes the used coffee filter and throws it away before grabbing a new filter and loading it up with more of the freshly ground beans. 

“Have you been cleaning?” Even asks looking around.

“Uh yeah, woke up a little early today and figured it would be something to do.” Isak shrugs, adding some water and pressing the start button.

He turns to face Even who’s looking at him, eyebrow raised “it’s only 09.20, must have been a very early morning.” 

“Yeah I suppose” Isak looks around “I think I did a pretty good job though” he jokes avoiding any serious conversation.

“Oh I wasn’t doubting that, it looks spotless. You should start a business.”

“Yeah? Alongside with yours? You’ll have your delivery service and I’ll have my cleaning one?” 

“Well of course, have to put food on the table somehow.” Even laughs when right that moment Isak places the plate of of food on the table, removing the cling wrap “well in some cases literally.”

Isak can’t help but join in a little at the timing. If feels nice to joke around with someone so easily, so naturally. He doesn’t remember having this naturally relaxed of an atmosphere with anyone but his friends. It usually takes him a bit to warm up to strangers first, to find his footing. But Even seems to be the exception to the rule.

They share a smile before Isak turns to grab two more plates and two forks and knives, bringing them over.

“Oh crap, I hope you like your coffee black,” Isak says when the coffee maker starts to make it’s noisy spurts signalling that it is about to be done “because that’s all I can offer right now.” Isak says looking inside the empty fridge that he opened out of habit.

“That is exactly how I usually take it, so that’s perfect.” Even smiles.

Isak raises an eyebrow at him before looking back down to pour two cups “you’re not just saying that to be polite?” 

“I swear, I’m a really easy coffee order to fulfil.” 

“Alright, I will take you at your word.”

Isak places the two cups on the table as Even divides the plate amongst the two of them.

“So I’m supposed to ask you if you’re free to stop by for dinner tomorrow.” Even says placing the plate back down in the middle of the table.

“Oh? I don’t have any plans or anything.” Isak takes a seat, surprised at the offer.

“Good, then mamma will be glad to be able to see you and worry about you in person. You should have heard how many questions she asked when I came back inside. Everything from did you look like you were getting enough sleep to when did I think was the last time you ate a full meal.”

Isak smiles at the motherly concern, even if he’s only met Inger a couple of times, finding some sort of comfort in knowing that there is someone out there willing to make such a fuss about him that is not one of his friends.

“So how were your finals?” Even asks suddenly between bites, catching Isak off guard. He’s pretty sure he would remember if the topic of school had come up with Even.

His confusion must show of his face because Even elaborates “sorry, I guess that was a little forward, it’s just that your mom would talk about you a lot and about how great you were doing in med school, that it seemed like a safe topic to go for.”

“She talked about my schooling?” Isak feels a tug at his heart at the thought.

Even raises both eyebrows “not just schooling in general, I’m talking each class. Like for example that biochem was your favorite class last year and that you hated your anatomy professor because you were sure he had it in for you.” he says before taking a mouthful of food in.

Isak laughs incredulously “that is a lot of detail, I can’t imagine it must have been a lot of fun sitting there and having to listen to her telling stories about her son.”

“Actually I found them motivating, hearing how much hard work and effort you put into absolutely everything you did. How you would let nothing stop you. It helped keep me on track at times. Admirable, really.” Even admits.

Isak looks back with wide eyes, the praise catching him off guard.

“Oh, thank you.” he says feeling awkward under the attention.

Even shrugs “it’s the truth.”

“So I guess since you’ve heard so much about me, that leaves me at a disadvantage.” Isak says suddenly feeling very curious.

Even grins moving closer to Isak, facing him “sure, what do you want to know?”

“Well, what do you do?”

“I’m a film director, I’ve mainly worked on short films so far.”

“And do you enjoy it?”

“I’ve been wanting to do it since I was 7” 

“So literally your life’s passion.” Isak says impressed.

“Mhm” and Isak easily believes him from how his eyes shine.

“Best subject in school?”

“Film studies”

“Hmm should have known that was going to be the answer.”

“Yup” Even chuckles.

“Hmm I feel like I’m interrogating you here, throwing all these questions at you.” 

“No no, I don’t mind at all, what’s your next question?” Even smiles openly.

“Alright then, do you normally live next door?”

“No, I’m just here visiting my parents until mid January when I start on my next film.”

“I see. Do you travel a lot for work?”

“A little bit, for the most part when I do have to travel, it’s between Trondheim and Oslo, but I did have to go as far as Tromsø for my last project, but at least it was in the summer. Still, it didn’t do wonders for my sleep schedule.”

“I imagine it wouldn’t.” Isak agrees.

“Favorite color?” Isak throws out when he can’t think of another question on the spot.

Even grins to himself, taking a sip of coffee, before answering “green.”

“Hmm that was too straight forward… how about your favorite film growing up?” he jumps into his next question.

“Desideria and the Dragon Ring”

“Can’t say I’ve ever heard of it.”

“It’s this Italian fantasy mini series directed by Lamberto Bava that was dubbed over in English.”

“Wait, you were watching English dubbed movies as a child?” Isak interrupts him.

“Yeah, mamma always said it was important for me to be exposed to English at an early age so that I wouldn’t struggle having to learn it later.”

“Jeez, and here I am, barely able to to string together two sentences.” 

“Oh I don’t know,” he can see Even fighting hard to contain a smile and possibly even laughter “I think your strength lies more in rapping in English.”

It takes a moment for the full meaning of the statement to hit Isak.

“No?!” Isak exclaims, eyes wide and eyebrows almost reaching his hairline, “she didn’t?!”

“Oh she did” Even nods enthusiastically no longer containing his laughter now.

Isak groans loudly, putting his too warm face in his hands “that’s what happens when you share your social media with family.”

“Come on, it was cute” Even tries to get out through his laughter “first year Isak must have been very proud of his skills.”

“Who says I’m not now” Isak says mock indignantly, trying to regain whatever shreds of pride that he could.

“Oh? So your rapping skills only improved over time, then?” he teases.

Isak sniffs, mock offended “some people just can’t appreciate art when they see it.” they don’t last long before they both can’t contain their laughter again.

They continue on with their teasing and their questions, losing all track of time, spending it getting to know each other. Or well at least Isak trying to get to know Even better since he seems to already have a head start. It feels so natural, just the two of them sat in the kitchen, laughing together like they’ve known each other their whole lives, bonding over the stories of Isak that his mother had shared. 

“Alright, well thank you for breakfast,” Even says well over an hour later when they’re standing at the door as Even puts his shoes and coat back on.

“No, thank you and thank your mom for me, will you? It was really nice of the both of you to do this,” Isak says gratefully “and thank you for the company as well.”

“Hey, if you ever need someone to talk your ear off, you know where to find me.” Even grins and Isak grins back because it is just so easy to do so around him and because he can see himself reaching out to Even for the company.

“Okay then I’ll see you tomorrow, around 17.00?”

“Sounds good.” Isak says letting Even by, watching him walk out the front yard.

“Hey Even?” Isak suddenly calls.

“Yeah?” he stops and turns around.

“Definitely a 5 out of 5.” Even let’s out a delighted laugh, eyes barely visible, as he turns back around and heads home, turning back towards Isak once more, smiling, before disappearing into his home.

Freshly fed and feeling surprisingly energized once more after this morning’s distraction in the form of Even, Isak sets out to clean the rest of the main floor. This time with music playing in the background.


	5. Chapter 5

“But I don’t want to go, I want to stay here with you” Isak whined.

“Come on honey, it’s your first day of school, it’ll be exciting and you’ll make a lot of new friends.” his mother tried to reassure him.

Isak stood there silent for a moment, looking down at his hands “but what if the other kids won’t like me?” he whispered.

“Oh sweetheart, it’s impossible not to like you.” She said tucking his hair behind his ears “tell you what, when you come home you’ll have some freshly baked cookies waiting for you and tonight we can watch a movie with pappa, okay? But I just need you to try today. Please? Just try to have fun, alright?”

“Okay” Isak mumbled.

“Great, I’ll just be right out here when school lets out, waiting for you.”

“Promise?”

“I promise.”

When he unlocks the front door after going out for a few groceries, Isak is disappointed to find that he’s met with the same emptiness of yesterday. The house may be cleaner and a little bit warmer now, but the void filling the house is still there, screaming back at him. His eyes travel down the hall towards the stairs leading upstairs and his stare turns hard. He glares at the house because he tried and it still won’t cooperate. Glares because he can feel this morning’s warmth seeping out of him, leaving him. And all he wants is for her to walk down the stairs just once, to transform the house back into the home it always was. He can start to feel the anger building up inside of him before he forces himself to take a deep breath and to push it back down again. 

Anger fading, Isak realizes the temperature within the house has again dropped to almost freezing and he turns to find the front door still wide open, letting the cold wind in. Finally he lets out a defeated sigh, feeling the cold take a hold within and closes the door. He knows it’s ridiculous getting upset with the house itself. As if it’s the building’s fault that he can’t seem to get it together. As if it could fix anything.

So instead of fighting a losing battle against the inanimate structure, he makes his way into the kitchen, groceries still in hand and starts to put them away, already trying to find the next project to take on. He doesn’t think he is able to comfortably sit still on his own, just him and his unfiltered thoughts. And quite frankly he’s not willing to put himself through that kind of mental torture. 

Not seeing anything else to do inside at the moment and not having anything to do outside because the snow from earlier in the week had already been cleaned when he got to the house, probably the Bech Næsheim’s judging from how much they had done already, he decides to bundle up again to go for a walk. 

Eventually Isak ends up at the same lake, on the same bench, in the same spot he sat on the day of his mother’s funeral. The same and in so many ways completely different. What had been filled with other people is now completely empty, with the exception of the odd person briskly walking their dog, trying to get back to their warm homes. 

The ground which had been covered completely in the reds, oranges, and yellows of fall, is now completely white. Like a blank canvas, he thinks, wiping the past year clean. But that isn’t going to work for him, there is no covering his pain, his loss, He digs his heel into the snow until he can see the dirt beneath it. There are some things that are simply impossible to cover up.

It’s late by the time he returns to the house and Isak can’t help but stop on the sidewalk to compare the dark empty house to its neighbouring ones which are covered in Christmas lights, warmth and light radiating from their lively looking windows. Glancing back at the dark windows of what is now his house, he considers not for the first time if he shouldn’t just get it over with and sell it already. But no matter how many times that thought crosses his mind there’s another part of him, a bigger part, that wills him to hold on for just a little longer, but for what, he’s not quite sure yet. 

When the cold gets to be too much, Isak continues to move towards the front door. He steps through the doorway and is once again met with the same silent void from earlier. Isak closes the door, trying to ignore it, but he just can’t get past how it’s making him feel like a stranger in the house to the point where he can’t tell whether it’s him or the house that no longer belongs.

Isak silently takes off his outdoor clothes and heads to the kitchen putting the kettle on to make some tea. He should probably make something for dinner, not having had anything since breakfast, but the desire to eat just isn’t there. And in some ways he wants to hold on to the pleasant memory of this morning’s meal. 

Instead he scrolls through his instagram feed, looking at his friends getting ready for Christmas, sharing pictures of hot beverages, of them putting up decorations, and just enjoying the season all together. For a moment it makes him feel alone, before he forces himself to remember that all of his friends have shown nothing but love and been there for him every single day for the past three months and more importantly for the past few years. Smiling to himself, he hits the like button on a few pictures and leaves a couple of comments for his friends. He’s not alone, he’s known that for years. 

With that knowledge fresh in his mind, he picks up his hot cup of tea and goes into the living room and video calls Jonas.

“Hey Isak” both Eva and Jonas call out in answer, faces too close to the camera.

“Hey you two, how’s decorating going?” He asks settling himself on the couch, phone propped up so that he can hold his cup in both hands.

“Jonas became boring since you’ve gone, he won’t let me use the ornaments we made back at Nissen this year” Eva complains.

“This is the first year we’ve both had grown up jobs, don’t you think we should decorate our trees like grown ups? You know, without a giant penis decorating the top of the tree? Plus I don’t want your mom to dislike me any more than she already does when she comes over for Christmas.” Jonas defends.

“We’re grown up, not dead inside and she likes you just fine. We can decorate our tree however we like.” Eva says exasperated 

“She has a point,” Isak chuckles, missing them both dearly.

“See? Isak has my back. When are you coming back, Isak? It’s no fun without you here.” 

“Well-” he starts but is interrupted by Eva again.

“You’ll be here for Christmas next week, right?”

“Actually I’m not so sure anymore. I have all of two weeks to try to get...whatever done and I haven’t even figured out what that is. Whether it’s packing up the place or what. I think I’ll stay here this time around.” He hadn’t actually given it much thought, but now that the words are out, he finds himself having to agree it might be the best option. 

It’s not that he’s looking forward to spending Christmas on his own, in fact he’s dreading it. But he doesn’t want to drive back to Oslo just to have to come out here again for just a couple more days. This way he can get everything done hopefully with time to spare so he can spend new year’s eve surrounded by his loved ones.

“Are you sure that’s a good idea?” Jonas asks worried.

“I think so, yes. It’s what I need to do and I should be fine.”

Both Eva and Jonas don’t look too convinced at that, but apparently decide to keep any other comments to themselves on the topic.

“So tell me about your new job” Isak changes the topic knowing that Eva won’t be able to resist.

After ending the call he’s left feeling wanting more. More company, more laughter, to reminisce on old memories. He eyes the cabinet he knows is filled with lifetimes of memories, the ones he is looking for, and while he is tempted to peek through the numerous photo albums, he’s also not ready to break down yet. Instead he finishes his tea, scrolling through his phone, and turns all the lights back off, letting the darkness loom behind him as he makes his way up the stairs and to bed.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I'm sorry for a sadder chapter especially after the breakfast one. However we have the dinner with Even and his parents to look forward to <3
> 
> I know I've been updating once a day so far, but I will be pretty busy today and tomorrow with very little time for writing so by the time I will post my next update it will probably already be Saturday. But if that is the case I will aim for a morning and evening post that day to make up for it.
> 
> Thank you again to everyone taking time out of their day to read this story!! <3


	6. Chapter 6

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Looks like I found some time after all, but it's the middle of the night so I hope it's a coherent chapter :)

Isak knocks on the front door, feeling nervous. Should he maybe have brought something other than wine and the plate from the previous morning? Some kind of dish? Dessert? But before he can begin to work himself into a frenzy, the door opens and he is greeted by Even with a wide smile, being welcomed inside.

“Got any more cleaning done today?” Even asks conversationally, reaching for Isak’s coat to hang it up for him.

“Uh thanks” Isak hands it over after placing the wine and plate on a nearby shelf “um no, there wasn’t really anything much to do for today” he confesses. 

In fact he had been struggling to fill his day so far and ended up spending most of it at a coffee shop not too far away, shuffling his classes around for the next semester and creating lists of things he needed to get ready for school. He stayed out until there was only time for him to freshen up for dinner and even then he pushed it to the last minute, not wanting to sit around the house with nothing to do.

Somehow Even seems to understand as much from his words and offers Isak a sympathetic smile before Isak’s attention is captured by a middle aged woman stepping into the hallway.

“My dear, there you are” Inger says clapping her hands together before bringing them over her heart “come here” she meets him halfway, pulling him into a tight hug.

It’s the type of hug that only a parent can give. No matter how many hugs he’s gotten from his closest friends and no matter how tight, nothing compares to this, so he allows himself take comfort in it and to enjoy it.

When they pull apart, she holds his face between her hands “you did always look more like Marianne,” she looks at him with a sad smile before the smile turns mischievous “but my my have you grown. Grew up really handsome too” she casts a glance behind him, presumably at the wine and plate.

“Here, I’ve brought your plate back too. It was incredibly delicious, thank you.” Isak remembers and picks up the bottle of wine and plate from the hallway shelf holding both out to Inger, a little flustered from the attention. 

“Oh thank you dear,” she accepts the plate, walking them into the kitchen before placing it down on the counter. 

“I’m just glad it made it to you in one piece. You should have seen the speed at which Even took off when I handed the plate to him. I thought he was going to trip over his own two feet.” she mumbles the last part already having turned back to chopping up the cucumbers for the salad by the looks of it. 

Isak glances towards Even who seems to be overly invested in one of the pictures hanging in the hallway, phone held to his ear, but judging from the rosy tint on his cheeks, he’s heard every last bit.

The front door opens again and a gust of cold wind flies down the hall behind Daniel, a man of Even’s stature and height, so similar it would be impossible to miss that they are father and son.

“I bought the potatoes as you asked and these had better be the right kind because if they’re not, I’m sending Even out into the cold” his deep voice rings through the house cheerfully.

“I’m sure they’re fine, love. As long as they’re not the orange ones” she calls back.

“White, orange, purple, red,” he grumbles walking into the kitchen, “whatever happened to just one kind of potato.” 

Daniel enters and places the cloth bag on the counter next to Inger with a kiss on the cheek. 

“Guess who’s here” she smiles nodding over in Isak’s direction.

“Marianne’s boy! How are you Isak. I’d give you a hug but I don’t think you’d appreciate it given as I’m half frozen over” he side eyes his wife at that last statement.

“That’s quite alright” Isak smiles, appreciating the consideration, having just started to warm up from his brisk walk across the lawn.

“Even, have you never seen your grandma’s picture before? Come in here, we said no working during the holidays.” Daniel calls and Isak can hear Even finishing up his conversation, bidding whoever is on the other end a good night.

“Sorry, that was Mikael” he offers in explanation and his father’s face brightens at the mention.

“Ah, and how is he doing?”

“Fine” Even shrugs “just stressing out about some of our location shoots next month.”

“The two of you work too much, the holidays are for family and friends, not for working.” Inger glances over her shoulder.

The homely exchange makes Isak smile, seeing how lively the three of them connect, it’s impossible to miss the love that surrounds their family. But oddly it doesn’t make Isak feel envious, it makes him feel included.

“Well that’s enough of that” Daniel turns to Isak “can I get you a beer or some gløgg? There’s some on the stove right now.”

“Sure I could go for some gløgg” Isak says.

“Good choice, pass me a couple of mugs, will you Even?”

Hot drinks in hand, they are sat around the kitchen table with both Daniel and Inger throwing out questions about his life and his friends.

“Oh I remember Jonas,” Inger pauses from stirring the sauce, the smell of garlic and butter mixing with the scent of cloves and cinnamon. “You probably won’t remember, but I would pick you up from school a couple of times in your very first year when your parents were busy at work. And the two of you were just inseparable, it would take both me and his mom forever to get the two of you to say goodbye to the other.”

Isak smiles “no I guess I don’t remember that.”

“Mhm, just as inseparable as you and Even here once were.” Daniel nods.

Isak looks confused to Even “I’m pretty sure we just met the other day.” he says slowly, trying to remember another time but coming up blank.

Even looks back sheepishly “yeah there may have been one other time when we were kids.”

“Ah well you were only four years old then” Inger dismisses “and Even here was just six, but from the moment you two met, where one went, so did the other.” Inger sighs “but then Daniel got a job in Trondheim at the end of that summer and I couldn’t leave mine here. So Even ended up going up there with him for a few years. Then when Daniel moved back home, Even didn’t want to leave his friends behind so we let him continue going to school there.”

Isak nods thoughtfully still trying to rack his brain for that lost memory. He’s still trying to see if he can recollect anything, but he’s coming up empty. Looking over at Even he wonders how he could possibly forget meeting someone like Even? Even as a child Isak imagines Even would have exuded the type of openness and friendliness that has already drawn Isak in in just a matter of a couple of days.

“I think we even have a couple of pictures of us together in my photo album, we can have a look after dinner.” Even says as Inger comes to join them at the table, sitting between Isak and Even who are sat across from one another.

Inger continues to share all kinds of stories about both Isak and Marianne and Isak finds himself completely engrossed in her stories. He wonders if this is what it was like for anyone listening to his mother. 

“Then later I stayed over a couple of nights while your dad took your mother to the hospital,” those times Isak does remember “and after that you grew busy and I guess life just happened so we rarely got to see you anymore” Inger continues on.

“But I like to think you made up for all that when you first started at Uni and came to visit dear Marianne and us too” she winks at him “ that was when Even was studying in the States to become a film director. But that dear woman never let us miss out on anything in your life so it always felt like you were a part of the family.”

“She never let anyone miss out on what was going on in your life” Daniel chuckles, taking a large sip of his drink “I don’t know anyone of her friends that wouldn’t think of you as their own. She was so proud of you, we all were- are.” he rests a had on Isak’s left shoulder for a moment, giving it a quick comforting squeeze.

It’s a lot of information for Isak to take in for one night and he can’t help but feel slightly overwhelmed. He knew his mother liked to share stories of him with her friends and it makes sense that Inger would know so much given how close she had been with her. But it’s still a lot to realize that all this time there were three other people taking an interest in his life, wanting to know how he was doing, taking him into their home now. 

He finds the feeling both comforting and to some extent scary, comforting because there’s another place he can find himself belonging and scary because he’d be once again opening himself up to the risk of losing more people he cares about.

Isak looks up, catching Even’s eye who sensing his inner turmoil, jumps in “I think that’s enough reminiscing for one night, I think we have time for a couple of rounds of cards before dinner is ready?

“I would say so” Inger agrees and Even hops up to grab a deck from next to the landline.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Even didn't have a lot of lines here, but I just really needed to have Inger gushing over Isak. Either way, the dinner isn't over yet!!
> 
> Thanks again so much for reading <3


	7. Chapter 7

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Once again thank you to everyone reading and all the wonderful comments and kudos <3 you all have been so incredibly kind.

“And we were supposed to be scouting out potential filming locations, nothing official or anything, just driving and walking around Hjørundfjorden, when out of nowhere this tiny goat comes running at us and just charges at Mikael.” 

Even manages to get the words out through his laughter, with Isak and Even’s parents in no better shape, after they’ve been sharing stories through the meal. Laughter rings all throughout the house, aided only slightly by several cup fulls of gløgg.

“And then- and then each time this goat just keeps running right past him just to turn around and try to charge at him again. He was both scared of it and to hurt it. It must have been so traumatizing.” 

“For the goat or Mikael?” Daniel chimes in sending Even into another laughing fit, looking completely carefree and happy. 

“Both I think!” Even wipes at a stray tear starting to sober up.

“You think that’s traumatizing?” Isak leans back in his chair ready to dive into his own story, this one he knows for sure his mother hadn’t already shared. Although it did feel nice every time one of them recognized a story before he could even get halfway through it. The feeling of people caring and listening comforts him, even when he’s away from his friends and support system at the moment.

But now he is chasing after the joyous reaction Even had sharing his story. There’s a growing part of him that wants to be the reason for that smile.

“My first year of med school we decided to play a prank on Jonas, so we left a model skeleton in his bedroom on a night we all went out. We made sure the room was going to be completely dark when he came back. Except what we weren’t expecting was for him to bring someone home.” Isak explains, the three of them completely focused on him now and the dirty dishes on the table long forgotten. 

“So when they made it to his bedroom they were… a little preoccupied, so not only did we spook Jonas, we also probably ended up traumatizing that poor girl. I’m pretty sure he never heard from her again.”

“Oh that’s evil, poor Jonas” Even laughs incredulously.

“Nuh uh, you don’t get to feel bad for him, not after the way he got me back, I haven’t even gotten to the really traumatizing part yet.”

“Go on” Even smiles.

“Obviously he knew I was the one who supplied the skeleton, so a few months later after all of us had completely forgotten about it and we profusely apologized for it, I mean we supplied him with beer for a month after that. But what he did is he sneaks into my room in the middle of the night with that same skeleton and places it on the other side of my bed. Tucking it in under the blanket and everything. Now imagine rolling over in the morning to put your arm around a skeleton and being this close,” he says holding a hand in front of his face “this close to a skull. I don’t even want to know what sound I made, but I was up and shot across the room so fast” Isak claps one hand against the other for emphasis. “The guys wouldn’t let me live it down for weeks.”

“How heavy of a sleeper are you?” Even asks with an astonished laugh.

“In my defense this was right after my last final of the year, after running on three hours of sleep a night and pure caffeine. Which in my opinion makes it that much worse, because I was vulnerable.” 

Isak smiles over at Even to find him still watching with a bright smile on his face and Isak feels a little warm all over after staring at it. Maybe he’s overdone it on the gløgg just a little and maybe he feels something at the thought of being the reason the smile is there in the first place.

“Well I’m glad to hear the two of you are still so close.” Inger looks at him fondly, eyes lingering between him and Even with an expression Isak can’t decipher.

“Yeah, Jonas and I are still close like brothers” Isak nods.

It’s more stories and more laughter for a while, having fully lost track of time by now, before Inger stands up gathering some of the plates together.

“I can help” Isak offers standing up.

“Oh no,” Inger waves him off “You’re our guest, Daniel and I have it handled. You stay seated. Actually why don’t you boys head to the living room, relax a little. Why don’t you show him the pictures of the two of you together, Even?”

“Sure,” Even grabs the remainder of his and Isak’s mugs and leads them into the livingroom. Much like in his childhood home, it is filled with pictures and memories along the walls. 

“Don’t mind those” Even scrunches his nose a little when Isak’s eyes drift to Even’s graduation pictures, which are larger than all of the photos surrounding it.

“It’s sweet” Isak grins.

“No, sweet would have been one normal sized photo hanging on the wall, this is three ways to embarrass your son in front of anyone who walks through that door. Okay I know they’re here somewhere” Even continues to rummage through one of the cabinets while Isak resumes his inspection of the walls.

Judging from the amount of times his mother appears in these, it’s clear that she was closer with the family than he had thought.

“Oh that’s a good one,” Even says when Isak is still staring at the same picture of his mother piled on a couch with the three of them. “It was when I finished my first short film after university. Your mom and mine ended up making a whole movie night out of it, said it was my first exclusive screening, although it had already been made available online at that point. They made it feel really special.”

Isak isn’t surprised to hear of it, though maybe there’s a small part of him that’s sad he was never a part of these moments. 

“Ah there we go.” Even pulls out three loose photos out of an envelope filled with more, showing them to Isak. Sure enough, he sees a toddler version of himself being dwarfed by a lanky blonde six year old the two of them standing side by side with wide grins on their faces. The next one is of them sitting in a sandbox with expressions just as happy as the first, and the third is the two of them cuddled up together watching something on the TV. 

“I can’t believe I don’t remember any of this.” Isak furrows his brows, inspecting the joyous expressions closely.

“You were quite young,” Even lifts a shoulder “I’d barely even remember any of it myself if it wasn’t for the pictures, really.” 

“I suppose.” he concedes and while it would have been nice to have kept those memories, Isak had made some special ones with his own friends over the years and he doesn’t want to dwell on how his life may have been different, it’s not worth it and he’s learned long ago that dwelling on the past is not worth it.

“Did you find them?” Inger asks walking into the living room carrying two cups of coffee with Daniel carrying two more behind her “just look at you two, such little angels.”

The night continues on with each of them sharing stories of Marianne, filling Isak in on the stories behind various photos and the more he hears, the more he realizes how little attention he has paid to the details. He had missed the depth of his mother’s friendship with Inger completely and somehow also managed to overlook Even’s existence.

When Isak checks his phone for the first time that night he finds a couple of missed texts and that it’s already 22.35 “wow, I should probably get going” he says a little surprised at how fast the night has gone. He thanks Inger and Daniel for having him over and is met by a hug from each of them.

“Now don’t be a stranger,” Daniel steps back from the hug “that door is always open to you young man.”

“I’ll come with you” Even gets out of his seat and follows Isak into the hallway.

“Oh,” Isak let’s out “I can make it across the lawn on my own I think.” He has to pause for a moment to confirm that that is actually the case.

“I’m not walking you all the way to your door, just out ours” Even says amused.

“Right” Isak looks down slightly embarrassed, putting his feet back into his shoes. Of course he wasn’t going to be walking him all the way home, although it’s just across the lawn.

“Thank you for coming over tonight, you made my parents so happy, I had a pretty good time too” Even says when Isak has his layers and shoes back on.

Isak nods “of course, this was a really nice night. Thank you for inviting me into your family for the night and thank you for sharing all of those stories about my mom.”

“Well you’re practically part of the family, Isak. I mean I’ve grown up always hearing stories of you and how you were doing. You’ve always kinda been there.” Even shrugs leaving words unsaid. Though which words specifically, Isak doesn’t know.

“Hey, I guess I kind of owe you now” Isak suddenly realizes he doesn’t want this to be it. After the warm evening he’s spent in the company of people that loved his mother and have cared so much about him, he can’t just go back to the empty house and never have that again.

“How so?” Even asks.

“Well you’ve now brought me breakfast and fed me dinner, well technically your mom did but still,” Isak shrugs, feeling nervous “I can’t not return the gesture. It would be rude, you know?”

The right corner of Even’s mouth lifts, “I think that’s only fair.”

“Good,” Isak grins back “how about the day after tomorrow come over in the morning around 09.00?” 

“Sounds perfect.”

Isak enters the house and walks up the familiar stairs, not bothering to turn on the lights on his way to his bedroom, because he knows the emptiness is still there, he doesn’t need the light on to know. But he feels better equipped to deal with it even if it is just for tonight that he feels a little bit stronger.


	8. Chapter 8

“You mean as in Even Bech Næsheim?” Eskild repeats the name for a second time when the topic of conversation returns to Isak.

He had been begging Isak to start up a video call, desperately needing to catch Isak up in the latest of his office drama. It all turned out to be rather predictable, Rich was still possibly homophobic, Anita was still being unnecessarily bitchy, and Finn was still unbelievably cute. Isak really should have known better, even if deep down he doesn’t actually mind the distraction.

“Yes, as in that is his name.” He sighs probably coming across a bit more exasperated than the situation calls for.

“Isak, as in the director?”

“How did you know he was a director? I know it takes you longer than that to google someone.”

Eskild exhales almost defeated, “okay I get people not paying attention to the ending credits of a film, but to not even bother reading the names at the beginning of the film is just plain rude.” Eskild starts typing away on his laptop before turning his phone around so Isak can see what’s on the screen.

“Look, he directed _Minute for Minute_.” Eskild says showing Isak Even’s name on the film’s site.

 _Minute for Minute_ is the short film he saw when Eskild dragged him along to the Norwegian Film Festival because his plus one had cancelled last minute and something apparently needed to be done about Isak’s sour mood at the time. It was during a point in his life when he was overworked and on the brink of giving up his dreams. He was questioning his every life choice, wondering if any of his hard work would ever pay off, wondering if everything he was putting himself through was worth it.

It ended up being the last film they went to see that day and after watching one about a group of fishermen and another about the plight of surfers in Iceland, he had been in no mood to sit through another one. But something about this one was different and he was immediately sucked in from the start despite it being a love story. Afterwards, when asked, he had claimed that the characters were cliched and predictable, but the truth was it had awoken a new yearning within him. It renewed his motivation and helped him put his life into perspective.

“How could you not have known that he directed it?” Eskild’s face is back on his phone now.

“I don’t know why I would have. I’ve generally never been too invested in who works on which film” Isak shrugs.

“Well get invested, I know you that you loved it even though you wouldn’t admit it. That film touched something inside you, because you didn’t get out of your funk just because you got a good night’s sleep.”

“Whatever” Isak rolls his eyes “I don’t know what difference it makes anyways.”

“What do you mean? It makes all the difference, he directed the film that changed your life.”

“I wouldn’t necessarily go that far,” though it did come close and the more Isak thinks about it, the more he can see that yes, someone like Even would have a story that beautiful to tell.

After a little bit more pestering Eskild finally lets the issue rest.

“I still don’t know what to do. I don’t think I’ve made any progress at all.” Isak answers truthfully when Eskild asks him how he is holding up.”

“It’s only been a couple of days, you have to cut yourself some slack, Isak. This kind of stuff takes time, you can’t rush it.” There may be times when Eskild’s self appointment as a sort of guardian role to Isak can be a little much to handle, but then there are times like these when Isak is beyond grateful to have him in his life.

“Has it stopped snowing there yet?” Eskild asks after they’ve covered just about everything else.

“Nah, but it has slowed down quite a bit” Isak pulls back the curtains to peek outside and finds Even all bundled up shoveling the snow from the sidewalk.

“Isak?”

“Huh?”

“I asked what your plans for the rest of the day were.” Eskild repeats.

“Actually I think I’m going to go clean the snow.” Because suddenly it’s the only place he wants to be, not sat in his living room trying to get the image of wreaths and black suits and dresses out of his mind. No offence to Eskild and his company.

“But I thought it hasn’t stopped snowing yet.” Eskild states confused.

“Right, but if I shovel some now and some later then it won’t be such a big job.” He’s proud of himself for thinking of that on the spot.

“Didn’t you just say the snowfall is already slowing down? All you’re going to do is clean it now and then it’ll continue to snow and all you’ll be left with is that tiny layer of snow that is a pain to clean where all you’re really doing is loudly scraping the snow shovel over the concrete.” Isak can see Eskild shiver at that last part. He isn’t fond of that sound himself.

“Do you really want to sit here debating the best way to clean snow right now?” Isak tilts his head in exasperation, eyes darting back to the window.

“Well no, because the best way is my way… wait a minute, show me what’s outside.”

“Excuse me?” he asks, his voice a little too high, a little too defensive.

“You heard me, show me what’s outside your window.” Eskild sounds far too smug for Isak’s liking.

“Snow. There’s snow outside my window, Eskild.” Isak tries to make him back down.

“I don’t think so, I think there’s more than just snow, come on, show me.”

Aware that Eskild will never let it go otherwise, he pulls back the curtain and points the camera outside, away from Even.

“Now swivel” Eskild’s voice carries from the phone.

Sighing, Isak does just that, knowing there’s no way to keep Even from being inside the shot.

“Woah, woah, stop. Is that him?” he does for all of five seconds before turning the phone back around and letting the curtain fall back.

“Yes, you happy now?”

“Oh so very happy. Go on then, go get laid.” Eskild half sings. “I want details later. Not the dirty details. Although-”

“I’m not getting laid” Isak rolls his eyes not for the first time, although definitely not for the last time either. Eskild just brings it out in him.

“Believe me, we all know you’re not.” Eskild gives him a consoling look.

“Bye Eskild” he says pointedly.

“Bye my little protege.” Help him.

It takes him no time at all to bundle up, grab the snow shovel, and head outside. Not wanting to interrupt Even in the middle of his shoveling, he starts cleaning the path to the house. When he gets halfway through he looks up to find Even smiling at him and Isak waves when their eyes meet.

“Want a hand?” Even offers walking up to him.

“I’m sure you’d rather be inside after cleaning your side.” Isak says only to be polite, because it would be a shame if Even were to just agree and walk away..

“No, this is just fine,” Even smiles leaning on his shovel “how about I do the sidewalk while you finish the path to the house?”

“Sure, works for me” Isak shrugs with a smile of his own. He didn’t have a plan when coming out here, but shoveling snow it turns out is not a very social activity and he has to admit he’s a little disappointed. When he hears the sound of Even starting to shovel again, he gets to work himself.

“Thanks” Isak says once they’re done “sorry for keeping you out here longer than necessary.” Well there goes that attempt, better luck next time.

“Do you want to come in and warm up a little?” Even asks even though they’re standing right in front of Isak’s door. Or maybe it wasn’t all in vain after all. He nods and follows Even inside.

“Where are your parents?” he asks once they’re seated in the living room, hot chocolate in hand.

“They wanted a bit of time on their own so they went to the Christmas market.” Even adjusts his posture on the couch so he is facing Isak.

“Oh wow I don’t even remember the last time I went to one, must have been at least six years ago now.”

“You seriously haven’t gone in that long?” Even looks at him incredulously.

“Nope, I probably should try to make it out there though. Why, do you usually go?”

“Yeah, I do my best to go every year, it’s tradition. If you’d like, we can go together“ Even offers catching Isak off guard.

“Uh yeah sure, we can.” Unfortunately his brain and mouth choose that moment to stop communicating and he trips over each word, managing to make him sound reluctant.

“I mean if you want to go, if not then no pressure.”

“No no, it would be good to go sometime.” Isak reassures him.

“Alright, then let’s go sometime.” Even’s laugh just may be one of the nicest sounds Isak has ever heard.

“Sometime.” Isak smiles back and it sounds more like a vow of unspoken words to his ears.

Isak does end up having to come out later after it’s stopped snowing to clean the rest of the snow and the shovel against the concrete does make an awful sound, but it was worth it and he’s not about to admit any of that to Eskild.


	9. Chapter 9

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> You guys have been so sweet and supportive in the comments and with the kudos that I just want to thank all of you for taking the time to be so incredibly kind <3

It’s already late afternoon by the time Isak makes it back into the house after his second time shoveling snow. His mind still on Even and their conversation and he wonders not for the first time about how fast Even has made himself a place in Isak’s life in just a matter of a couple of days. It was just so easy to fall into a friendship with him. But what he is not sure about is the why. What was Even’s reason for spending so much time around him? Was it because he felt sorry for him or because of his friendship with his mother that he felt some sort of responsibility for him? He hopes that isn’t the case.

Isak turns on the hallway light, the winter sun almost gone by now, as he takes off his shoes and coat followed by his gloves and scarf. He throws both up on the shelf above the coat hooks when they come tumbling back down, taking the multiple pairs of hats, and scarfs already lying there down with them. Isak lets out an annoyed sound before bending down to pick them all up. A pair of small green gloves catch his eye and he pulls them out of the pile before shoving the remaining items back on the shelf with his other hand.

He inspects the well worn gloves with a smile, running his thumb along the tattered finger tips, recalling the times spent playing in the snow or learning how to ski, his mother never far away, watching over him. Of course she would hold onto things like a pair of old tattered gloves that anyone else would have thrown out long ago. She was always sentimental when it came to Isak’s belongings, having reasons to hold onto them even if that reason was only one specific memory tied to the item.

_“Mamma, the point of spring cleaning is to get rid of stuff, not to bring more out of storage.” Isak had offered to help her when she said she wanted to clean out the basement, but now he was watching her go through his childhood belongings and one by one take them out of their boxes so that she could put them back into his room._

_“It’s only a couple of things. And these don’t belong in dusty old boxes, they have memories and need to be displayed.” She reasoned dusting off an old stuffed toy that looked like a watermelon with a face and arms. He didn’t even remember ever having seen it before._

_“It’ll just create more clutter for you mamma and give you more to clean.” He was trying his best to make it easier on her._

_“You’re off at university now and I just want to keep things around the house to remind me of you.” Her smile was so bright that he couldn’t deny her anything right then. And it was why he couldn’t bring up that he hadn’t been living there for years already and that going to a new school wouldn’t make much of a difference._

_“Okay fine, but if I have to take off half a bed full of stuffed toys every time I come to stay the night, just know I won’t hold back on the complaining” he finally relented._

_“See?” she turned that smile back at him, placing a kiss on his cheek “that’s called a compromise” he shook his head looking around the basement. They hadn’t even taken one bag of donations or trash out yet while three boxes of Isak’s things lay open on the ground. He was sure what they had arrived at was no compromise, but he just wanted her to be happy and if that meant he had to see a few more of his childhood items around the house, or to sleep surrounded by old stuffed toys, then so be it._

_"We have to hold on to our memories, Isak. They help keep those closest to us in our hearts" She smiled, bringing a hand to rest on his cheek "and with those you love in your heart, you will never be alone, you won't be lost."_

Still smiling, he returns the gloves to their original spot, knowing that he will never throw those out either and walks into the kitchen where he eyes the contents of the fridge. Not finding anything he’s in the mood for, he settles on a bowl of cereal and heads into the living room. Isak resists the urge to mumble an apology as he settles himself on the couch, given his mother’s aversion to food and drink in the living room. Isak had taken a few clumsy spills while growing up that ended up leaving permanent stains on the carpet, all of which were now strategically covered by furniture and the large area rug decorating the middle of the room.

After a few episodes of shows that barely hold his attention, he eyes the cabinet that holds all of his mother’s carefully crafted photo albums. He recalls the joy he had felt warm his heart, listening to stories of her just the previous night, being surrounded by people that loved her almost as much as he did. And how nice it had been to see her smiling face in pictures he had never seen before. The desire to see her and recall all those happy memories outweighs any other need that he has and next thing he knows he is standing in front of the cabinet.

Taking a deep breath, he steels himself before opening it up looking over the worn books stuffed into the shelves, letting his fingers run over the spines. All a bit battered looking because his mom was always a firm believer that photo albums were meant to be shared, not hidden away. So no matter who came over, they could always expect a cup of fresh coffee, a story, and a few family pictures. It had become her trademark and people loved her all the more for it.

A few times he was fortunate enough while visiting to witness first hand how intensely friends of hers would listen, hanging on to her every word. It was easy to, she was a wonderful storyteller after all. He would find himself listening in even when the stories were about him. She managed to transport him right back to those moments with her words. The memories feeling warmer each time.

After looking over the cracked spines, he decides on the green photo album. He’s not yet ready to look at the more recent ones, the thinner ones from his teens. So he takes it out, careful not to let the remaining albums topple down. With the book freed, he settles himself back on the couch.

It’s three pages of pictures later, this one of him aged 3-4, before he pauses, feeling a little out of breath and realizing his tears are dripping down on the pages. He runs a finger over her face in a picture where they’re both pretending to fly. _I miss you. So much._ It’s not that she doesn’t already permeate his every waking thought, but something about flipping through the pages makes him feel like she is sitting right next to him, looking over his shoulder and smiling with him and all he wants to do is to lean into her, to receive one of her wonderful hugs just one last time. To quell the gaping emptiness within him. _Mamma, I don’t know what to do, I’m just so sad right now._

Wiping at his face, sniffling, he flips the page again he finds a picture labeled “August - Isak age 4 and Even age 6.” It’s of the two of them in Isak’s living room, pre area rug, watching TV while lying on their stomachs, sides pressed up against each other, Even’s arm wrapped around him. Maybe that’s why Even sticks around, Isak thinks after staring at it for a while, because they were meant to have that bond all along. And just maybe he feels that same pull that Isak feels. He looks at the picture a moment longer, smiling with more unshed tears still in his eyes at the thought that the picture had been important enough to his mother to add in.

That night he gets to age nine before he ends up falling asleep right there on the couch with the TV and light still on. Clutching the book with tears drying on his face. But his heart full of warmth and love, feeling closer to her than he had in months, as he dreams of the same memories he was looking at just moments earlier.


	10. Chapter 10

_“Wake up” his mother’s urgent voice called out through his confused sleepy state._

_“Wake up Isak, we have to get ready to for church.” He could hear his closet doors open and clothes being rustled around before something soft fell on top of his blanket._

_“We don’t go to church, mamma” the grumpy thirteen year old mumbled, not opening his eyes. Trying to put an end to the conversation and to get back to sleep._

_“Let’s go Isak, you need to get up and get dressed” her tone firm, the tone of voice she would only use when he was in trouble which was a rare occurrence._

_Isak cracked an eye open to find his room still dark with the exception of the light coming in from the hallway. He never woke up this early._

_“It’s still dark out mamma, there’s nowhere to go to.” He tried, bargaining for more sleep._

_“We have to leave now, to pray for forgiveness,” she began tugging on his arm, her voice sounding detached, but urgent._

_“Mamma, what are you-”_

_“We need to beg for forgiveness for our sins, to make us whole again.” she continued on, as if not hearing his words._

_“Mamma, you’re scaring me” Isak called out confused, panicking when she wouldn’t let go of his arm._

_“Marianne?” His father asked from the hallway bewildered and half asleep._

_She turned to him, finally letting go of Isak “if we don’t go now, we’ll never be forgiven” she rambled on, looking desperate._

_Isak’s father looked concerned from her back to Isak who was still lying in bed, scared and confused._

_“It’s okay Isak, go back to sleep” he said before guiding his mother out of the room, shutting the door behind them._

_Even after his father had returned to check on him, reassuring him his mother was now fast asleep and that everything would be alright, Isak didn’t dare close his eyes again to go back to sleep for the rest of the night._

Isak is pulled from his fitful sleep by the ring of the doorbell. Disoriented he takes in his surroundings, trying to recall what happened, grimacing when he turns his neck. Sleeping on the couch was definitely a bad idea. He stands up still feeling exhausted, his head hurts from crying the night before, and his eyes feel puffy. Looking down at himself he finds his clothes to be in no better shape.

The doorbell rings again. Shit.

He groans and walks over to the front door, dragging his feet, muscles feeling tight and sore, hoping he doesn’t actually look the way he feels.

All of his worries about his appearance are confirmed when he sees Even’s expression.

“Hey….umm...are you ok- sorry do you want me to come back later or just reschedule?” Even stumbles over his words sounding unsure, obviously not expecting what met him at the door.

“No” Isak lets out a little too quickly, “come in, please. Sorry I just need a few minutes, that’s all, I mean if you don’t mind.” Being alone right now is the last thing he wants. And it must show because Even simply nods and steps inside from the cold. He had been looking forward to spending more time with him and is mortified at the state he met him in, but that bit of information he keeps to himself.

“I should…” Isak starts, pointing towards the stairs with his right thumb, suddenly feeling quite awkward and self conscious.

“Yeah of course” Even returns with one of his easy smiles, managing to lessen Isak’s embarrassment slightly. “I can get started on breakfast while you’re upstairs.” he offers like it’s no problem at all. Like it wasn’t Isak who had invited him over. Of course he would.

“Sure” Isak nods, knowing it would probably be awkward for Even to sit downstairs idly while Isak was washing up. “just help yourself to whatever?”

“Will do”

Upstairs, Isak walks by the mirror and cringes. There was no hiding last night’s tears. His cheeks are still flushed, his face puffy, and his hair is sticking out every which way, flattened on one side where he had been leaning against the armrest. A quick splash of water will be nowhere enough to fix this, so he turns on the shower and hops in before it can warm up in order to save time.

Feeling a little bit more human following his shower, he’s ready to face Even again. But he comes to a halt when he sees him moving around so naturally in his kitchen, slicing up some bread and putting out a couple of spreads and shaved meats. Like he’s only a blasting radio away from being right at home.

“Do you want to talk about it?” Even asks curiously when he notices Isak standing in the doorway, referring to earlier.

“Not really” Isak shifts to his other leg. Not yet at least.

“Okay,” Even accepts the answer with a nod still looking a little concerned as he brings two steaming cups of coffee to the table and Isak sits down joining him.

“Sorry about inviting you over and then having you throw breakfast together,” hoping it won’t all of a sudden color Even’s opinion of him. Not that he seems to be the judging type.

But Even only grins mischievously “Not at all, it’s no bother to prepare a meal for the cute neighbour.”

Isak takes pride in not choking on his coffee and or spitting it out, but he can feel his ears getting warm and knows there’s no hiding his reaction. And from the way Even is trying to suppress his laughter, he knows Even got exactly the reaction he was looking for.

Teasing, right? He saw Isak looking a mess earlier and just wanted to cheer him up. Except that doesn’t sound right to him either. But it’s enough to relax them both and to start talking freely.

“Funny” Isak is still not over the blush, but he carries on anyways “here I thought you were just providing a service.”

“A service?” Even’s brows furrow.

“Yeah, you know, like for the elderly. You come help them shovel the snow, help them make meals, keep them company and all that.”

Even barks out a laugh “if that’s the case you would hardly qualify at your age.”

“Well, maybe you felt sorry for me.” Isak half jokes, wondering if there is truth to the words.

Even sobers quickly at that and looks at Isak for a moment, making the younger man feel exposed, “That’s definitely not the reason.” he simply says and just for the blink of an eye he almost looks disappointed before his trademark smile is right back on his face.

“Either way, thank you.” Isak resists the urge to take a hold of Even’s hand to emphasize his sincerity.

“That’s what neighbours are for” Even says lightly with a smile. Isak certainly hopes not. He finds himself hoping there’s more to it than just that. Instead of saying any of that, he simply smiles and steers the conversation back onto their childhoods and later years, always bordering on flirty, trying to get to know Even better.

“You’re starting again in January aren’t you?” Even asks when the topic had turned back to stories of their times at work and from their school days.

“Yup, I’m planning on going back home on the 30th. I was hoping to pack a few things up by then. Maybe even look through a few of the boxes in the basement, see what can be donated and what should be kept.”

And all of a sudden Isak wants to share, he doesn’t want to keep his feelings inside. He doesn’t want last night to start becoming a habit and he has no reason to think that Even will be anything less than kind and supportive.

“I was actually going through old photos last night and I could barely handle that.” Isak confesses “I can’t imagine how I’m going to be able to tackle going through everything else.” he grimaces, feeling like he keeps going on about his problems, bringing the mood down.

But Even simply hits him back with “I can always come over and lend a hand if having the company will help.”

“You’ve already done so much…” Isak starts, but the reality is that he doesn’t want to be alone when going through old boxes and belongings.

“It’s no bother at all, I promise” Even says sincerely and Isak is struck by how natural it feels to have Even around and how easily he can imagine Even helping him, supporting him. It reminds Isak of the picture of the two of them and he feels the need to share it.

“While I was going through my old albums I actually found a picture of the two of us, I’m surprised I’ve never seen it before.”

“No way? Is it one of the same ones that I was showing you?” Even asks curiously.

“No it’s a different one. I can show you if you’d like?” Both of them had been finished with breakfast for a while already, simply enjoying the conversation flowing between them.

“Sure,” Even lets out enthusiastically, following Isak.


	11. Chapter 11

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I'm posting the next chapter today because I won't have time to tomorrow. This is a shorter one, but it's a continuation from the last one.

Even lets out a surprised “oh” when he sees the picture. Their close bond is simply impossible to miss. “I don’t remember this being taken.”

Isak can only nod “looks like your mother was right, we were pretty close.”

Even looks at it for a while before turning to Isak and handing back the photo. “kinda makes you wonder what could have been, doesn’t it?” His eyebrows raising once.

Would they have been the best of friends growing up or would they still have eventually grown apart, Isak wonders placing the photo back into the album on the coffee table. He sits down on the couch, watching Even move around, smiling at each picture he sees, retelling bits of stories that he was told about them.

Eventually Even turns to look at the photos on the mantel, picking up the one of her and his family at Christmas “she was so lovely, always there with the right words.”

The same question from yesterday crosses his mind again, what did Even have to gain from providing Isak with constant company. But then another question comes to mind.

“How did you get to be so close to her?” Isak asks hesitantly, not wanting to overstep.

Even looks back at the photo with a sad smile one last time before placing it back on the mantel. “In my last year of school I was diagnosed with bipolar,” he seats himself on the other side of the couch, facing him and Isak turns to meet his gaze.

“I fell into a depression so deep that I had to come back home…but even once I got out of it, I didn’t handle it well. I felt as if I no longer had any control over my life. I thought there was no point to anything anymore. It probably didn’t help that I had started spending so much time in my own head at that point, isolating myself except to go out to get drunk and hook up. Before I knew it I was manic again within a matter of two months.”

He clears his throat and looks to Isak unsure. Isak can’t do anything but sit there quietly, listening attentively. There’s nothing for him to say right now, not while Even is opening up about himself. It seems to be the encouragement he needs because he continues on.

“I was extremely reckless, I almost crashed my parent’s car and then when that didn’t work, I snuck onto the roof of the hotel, but security found me before I could do anything.”

Isak takes a moment to digest the words when that didn’t work and when his eyes meet Even’s he knows it means exactly what he thinks it does.

“My parents wouldn’t let me out of their sight after that. They took turns watching me day and night, they knew I would try again. I was too angry not to. After that, therapy was no longer optional and while it did help some, it wasn’t enough for me to have..I guess have anything anchoring me to the real world. I felt too disconnected and having other people tell me what I should and shouldn’t be doing when they didn’t have to personally experience any of it, it all felt so fake, you know?”

Even swallows, looking towards one of the photos of Isak and his mother lying on the table.

“So one day Marianne came to talk to me, I think my mom was at her wits ends at that point. And she spoke about her own difficulties, her own fears...being a good mother, this was about a year after you moved out…” Even pauses looking at Isak uncertain “If it makes you uncomfortable, I can stop.”

“No, no I want to hear this.”

“She was going through a lot at that time too and felt all alone and I guess we sort of bonded.”

Isak swallows, that familiar twinge of guilt taking hold again.

“She talked about you a lot.” Even grins “Sometimes I wasn’t sure whether it was her stories or my own memories that I was remembering.”

Sounds about right, Isak grins around the lump in his throat.

“She felt guilty for not seeking help sooner, for scaring you all those years and for making you feel so unsafe that you had to leave. She never blamed you though or was upset with you. She was proud of you for being strong and knowing how to look after yourself even though you were never shown how.”

He can feel the lump growing and tries to force it down.

“Talking to her just made it all seem real, because she had to go through the struggle, stigma, the meds, the therapy, constantly having to keep a check on your own mental state, going through daily checklists to make sure you don’t go over the edge. All of a sudden it wasn’t just someone telling me what to do, but someone showing me what was possible. Someone I could relate to.” Even chews on his bottom lip then shrugs “so I guess that’s how we got to be so close, we could relate to one another in a way we couldn’t to a lot of people around us.”

They just sit there in silence for a while, Isak processing the weight of Even’s words. Knowing that he won’t be able to get any words out even if he tried.

“Thank you for sharing all that.” His mother hadn’t exactly been secretive about how she was doing day to day, but she didn’t exactly share every detail either. She usually stuck to going as far as telling him she was having a good day or a bad day when he asked her how she was doing.

“And thank you for opening up and helping me understand her better.” His voice only wavering slightly.

Even surprises him when he reaches over and places a hand on Isak’s shoulder in comfort. He doesn’t say anything, but he doesn’t really need to because the gesture says it all. _You are not alone._

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Sorry if these last couple of chapters dragged a bit. I promise things are going to be moving along for them right away, I just had to get a couple of things covered before they can move forward <3


	12. Chapter 12

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Once again thank you everyone for reading and I hope you're enjoying it <3

The next day the temperature drops down to an uncharacteristically low -14°C. Isak would have stayed home, bundled up under a blanket like any sane person would, if it weren’t for an urgent grocery run for milk, toilet paper, and dish soap. The cold snap was supposed to last another two days and if it had been anything else, he would have made due without. 

Not even five minutes after stepping out of his front door he knew it had been a mistake, but it was too late, he decided. He was already bundled up and already outside. He wasn’t about to have gone through all that trouble just to turn back at the end of the street.

But despite the biting cold, he’s in a pretty good mood. Especially now that he is only a block away from the house and just that much closer to a hot shower and a cup of hot cocoa. He quickens his pace, his goal that much closer in sight. But it’s not only the prospect of being back at the house and warm again that has his spirits so high. He’s been feeling lighter ever since his conversation with Even the previous morning. It had been a relief to hear of their close friendship and to hear that someone was there for his mother even if he wasn’t. There was also a part of him that was relieved to know that Even also had someone there when he needed them most.

The rest of the morning was spent going through more photos, this time laughing together, but Even’s hand always nearby whenever they came across a memory that got too emotional for Isak. It was a new level of being comforted that he had never experienced before. One that he was sure had more to do with the person than the gesture. And he could easily get used to it.

He makes it to his front door when he sees Inger and Daniel stepping out, spotting him immediately.

“Hi Isak!” Inger calls out and Daniel waves from behind her.

“Hi Inger, hi Daniel!” he greets back quickly with a smile, ready to finally be inside. He’s pretty sure his legs are frozen solid at this point. 

“Even was telling us you’ll be here until the end of the month” Inger says walking over before he can even get his keys out. 

“Yes, that is right,” Isak goes for smiling politely to the neighbours that had invited him into their home so graciously, choosing to ignore his impatient inner voice yelling at him to end the conversation as soon as possible so he can finally enjoy the warmth of a hot shower.

“And are you going to be here for Christmas next weekend then too?” She asks hopeful.

“Umm yeah actually I will be around, with the drive back and forth and everything it’s not worth going back just for a day or two.” Isak fidgets a little, uncomfortable to admit he’ll be spending the holidays on his own but also to fight the discomfort of the cold.

“Isn’t that just perfect then, you can come join us.” Inger states matter of factly.

“Oh no, I don’t want to intrude or anything, I’ll be fine.” Isak tries to politely decline, not exactly wanting to be seen as a charity case.

“Nonsense, Isak.” Inger dismisses “you’ll be joining us and it’s not up for debate. Now don’t try to argue your way out of it young man. I will stay out here with you until you finally agree.”

Daniel pulls a face as if to say listen to her, she means it. 

Isak lets out a tired laugh “alright Inger, I’ll be there. Thank you for inviting me to spend it with your family.” And he is grateful, but he’s also quite cold.

“Great” she glows “now you get yourself inside or you’ll freeze out here.” Inger scolds drawing a surprised laugh out of Isak given that moments ago she was ready to hold him hostage in the cold.

“I should do that” he agrees smiling “I’ll see you later Inger, later Daniel.” and finally takes his keys out of his pockets.

This time when Isak steps through the front door, the void is still there, but smaller and no longer front and center. Instead he is met by warmth and the memories of home.

“You’ve been quiet these past few days.” Jonas says when Isak video calls him later that evening, fully warmed up, sitting on the couch and watching some Christmas time movie that wasn’t holding his attention. 

“Sorry, it’s been kind of eventful these past few days.” Isak leans back so that his head is resting on the couch’s armrest, holding his phone up in front of him. Not a sustainable position, but it would do for now.

“But you’re doing alright?” Jonas asks concerned.

“A lot better than I was, yeah.” Isak admits with a smile.

Jonas seems to hesitate momentarily “Eskild mentioned something about a neighbour.”

“Oh, I guess I’ve been spending a bit of time with them. They were pretty close with mamma, so it’s been nice hearing about her from them.” He offers in explanation.

“I’m glad you’re not alone then.” He smiles “so is it just the couple next door, or…”

Isak’s not sure what Jonas is fishing for exactly “well the two of them plus their son.”

“Ah, and how old is he?” 

“I dunno” Isak shrugs “I guess he’d be around 25 or so?” 

“Mhmm, is he hot?” 

“What kind of a question is that?” Isak laughs out, but can feel colour begin to creep into his cheeks.

“That sounds like a yes!” Eva calls from off screen.

Isak groans “thanks for the heads up” shooting Jonas a look.

“I’ll try not to take offence to that” Eva says from behind Jonas, on screen now “but back to the hot guy next door.”

“What about him?” Isak groans not wanting to complicate anything or make him think there may be something when there really isn’t. Naturally his best friends were not going to make it any easier on him.

“Well that’s what we want to know, sounds like you’ve been spending quite a bit of time with him from the way Eskild told it.” And that was the last time Isak would divulge any information to Eskild.

“It’s only been a couple of meals here and there. He brought me breakfast the morning after I got here and then I spent the next evening with him and his parents.” Isak tries to make it sound as casual as possible, because it was, he tells himself.

“Hey, he’s already met the parents” Eva bumps Jonas’s shoulder with her own before turning back to Isak. “Bringing by food and inviting you for dinner, that’s quite thoughtful.”

“He was just being neighbourly” Isak deflects.

Jonas scoffs “if that’s the case then we would be eating half our dinners with Anita.” Anita is the elderly lady living next to Jonas and Eva, constantly covered in cat hair and smelling of peppermint tea and wearing her crocs with a pair of white stockings. The whole floor could hear her cats meowing whenever she opened up her door. Lovely lady, but not their first pick for a dinner guest.

“Maybe the world would be a better place if you did.” Isak responds pointedly.

“Okay okay, fine. We’ll let it go.” Jonas finally relents when Isak starts to get a little worked up at all of the teasing.

“Have you changed your mind about Christmas, or do you want us to come up so you won’t be alone?” Jonas offers, changing the subject, and Isak really appreciates the sentiment. But he wouldn’t wish the holiday time travel onto anyone. Especially considering how unpredictable the weather has been this winter.

“Actually I may have some plans for Christmas now.” He says, hoping they won’t ask for more details.

“Really? What kind of plans?” Eva asks curiously. He should know better by now, know that they always take an interest in his life, that they are always there for him.

“I was invited to spend it next door.” Isak finally admits, gearing himself up for a second round of playground level teasing. 

“You’re really not making this easy on yourself, are you?” Eva grins. 

No, he really isn’t, he groans.

“Alright, give me your best.” He sighs defeated.


	13. Chapter 13

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hope you guys enjoy! Thanks once more for all the kudos and kind comments :)

Later that night Isak is rummaging through the hallway closet for another blanket to throw onto the couch when he hears a knock at the door. He stops to look towards the noise, his heart immediately skipping a beat, conditioned to associate visitors to the house with Even at this point. No wonder Eva and Jonas didn’t buy into his denials. He’s no better than a beagle at the moment, ready to dance in circles just at the mere idea of Even stopping by. Scolding himself, not unlike the way he would with an over excited pup, he goes for the door, blanket in hand.

A gust of icy cold wind blows in the moment he opens it and he clutches the blanket tighter with his other arm.

“Even” he lets out surprised, taking a step back, half hiding behind the door in hopes of staying warm. “Come in?”

“Thanks. Sorry for just dropping by, but I was out walking and saw the light still on. I wanted to say hi, but I don’t have your number or anything.” Even apologizes, shifting a little nervously, once the door is shut behind him.

Isak had taken notice of that too. There were multiple times since yesterday where he just wanted to send off a text to Even, even if it was only about the weather or something ridiculous he saw on the internet. But he didn’t have the foresight or a good enough reason to ask for his number before, so he didn’t.

“Don’t even worry about it,” he dismisses trying to sound nonchalant “not like I’ve had much keeping me busy.” Isak hadn’t done much with his day short of running out to the store and calling Jonas and Eva and right now he could think of no better way to finish it.

“I was just gearing up to watch a movie if you want to join” Isak continues to try to sound casual, raising the blanket a little for emphasis.

“In the living room” he feels the need to add when Even is still staring at him and the blanket a few seconds later. Was the blanket too suggestive?

“Of course,” Even gives him an amused look as he steps out of his shoes and removes his coat.

“What were you even doing walking outside voluntarily?” The temperature had dropped even lower since that afternoon.

“Needed to clear my head.” he answers lifting his right shoulder once and Isak accepts the response, being able to relate.

Isak leads him into the livingroom where he already has himself otherwise set up.

“So what were you going to watch?” Even asks looking at the TV.

“I hadn’t picked yet, I was planning on scrolling through Netflix until I found something I liked. But I’m sure we can agree on something together.” He throws in.

“I’m sure we can” Even grins.

However, choosing a movie they both can agree on turns out to be a lot more difficult than expected.

“I can’t believe you’ve never seen The Big Sleep!”

“You can’t believe I’ve never seen it” Isak deadpans “what reason would I have ever had to watch an English black and white movie which is apparently from the 40s no less.” That was all he managed to pick up after a quick google search.

“Because it is a classic, Isak.”

“Not in my book it’s not.” He isn’t trying to be difficult, he just really doesn’t want to sit through two hours of black and white.

“But it’s a story about murder, organized crime, blackmail, and love!”

“That’s not so unique of a story line these days.” Isak shoots back exasperated.

“But it was for the time.”

“Even, I am not sitting through a black and white movie with you.” It’s Even’s turn to look exasperated now.

It was already past 21.00 when Even had first come over but now it’s half an hour later and they still have not come to a consensus. And it doesn’t look like they are going to be getting to one any time soon.

“So what, you can’t appreciate a movie unless it’s in color and has... _Nicolas Cage_ in it?” He says the name like it’s blasphemy itself and Isak can’t resist the urge to egg him on.

“Haven’t you seen National Treasure? It’s literally as the name says, a national treasure.” His eyebrows high, shocked that Even would ever suggest anything less.

Groaning Even brings his hands to his face “I can’t believe this.” he shakes his head before looking back up at Isak with an apologetic expression, “I don’t think this can work anymore” he gestures between the two of them. Isak ignores the way his stomach flips the slightest bit at the prospect of there being something between the two of them.

“Ah well I guess it was good while it lasted.” Isak sighs to which Even solemnly nods.

“Better to end this on a high note.”

“Before I have to find out that you don’t pick your socks up after taking them off in every random room.” The moment the words are out, Isak could kick himself. They were simply joking around, why did he have to blurt out something so domestic. He hopes, pleads that Even won’t pick up on it, but the smirk on Even’s lips makes it clear that he is not that lucky.

“Is that your only dealbreaker?” Even laughs and the distance between them seems to get smaller. Or maybe Even just moves closer. Isak isn’t sure in his flustered state, not having expected the conversation to take this turn.

Isak is momentarily jealous of how easily Even seems to be able to just go along with any topic thrown his way, flirtatious or otherwise, never floundering once unlike Isak right now.

“Not at all, I’ve got a whole list of them.” he responds breezily.

“Aha, I guess I will just have to find out what they are” Even continues.

“Well I can tell you right now black and white movies are one of them. It might actually be top five.” Isak throws back boldly.

“Alright alright, I get it, let’s get back to picking out a movie then” the older man laughs and thankfully turns the conversation back on track

“Okay, how about this. We each pick two categories that the movie has to have and find something based on that. And we have to watch it regardless of how bad it may be” Isak lays out diplomatically then pauses for a few seconds “but it can’t be black and white, or a silent film” he quickly adds before Even can even open his mouth to respond.

“And it can’t be one of those overly obscure artistic films either.” He throws in just to be safe.

Even in turn just looks at him almost...endearingly Isak wants to say, but no, that can’t be it.

“How about you just tell me which ones it can have.” he throws back amused.

“Every other category is fine” Isak tilts his head to one side casually “except it can’t be a musical either.”

After much deliberation and many rejected films later, they finally manage to find a movie that satisfies categories from both sides despite a groaning “maybe we should have set a time limit, three hours is asking a lot. Let me throw on some coffee first” from Isak.

When they’re settled on opposite sides of the same couch, feet resting on the middle cushion and legs bent at the knees, Isak throws the blanket over both their knees and turns around to hit play. It’s not even ten minutes in when Even adjusts his position and Isak can feel Even’s sock clad toes resting against his own. The small gesture shouldn’t affect Isak this much. It shouldn’t make his heart skip a beat and his mind run wild, making it hard to focus on the movie itself. It could have even just been an accidental move.

But the action also makes Isak bold and shortly after Isak is the one adjusting his position until their calves are resting against the other’s as well. Neither of them say anything or even look up at each other. But the relaxed weight of their legs against one another seems to speak for itself.

Isak knows he will have to address these growing feelings for Even at some point, probably soon. But maybe just for tonight, he can simply appreciate all that Even has done for him and how he has been there for Isak that the younger man had never expected. Maybe for now they can just sit there together and simply be.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hopefully this didn't feel too awkward but I wanted there to be another chapter of them together before i get to the next one. On a side note, it's the middle of October and my entire search history has been Christmas related.


	14. Chapter 14

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> You all have been so unbelievably lovely and kind with all of your comments and kudos!! Thank you so much, it makes me incredibly happy to hear you enjoy this story. <3

“Hmm” Even’s eyebrows furrow when Isak arrives at his door dressed in a hoodie and jacket.

Isak, feeling confused, continues to look at Even, waiting for him to elaborate beyond the simple noise.

“Is that what you’re planning on going in?” Even finally asks.

“Uh, yes?” Isak responds, still no less confused.

Even purses his lips and hums again, continuing to inspect Isak, before shaking his head “It’s not festive enough.”

“I’m sorry, I didn’t know there was a dress code at these things nowadays.” Isak says bewildered.

“Isak, there’s going to be a ton of little kids running around who are completely immersed in the Christmas spirit. As an adult it’s your responsibility to keep that vision alive.” Even says absently. 

Feeling both amused and chastised at the words, Isak smiles slightly and asks “should I go change then?”

“No, actually I have something you can wear. Come on.” Even suddenly smiles motioning for Isak to follow him into a room, that is presumably his bedroom.

There, Even makes a beeline straight for the closet while Isak takes in the drawings and comics pinned to the walls.

“Do you draw too?” He looks around impressed, his eyes landing on a real life drawing of Even’s parents.

“Mhm” Even lets out, half buried in his closet.

“Here, take your sweater off and put this on.” Even holds out a red knit sweater with white snowflakes scattered along the top and a row of decorated green Christmas trees with bright yellow stars for tree toppers all around the waist. It’s not exactly hideous, but also not something Isak would voluntarily wear outdoors.

“I don’t think so” Isak immediately shakes his head.

“Why not?” This time Even’s brows furrow in confusion, the corners of his lips turn into an almost pout.

“Even, no offense, but it is way too Christmasy, I’ll look ridiculous.” 

“It’s a perfectly good sweater, Isak.” Even lets out a sigh, not unlike that of a parent towards an unreasonable child. When had this back and forth bickering become their thing, Isak wonders.  
He has to admit, there’s something about it that feels nice, safe, domestic, reliable even.

“No, what you’re wearing is a perfectly good sweater” Isak points to the red knit sweater with a white selburose pattern running across Even’s chest and shoulders before pointing back at the other one. “This would make me look like one of Santa’s elves.”

“You’re not going to- Okay fine.” Even suddenly pulls off his own sweater pulling his shirt up halfway in the motion and hands it to Isak who’s looking back at him bewildered, still trying to wrap his head around the absurdity of the situation.

“Take yours off and put this one on. I’ll wear the Christmas one and then we can finally get going.” Even states matter of factly, both arms already in the ridiculous sweater.

The action feels so intimate, but Isak shrugs and does it anyways. Even’s sweater is warm to the touch and if Isak inhales deeply as he pulls it over his head, feeling closer to Even than he has managed to get physically, no one has to know. 

Even waves away Isak’s hand when he reaches for his own sweater. “You’ll get it back later, you don’t want to carry it around all day and we’re on a tight schedule.” Once they are done playing musical chairs with the sweaters. Isak has to admit, on Even it manages to look pretty decent, though he still wouldn’t be caught wearing it himself.

“Feeling bossy today, are you?” Isak teases. 

“Not bossy, on a mission.” Even winks.

“And what mission is that?” Isak asks curiously.

“I’ll tell you at the end of the night.” Even smiles secretively as they’re slipping their shoes, coats, hats, scarves and mittens on, ready to go.

The market is exactly as Isak remembers it, though last time he was here he was considerably younger and back then everything had held an air of mystique and magic around it. But even now he finds himself easily getting caught up in the spirit of the festivities as they walk down the alleys decorated with garland hung between the buildings, lit up by strings of lights woven through it. 

They pass a small band made up of clarinet, trombone, flute, and trumpet players, entertaining the crowd with Christmas tunes. Next to them is a group of children putting the finishing touches on a small house made of snow.

“Alright” Even says “which booth was always your favourite to look at?” 

“The gingerbread houses” Isak answers without needing to think.

Coming here as a child, he would immediately pull his parents in that direction, the display always set up in the same location. Of course it was never as astonishing as the gingerbread city he got to see in Bergen the one year when they were visiting his grandparents during the holiday season. But Isak still found the one in their town impressive in its own way.

“Alright, that’s stop number one” Even says leading the way through the crowd, past rows of vendors set up in wooden booths. All decorated to match the festivities surrounding them.

As they enter the tent they are met by the unmistakable smell of gingerbread and rows upon rows of gingerbread houses decorated in various ways. Some displays made by the various vendors, some by different school or church groups, others just by people attending the market. 

“Would you like to decorate your own gingerbread men?” The girl attending the tent with her mother shyly asks.

Isak and Even grin at each other before turning back to her with a unison “sure.” 

“Look, I made you” Isak snickers when Even turns to look at the decorated gingerbread man sporting a crooked smile that goes all the way to the edge of its head.

“Oh that’s funny, because I made you.” Even holds up his which has eyes that are way too big and a large goofy grin. 

“They can go right here” the girl says placing them next to each other in front of a beautifully decorated gingerbread house.

“What a pair” Isak howls with laughter.

“I dunno, I think they resemble us perfectly” Even chortles taking his phone out to snap a picture.

They both thank the girl and her mother, heading back into the busy market, where the afternoon’s twilight has painted the whole scenery a lovely shade of blue. 

“Where to next?” Isak asks thoroughly enjoying the day already as they stop to watch a group of school aged children, some dressed in red with santa hats and some dressed in blue, singing the all too familiar Christmas carols.

“I was thinking we’d get something to drink first” Even says once the children have finished. 

“Gløgg?” Isak asks.

“Gløgg.” Even confirms with a nod and a wide smile to match Isak’s.

Drinks in hand they stop at various vendors, ones selling sweaters, hats and mittens, cheeses and meats, cookies and breads, stopping at some to chat with the vendors, many of them manning their booths with their children right next to them ready to help.

“I like your sweater” a small boy, no more that seven tells Even when they’re stopped at a booth selling julbrød, cookies, cakes, with large gingerbread hearts hung from the inside of the roof, wishing everyone a merry Christmas. 

“Thanks!” Even smiles at the boy “I really like your hat” he says pointing to the boy’s cap, knit into the pattern are two reindeers.

“Thank you!” The child beams “my mamma made it.”

“See that could have been you getting complimented if you’d have worn the sweater” Even teases, his shoulder bumping into Isak’s as they walk along.

“That sweater definitely suits you better than it would me” Isak eyes him.

“Are you kidding? I bet if you’d have worn it we wouldn’t have been able to make it five steps without someone stopping you to compliment you.”

“Oh well” Isak sighs pretending to be mournful “I guess I’ll just have to spend the rest of my life wondering what could have been had I worn it.”

“There’s always next year” Even winks and heads to the next stand before Isak can even take a moment to fully process the words or their meaning. Deciding that they can’t really have meant what he thinks, he files them away to obsess over and dissect later.

They make a few stops picking up items here and there, Isak remembering to pick up something for both Inger and Daniel for Christmas with Even’s help. Though he would have to see about finding something for Even later, not wanting to spoil the surprise.

“Do you want to go pet the reindeers?” Even suddenly asks. 

“Umm” Isak pauses, looking unsure. They were never his favorite stop growing up if he had to be honest.

“It’ll be fun, come on” Even says but stops when Isak still hasn’t moved. 

“You’re not scared of them, are you?” he frowns.

“What? No.” Isak fakes confidence “they’re just boring, you know.”

“Alright” Even smiles “then how about we just go look at them then, no touching. Don’t worry I’ll be there to keep you safe.” He winks, linking his arm into Isak’s, guiding him along. It doesn’t escape Isak’s notice that this is the closest they have been yet.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I hope you're ready for part two of the Christmas market.
> 
> Just a note, I put this together based on what I could find online. But if there are things that are missing that absolutely should be included in a Christmas market trip or anything that I got wrong, please let me know and I will fix it. :)
> 
> Also sorry if the sweater scene was longer than necessary. It was originally supposed to be no more than two paragraphs and I obviously got carried away.


	15. Chapter 15

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I hope you enjoy! <3 and again, thank you so so much for your kindness!

After an incident free visit to the reindeer, Isak and Even continue to walk the rows. Stopping to talk to almost every vendor thanks to Even’s easy going and friendly nature. Not that Isak minds at all, because seeing Even talking and laughing with strangers gives him the opportunity to stand aside and to just observe. To watch the way Even’s eyes turn to barely visible slits when he laughs, head back, and lips wide. To see the friendly manner in which he talks to children or the respectful and genuinely interested way he talks to the elderly. Even even knows some of them personally from years past and they all seemed to know Isak’s mother, offering him their condolences on the loss of Marianne and wishing him the warmest of Christmases.

The market only gets busier as the night begins to fall. Families, couples, and friends all stopping by after a long day at work, ready to unwind and have fun. They make their way past groups of people gathered around hanging fire pits, trying to take in some of the warmth while sharing drinks and stories. Christmas tunes still making their way over the market. 

Once night has fallen completely, Isak and Even slowly make their way towards the center of the market where a giant tree has been decorated and lit for the town to enjoy.

“I can’t even remember the last time I had these. Must have been a couple of years.” Isak says biting into the krumkake filled with berries and whipped cream.

“How could you go so many Christmases without having any?” Even asks astonished.

Isak shrugs “Mamma always got frustrated on the rolling part so after a couple of years of us just breaking them into bits and throwing fruit or cream on top of it, which tasted perfectly fine to me, she said it wasn’t worth the hassle and frustration each year. So she stopped trying to make them and I never bothered to learn how.”

“I don’t think I remember a single Christmas where I didn’t gorge myself on these.” Even says shaking his head and taking a bite of his own.

They’ve been walking side by side, arms pressed together and bumping into one another as they shared stories of Christmases past. 

“I remember the first year Eva decided we should all have a Christmas party at her and Jonas’s new apartment and she assigned me on potato duty thinking I there was no way I could manage to screw those up. She even wrote me up instructions on what to do. Luckily she stepped in pretty early so dinner was saved. But after that everyone came to the agreement that when it comes to cooking, I am completely useless.” Isak chuckles.

“Not completely useless” Even notes, having had breakfast at Isak’s twice now. Although Isak hadn’t prepared either one of them.

“Breakfast I can handle, but beware if I try to cook any other meal of the day. That’s when it gets a little dicey.” Isak jokes.

Eventually they end up in the center of the market, sitting down next to one another on one of the many benches surrounding the giant tree illuminating the area surrounding them.

“So what was the mission you were on?” Isak asks curiously, suddenly remembering their earlier exchange.

Even looks at him for a moment, eyes saying so many things that Isak can’t even begin to understand.

“It was to make tonight unforgettable for you.” He finally says.

“And you couldn’t tell me that earlier?” Isak asks with a bewildered smile.

“The night has to be unforgettable before you can call it that. Otherwise it doesn’t mean anything.”

Isak nods thoughtfully and looks out at the lit up tree in front of them, feeling Even’s eyes directed at his profile.

“Thank you,” he quietly says, eyes turning to meet Even’s gaze “for doing just that and making it truly unforgettable.” For giving him the most amazing of memories.

There’s a moment that flitters between them and Isak thinks it could be their moment, but he hesitates and sees the same unsure look on Even’s face that he must have on his own. But when a large cheer goes out from a group of friends not far behind them, their moment is gone.

Isak glances back to Even from the group and sees a look of sadness that is gone before he can even blink. However, he also sees understanding and something he can’t quite place. It’s an odd combination of expressions and Isak can’t begin to understand the reason for it. Because it couldn’t be. He’s seen Even be so caring and friendly towards everyone they’ve come across today. That’s all it could be, Isak thinks. And he must be reading into it because, to his shock and realization, he wants there to be something. 

He glances around to see a few couples sitting around or standing looking at the same tree they are. All of them as close to one another as he and Even are right this moment, touching from ankle to shoulder. He could blame the few cups of gløgg they’ve had each, but he knows that’s not it. So maybe it’s just the romantic setting they’re in. It’s easy to get caught up in the romance of the holidays only to later realize that the feelings weren’t real, they weren’t lasting.

But Isak doesn’t share any of that with Even. Just like Even doesn’t share whatever thoughts are running through his mind. So they continue to sit there just as close, watching the other visitors to the market, sharing food, drinks, and laughing merrily until the night finally draws to a close. 

Their walk back towards their houses is quiet, both of them lost in thought. Isak thinks of the effort that Even had put into today, all just to make it special for him. To make it unforgettable. And he had. Isak also considers all of the things Even had said to him, the mention of next year, a promise of a future. The way he looked when Isak dismissed his attention as nothing more than friendly and neighbourly. The look of sadness when their moment had gone. The sudden possibility brings a smile to his face and he looks over at Even.

And Even looks back smiling at him the same smile he always gives him. But it’s different, Isak realizes. It’s not the same one he gave out to everyone else tonight. And that’s when Isak realizes they’re still as closely pressed together as they were at the market and the feeling didn’t stay behind either. It stayed with them. 

So Isak takes his hand out of his coat pocket and pulls on Even’s sleeve to bring them both to a stop, still blocks away from their destination. Even looks puzzled and concerned, ready to ask Isak if everything is alright when Isak pulls him in and presses his lips against Even’s. It’s a schoolyard kiss, but it’s enough to draw a sharp intake of air through Even’s nose and enough for Even’s lips to part, turning the kiss deep. Isak’s hands going to the nape of Even’s neck trying to draw him closer still and Even’s hands doing the same with Isak’s waist. The kiss is unabating, no end to it in sight until their lungs finally begin to burn. It may be the longest first kiss Isak has ever shared.

Except one kiss isn’t enough, Isak doesn’t think it will ever be enough. So they kiss a second, a third, and a fourth time. Each time they pull back to look at one another and smile as if to reassure themselves that yes, this is real.

The last stretch of road that should have taken them no more than five minutes ends up taking them fifteen. And when they’re standing in front of their houses they find it even harder to part, trying to reason that just one more kiss will make it easier, but it never does. It’s not until the cold becomes a little too unpleasant to ignore and their fingers frozen that they finally pull apart.

“Wait” Even says bringing Isak right back next to him, expecting another kiss. 

“I still don’t have your number” Even whispers against his lips after giving him exactly what he wanted.

“Oh. Right” Isak blushes pulling out his phone to exchange numbers.

“I’ll see you later?” Isak asks after they’ve done just that, sounding hopeful.

“How about tomorrow?” Even grins.

“Perfect. Come over sometime early afternoon? I’ll probably be sleeping until then.” Isak grins back.

Even nods, pulling him into one last deep kiss, hands inside Isak’s jacket, roaming his sweater clad body, before whispering a goodnight against his lips.

Isak is already at home and halfway up the stairs when he notices he’s still wearing Even’s sweater. But tonight he has no intention of taking it off, the warmth of the night and the smell of Even still clinging to him. He can always wash it later before handing it back.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> So I was honestly going to originally leave it at the almost moment in front of the tree, but you guys have been so wonderful and patient for simple touches, that I couldn't not give you this. I hope you liked it <3


	16. Chapter 16

Isak wakes up around noon feeling disoriented when he sees his room already brightly lit by the sun. It’s not that he’s one to rise early, but during winter it wasn’t exactly hard to wake up before the sun rose. Looking down, he sees the familiar red sweater and the events of the previous night come rushing back at him. The Christmas market, Even, being out late, kissing Even. He had kissed Even. Repeatedly. And he had enjoyed every minute of it, he remembers, blushing.

He looks back out the window. Oh no, Even. He was supposed to be coming over soon and here Isak is, still lying in bed, wearing Even’s sweater no less. Throwing his covers back he heads to the bathroom to get himself cleaned up.

Freshly showered and teeth brushed he looks at his phone and finds a few notifications, but only one he actually cares about. From an hour ago. He should have checked it right when he woke up, he thinks with a grimace, opening it up.

Even

Are we still on for today?

Of course. Just woke up. Come over in 30?

Perfect. See you then ;)

With a wide smile he slides his phone into his pocket when it all of a sudden starts ringing.

Video Call: Eskild.

Isak groans. Why do his friends always have the worst timing? He could let it ring out or ignore it, but he knows ignoring Eskild’s calls won’t stop him. So he chooses to answer instead.

“Hi Eskild.” He greets his friend with a smile.

“Hey Isak, what’s with the radio silence. Everything okay?” Eskild asks concerned, hence the lack of any of the usual nicknames.

“Sorry, I’ve been a little distracted.” Isak answers a bit sheepishly. He probably should have made a greater effort to keep his friends up to date.

“But everything is okay with you?” Eskild presses.

“Yes Eskild, everything is fine.” Isak reassures him “promise” he adds when Eskild still looks skeptical.

“Okay, I’ll take your word for it.” He finally relents before jumping into telling Isak about his week so far, complaining about his co workers some more.

“Like how many more times and how many more ways can I explain it to him before he accepts my answer, you know?” Eskild finishes off his rant about another manager.

“Mhm” Isak nods noncommittally. His mind nowhere near Eskild and his work problems, instead continuously eyeing the time, feeling giddier with each passing minute.

“Wait a minute, what’s with the glow?” Eskild looks at him suspiciously. Leave it to Eskild to be able to pick up on something from miles away with absolutely nothing to go on.

“There is no glow, Eskild.” Isak says, attention snapping back, giving his friend a look. One that may say  _drop it_.

“Oh there absolutely is a glow.” Eskild insists “how could I not have noticed it right away? What are you not telling me?”

Eskild eyes him before his mouth opens in a gasp before Isak can think of a way to get him off this line of questioning.

“Is it the neighbour guy?” And leave it to Eskild to be able to figure everything out based on absolutely no concrete evidence.

“It is! Isn’t it?” Eskild continues when Isak still hasn’t found his voice.

“You took my advice and you went for it.” He says looking smug. “Baby Jesus took my advice and it worked out for him.”

“It’s not like that, or maybe it is.” Isak stumbles over his words. “I don’t know, it’s just…”

“New?” Eskild supplies.

Isak nods “Yeah, it’s new.” Barely out of the package new.

“There’s nothing wrong with that. Maybe it’s just a bit of holiday fun or maybe it’s something more serious. You don’t have to rush into defining anything. Enjoy yourself. You deserve it.”

But it had felt like more, so much more than just a fling. Mentally scowling, he scolds himself for overthinking it already. It hadn’t even been 24 hours and he is already running circles in his mind. Pushing those thoughts aside he decides to change the topic to Eskild and his latest hookup and off of himself. He does have another fifteen minutes or so to kill before Even arrives anyways.

Just a moment after they finish the call, the doorbell finally rings. Isak’s heart immediately leaps against his ribcage, his body following, rushing towards the door. He unlocks it and swings it open in one swift motion to find Even standing there, looking just as perfect as he had last night.

“Can I come in? It’s slightly chilly out here.” Even laughs slightly nervous when Isak still hasn’t budged, eyes roaming over every part of him.

“Oh sorry!” Isak steps aside and notices that Even is only in a sweater, no coat anywhere to be seen.

“What are you doing out without your coat?” He asks bewildered, cringing at the mom-like tone. Definitely not attractive.

But Even only smiles, a blush working its way across his cheeks. “I didn’t want to waste time layering and de-layering. Plus I figured since you were here, I wouldn’t be cold for long.”

“A little presumptuous, don’t you think?” Isak grins widely. Happy that they really are still on the same page, completely smitten with each other. So he does what he’s been wanting to since first waking up and pulls Even close to greet him the way he’s been dying to do. If only to reassure him that last night really was perfect. Except this time around it is all teeth, their lips too taught from smiling until they are finally reduced to laughter.

But Isak is determined, he has an experiment to repeat and so he goes in once more and this time neither of them is laughing.

“That was a lot friendlier of a welcome than I was expecting.” Even laughs breathlessly when they pull apart, forehead pressed against Isak’s, both sharing the same air.

“And what kind of welcome were you expecting?” Isak asks, eyes meeting.

“Nothing” Even tucks Isak’s hair behind his ear “hoping however, that’s a whole different story.”

“So what’s the plan for today?” Even asks after they still haven’t moved from their spot in the entry way. Lips playfully pecking at Isak’s upper lip and then his lower lip.

“I was-” Isak cuts off when his lips catch Even’s, opening up to him, losing his train of thought completely.

“I was thinking about dealing with a bunch of the boxes in the basement, if you’re okay to help?” Isak finally manages to get his thoughts back on track, voice still shaky.

“Absolutely” Even says immediately offering to be there for Isak. Just like he had done so many times in the short period Isak has been here.

 _This has to be more than a fling_ the little voice in the back of Isak’s mind says and Isak agrees. It has to be. Especially after last night when they couldn’t get enough of each other. Where even the cold wasn’t enough to stop them for the longest time. They certainly didn’t have any issues with resuming from right where they left off.

“After all,” Even continues, eyes gleaming playfully “you’ll probably need me there to protect you.”

“Protect me? From what?” Isak asks faking offense.

“The dark.” Even places a chaste kiss on the right corner of his mouth. Isak has to admit, the basement _was_ a little spooky sometimes and the lights didn’t work half the time.

“Spiders.” A kiss on the left corner. That one is self-explanatory as far as he is concerned.

“Spider webs.” The tip of his nose. They do deserve their own whole category.

“The shadows.” The spot between his brows. There was that year when the stupid santa doll was casting the most ominous of shadows, causing Isak to almost drop what he was carrying.

“From going through those memories on your own.” His lips.

Isak sighs happily and pulls Even flush against himself. They should probably talk about this at some point. They should probably also get to work while there was still daylight around. But this right here feels nice, it feels right and for now everything else can wait. For now they still have time.

So Isak starts to guide them towards the living room. More specifically, the couch. Their kiss never ending except when he pushes Even to lie down, placing himself on top between Even’s legs which wrap tightly around him before they are right back at it.

They keep going back and forth from needy and feverish to slow and lazy, trying to calm themselves every time they get a little too carried away. Neither of them in a rush. Although Isak will be very surprised if he manages to make it out of this without a telltale stain painting the front oh his sweats. But it’s only him and Even he reminds himself and all feelings of self-consciousness go right out the window.

His gaze travels from Even’s eyes to his lips. His pupils blown so wide Isak can barely see the irises surrounding them and his lips red and swollen from Isak’s non-stop attack on them. Yes, this is exactly what he wants. And he wants to keep it.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I promise they will be more productive next chapter. 
> 
> I need to take about 2-3 days to focus on a few other things so I will just take a quick break from posting. But I will have the next chapter up no later than Thursday and then I should be back on my regular schedule.
> 
> I have also decided to add a few more chapters to this story than I was originally planning to write so I need to rework some of my outline which I hope to do during those couple of days as well.
> 
> Thank you again for being such a kind crowd <3


	17. Chapter 17

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> As always, thank you so much for taking the time to read this story and all of your lovely comments and kudos. They really do make me smile every time <3

“Here take this” Isak grunts passing an overstuffed box down to Even from his spot on the stepladder. Not that he necessarily needed it for height, but his mother was notorious for overpacking and he didn’t want to try to lift it above his head and possibly end up with a concussion or worse.

“Jeez” Even lets out once the full weight of the box is in his arms before placing it on a nearby chair “how did anyone even manage to get it up there?” 

“They didn’t” Isak says stepping down and opening up the flaps “mamma liked to put the boxes on the shelves empty and then fill them” he shrugs “not exactly practical, but I’ve never had to take them down before, so I never minded much.”

It may have taken a herculean effort to tear them both apart and to get them off the couch, but many “only one more” kisses later, they finally did. The two of them having already gotten through a whole wall of boxes within the past hour and a half. The fact that they could resume right where they left off may have lent some incentive to getting their work done as fast as possible, not that they kept to themselves completely. And why would they.

Every time they passed each other it was a hand brushed along the arm or around the waist. Whenever they handed something off to the other it was lingering glances and holding each other’s hand longer than necessary. And when Isak would relay a memory, it was Even’s arms wrapped around him.

“What’s even in there?” Even asks bewildered.

“Memories” Isak grins remembering his mother’s words as he starts to take the items out of the box before the corners of his mouth turn down to form a frown.

“What are those?” Even asks instantly noticing the change in Isak’s demeanor. 

“Some of my dad’s belongings.” Isak says slowly, still not believing that he is seeing them again after all this time. How long had it been since he saw anything that reminded him of his dad? Six years? Maybe a bit more than that?

“Whatever did happen to your dad?” Even asks hesitantly looking at the children’s drawing in Isak’s hands “Marianne never spoke about him, I’ve seen him in the earlier pictures, but then after that it’s just like he disappeared from all your pictures one day.”

And their lives, Isak smiles sadly. It was an old wound by now, it didn’t hurt nearly as much as it once had. But that doesn’t mean it was somehow transformed into a pleasant or neutral memory. There were always two sides warring within him. One that couldn’t blame his father for deciding it was too much and leaving what was an unhealthy situation for all three of them at the time. The other side could never understand how he could leave someone he had claimed to love and the fact that he could abandon his child without looking back. 

He used to compare himself to his father for years, thinking that they were the same, because after all they did both abandon his mother didn’t they. It took a lot, but eventually Isak did realize that the two were not the same. Because his father had an obligation to his family, at the very least his son. But Isak was thrust into a situation where he was powerless and given far more than anyone at that age should have been expected to handle. Maybe they did both leave, but it wasn’t the same.

“That’s pretty much what happened” running his thumb over the edge of a drawing that he had made for his dad when he must have been no more than five for father’s day. An item he hadn’t bothered to take with him.

“When mamma started having more and more episodes, he couldn’t take it anymore he said. He wanted things to go back to how they were and she wasn’t ready for treatment at that point. So one day he just left.” Isak takes a deep breath as the memories flood over him again. And just like that, he’s 15 again, walking home from school and watching it all unfold in front of him.

“I came home early that day and I saw him packing up the car. I think I must have been expecting it at that point, because I don’t remember being surprised. They had been fighting so much by then and every time she had an episode, he would just leave. He tried to talk to me, I think.” Isak pauses when Even lays a hand on his back, rubbing along his spine in small circles.

“I didn’t want to hear what he said, so I just went inside to look for mamma. She was there, cleaning the kitchen with bleach. The smell was so strong my eyes watered, I remember. None of the windows were open. And when she saw me, she just stopped what she was doing and broke down, telling me she was so sorry for everything and then I just stayed with her until I could finally get her to bed.”

Much like Isak had done for Even when he was sharing his story, Even stands there next to him silently, listening. Comforting Isak with his gentle touches and murmured reassurances, letting him know that he is there.

Finally Isak shrugs “in the end he left her the house, like that absolved him of all responsibilities, and never came back.”

“Did he know about her funeral?” Even asks “I don’t think I saw him there.”

“Maybe, I don’t know.” Isak answers truthfully “I sent him a text to the last number I knew for him. I couldn’t really bring myself to call. I don’t know what would have been worse, hearing his voice for the first time in so many years or finding out the number was no longer in service.” 

Even wraps his arm around Isak’s shoulders and runs a hand down his arm in comfort.

Eventually Isak moves “Can you go through that box and put all clothing into the donation pile and just throw out the rest?”

“Are you sure?” Even looks to him for confirmation. 

Isak nods firmly “I made my peace with it a long time ago, he doesn’t get to reopen those wounds without even being here.”

“Okay, whatever you need.” He’s once again enveloped in one of Even’s wonderful hugs. The ones that comfort him, ones that already manage to bring a smile to his face. Ones that feel like he was always meant to end up there.

“Thanks” he mumbles into Even’s shoulder. 

They end up working right up until the sun sets, two hours later. Proud of their progress and neat piles laid out for items he’s keeping, donating, or throwing out. Isak glances towards the donation and garbage piles and he’s incredibly thankful to have Even at his side to help him relive memory after memory and then later part with them.

“Stay for dinner?” Isak asks after they have shut off the lights downstairs and come back up, not quite ready to give up Even’s company.

“Oh? And what are we having” Even looks to him amused.

“There is a Grandiosa in the freezer” but Isak stops that train of thought when he sees Even’s grimace, obviously not one to appreciate the novelty. “Or whatever we prepare...together?” Isak tries instead, not quite wanting to prove to Even how true his hopeless in the kitchen comment really was. Though if he was lucky, Even would see that flaw more as endearing than frustrating.

“Sounds perfect to me. What do you have in mind?” Even absently runs a hand through Isak’s hair.

“Maybe something that uses most of what’s in the fridge. I think it’s about to go off since someone can’t resist providing me a full blown meals on wheels service. Or on two legs I guess” Isak pokes Even in the side, causing the older of the two to squirm before capturing Isak in his arms.

“Oh so now I’m spoiling you am I? Should I cut back then?” Even’s lips ghost over Isak’s. Maybe dinner can wait after all.

“No, don’t ever cut back.” And Isak goes right in for the kiss, getting lost in just how damn natural this feels. How right, like Even had been saving a spot for him all along, waiting. Thinking of how Even had been kept up to date on everything happening in Isak’s life and silently rooting for him, he can’t help but wonder if that isn’t actually the case. And if it is, how lucky must Isak be to have finally found someone so special.


	18. Chapter 18

“I still have no idea what to get him.” Isak hates being that person talking on the phone in a store, but he’s sure an exception can be made for this occasion. He had decided to call Eva in hopes to keep him from panicking over getting the appropriate Christmas present for Even, but apparently even Eva wasn’t enough to keep him from overthinking this.

“What says I only recently met you and I know it’s been fast, but you’re already one of the best things to ever happen to me?” Isak absently runs a hand over some of the folded up woolen sweaters. No, clothing is definitely out of the question.

“You sure you don’t want something that says let’s get a cabin together, get married and have five kids instead?” Eva teases, being her usual helpful self. Maybe Eskild would have been a better option.

“I don’t want to scare him away.” Isak grumbles looking at all of the displays of gift ideas and feeling disappointment at the fact that none of them call to him. “Also who even has that many children nowadays.”

“I will take note of the fact that the number of kids is your only real objection. But Isak, it sounds like he knows you just as well as we do and for just about as long as we have, I don’t think scaring him away should be something you need to worry about.” Eva says over the sound of someone furiously typing on a keyboard.

“What are you typing? You’re on lunch, why are you working?” He asks coming to a sudden stop in the middle of an aisle. What about stationary? That’s always an appreciated gift, he considers as he’s flipping through journal after journal. But still impersonal, he places it back down with a sigh, focusing on Eva again.

“It’s just a couple of emails” Eva responds “I’m trying to show initiative and commitment.”

“You can do all of that without giving up your own time.” He’s know Eva too well and somewhere along the way in University she had developed this need to go above and beyond what’s expected of her in the search of positive reinforcement. Unfortunately it didn’t always work in her best interest.

“It’s just a few minutes here and there” she dismisses, obviously not wanting to talk about it further.

“Well don’t start making a habit out of it, you have to look after yourself” he says, his concern for his friend real.

Eva laughs “that coming from you?” she teases “if I’m bad at looking after myself, you’re ten times worse. You don’t know when to stop.”

Isak sighs “okay so we’re both pretty bad. I guess that’s why we have Jonas.” He smiles, unlike the two of them, Jonas was a firm believer of only doing the work required of him. Granted he did always put his best effort forward and it showed, but the concept of staying late or trying to go out of his way just to impress his bosses was foreign to him.

“Too true” Eva agrees. He had lectured them both into submission on the subject many a times.

“It’ll feel weird having Christmas without you tomorrow.” Eva says after a while.

Tomorrow. How could Christmas eve be that soon already and how could his time there have flown by so quickly? It’s been two weeks, but it feels like no time at all. Well he knows exactly how, and part of the reason was why he is out here trying to find the elusive perfect gift. Although with each moment, his hopes of doing so were getting smaller and smaller.

“I won’t be on my own” he reassures her, eyeing a display of movies. He doesn’t remember ever having gifted a physical copy of a movie.

“I know, I heard, and I do want details after, but still. You’re my family.”

“You’re my family too” he replies with a fond smile. Eva was the sister he never had and more importantly, she was forgiving, like family. Standing by him even after he had admitted to trying to ruin her relationship with Jonas their first year and coming out to her as a result, feeling so afraid. Afraid of what she would think of him. Afraid of losing one of his oldest friends. He had expected her to hate him, but instead she held him.

“So what are your plans after Christmas?” Eva asks quietly when they haven’t gotten any farther on the gift front twenty minutes later.

“What do you mean?” Isak puts down the watch he was looking at. He could find ten more gifts for each of his friends in here easily, but when it came to Even, his mind kept going blank.

“Have you guys talked about what will happen when you come back home?” Sounding just as quiet as before. As if she didn’t want to disrupt Isak’s

“It hasn’t come up. I don’t think there’s been time. But I’m trying to focus on the now” Isak admits.

“Are you worried?” Eva asks, concern in her voice.

“Honestly? No. I know it’s strange, but for some reason I know it’ll all work out for the best. I don’t know what that is right now, but I can just picture everything with him so vividly. It’s just been so natural between us, like we’re both in the right place at the right time in our lives.” The sound of his words feeling a lot like gushing even to his own ears.

“Good, I’m glad. You deserve nothing less, Isak.” He can hear the smile in her voice.

“Have you finished all of your presents yet?” Giving up on his own quest, he changes the topic off himself.

“Uhh yeah a month ago. When have I ever left presents to the last minute?” She sounds downright offended just at the thought “I even have your present, I’ll just have to give you yours when you get back.”

“Sounds like a plan.”

“Okay, my hour is up. But good luck, you’ll find the perfect thing for him. You’re one of the most thoughtful gift givers I know. Merry Christmas if I don’t get to talk to you tomorrow, but you better still call.”

“No worries, Eva. Talk to you later. Merry Christmas”

Defeated, he leaves the store. No matter what he had looked at, nothing felt right, nothing felt perfect. Nothing could describe how he felt. How could he possibly find something to Even that said all the things he felt and thanked him for being there without Isak even being aware of it? And just like that Isak has the perfect idea and rushes back to the house.

Even <3

Come over for a movie night tonight?

Sure, I’m all set to defend my favorite movies  
I’m even ready to get physical if necessary

Well with a promise like that, I can’t go down without a fight

I hope not ;)

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I've got this Halloween one shot idea kicking around in my head that keeps vying for my attention and I want to get it out so I can finally focus on the Christmas chapters completely. 
> 
> So I will try to get that done by tomorrow and that way I can focus on this story fully again. Otherwise I will post the next chapter for this story on Sunday <3


	19. Chapter 19

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> You all are so incredibly kind and sweet and I thank you all again for reading <3

“What are you trying to do?” Even asks, looking halfway between amused and confused.

“Just lie down on your stomach and prop your upper body up on your elbows and forearms.” Isak instructs, trying to keep the laughter out of his voice as he sets up the timer on his phone, angling it to point at the spot he’s asking Even to lie in.

“You know, the couch would be much comfier for this. Probably a lot less complicated too.” Even says, but does as he’s told and lies down on the floor.

“Here, now wrap your arm around me” Isak tells him as he lies down next to Even.

“There are easier ways to get me to cuddle you, Isak.” Even says all the while wrapping an arm tightly around Isak, squeezing him lightly.

“I’m very well aware but that’s not what I’m trying to do. At least not right now.” Isak looks back one last time to make sure they’re in the right position.

“Okay perfect, now look forward and hold still.” Hopefully they can get this done in one take.

“Oh my god” Even lets out slowly as if it’s just dawning on him, tilting to his side slightly “are you trying to get a picture of my ass?”

“What?” Isak looks back at him wide eyed. The thought hadn’t even entered his mind, but now that he considers it, he can see why Even would come to that conclusion.

“You so are!” Even laughs, wiggling around.

“That’s not what I’m trying to do, now just hold still, will you?” He tries to put his hand on Even’s lower back to still him, but without looking in that direction, his hand ends up much lower than that.

The flash goes off before he has a chance to pull his hand back.

Naturally his previous hand placement doesn’t go unnoticed by Even who can’t keep it together anymore.

“This has easily got to be the weirdest thing anyone has ever asked me to do,” he manages through laughter filled eyes.

Isak doesn’t doubt it, it’s easily the strangest thing he has asked anyone to do. Especially for a Christmas present.

“Even! I’m trying to be thoughtful here!” Isak stands up, trying to raise his voice, but unfortunately it’s not so easy to do when he’s also overcome with the urge to laugh at the ridiculousness of this whole situation. He was simply trying to be sentimental, to get Even the perfect gift without giving it away. Instead he’s pretty sure he’s looking like some creep trying to get pictures of Even posing in strange ways for his secret collection.

He looks at the picture saved on his phone and sure enough, his hand is still in the shot. _Merry Christmas, look I’m groping your ass_ isn’t exactly the aesthetic he is going for here.

“Okay one more time, and this time keep still.” They had been at this for easily 15 minutes.

It takes them two more takes, but Isak does finally get the picture he’s after. At least he’ll be able to give his present to Even the next day and won’t have to look like a creep for too long.

“So, you got the perfect picture of my rear?” Even teases standing up and walking next to Isak when he makes a satisfied sound.

“Uh yup” Isak locks his screen before Even has a chance to look at it. He hadn’t clued in so far from the pose and Isak wants to keep it a surprise if he can. Though he’s now fully aware that this could not make him look worse if he tried.

But Even takes it in stride and shrugs, placing a kiss on Isak’s cheek instead. He’s not sure what should concern him more, his own actions or the fact that Even is so nonchalant about it.

“What time do you want me over tomorrow?” Isak asks forcing his mind and the conversation to go in a different direction.

“Mamma said you’re welcome to come over the moment you wake up.” Even shrugs, resting a hand on Isak’s shoulder.

“Okay well I have to run a quick errand in the morning but after that I’m good to go.” Going out to the stores the day of Christmas eve isn’t exactly his idea of fun, but he has to finish Even’s gift. And to call everyone in the morning still, he reminds himself.

“Great, I’ll let her know. Word of caution though, you’ll probably be put to work. It’s one of the perils of being seen as family.” The word bringing warmth into Isak’s heart.

“I think I’ll be able to manage. By the way do your parents know about…” Isak trails off, unsure if he is forcing too much on Even. It’s one thing to already know his parents so well, but to then basically be asking him to throw a label on whatever it is that is happening between the two?

“This?” Even supplies, resting his forehead against Isak’s “yeah. I mean, they don’t know the details” he pulls back a little just so he can wag his right eyebrow at Isak suggestively, earning him an exaggerated eyeroll. “But, they do know about us being together. To be honest, they thought it was going on for a bit longer than it has.”

Isak tries to reassure himself with the fact that he’s already met Even’s parents and gotten along with them just great. Naturally there should be nothing for him to worry about, but that doesn’t stop him from doing so anyways. After all, he is sure it would be far more awkward if they’d spend Christmas dinner pretending they weren’t together.

But there are three words that stand out to Isak the most and he can’t stop himself from asking. “So we are then? Together I mean?”

“Yeah” Even smiles tenderly back at him, a hand running through this hair, massaging his scalp and effectively relaxing him “we’re together, you and me.”

Somewhere in the back of Isak’s mind there are follow up questions floating around. What happens after he goes back? When will they see each other again after he leaves? Are they going to still be together? Will they be strong enough to last?

But those can all wait, he decides. At least until after Christmas. For now he simply wants to spend time with the man he’s falling for so deeply that it should scare him. But he’s never felt that way about anyone else before and instead he takes comfort in his growing feelings for Even.

With his mind temporarily at ease, he focuses on other more pressing matters. Such as the matter of Even pressing right up against Isak, their midriffs perfectly aligned. At some point they were going to have to thoroughly speed the pace they were going at up. Because there is only so much adjusting and so many solo sessions he can take. Each time only leaving him drained and craving the real thing with Even.

“Let’s take what we started on the floor and move it to the couch.” Isak whispers, lips touching Even’s earlobe as each word is formed.

“You want me face down on the couch?” Even asks and Isak knows they may be talking about something more innocent, but their thoughts are running wild into a different direction.

Isak thinks for a minute, there were a few positions he’s been wanting him in and that is one of them a smirk forms on his face at the thought. For this evening, however, he has slightly different plans in mind. “Yeah, but with me underneath you.”

Isak guides them both to the couch that has almost started to become Isak’s favourite place after all the times they have ended up on it.

With the TV still dark and neither inclined to change that at the moment, Isak pulls Even down on top of himself.

“I thought I was brought here with the promise of watching a movie tonight.” Even adjusts himself so his elbows are resting on each side of Isak’s chest, lying between Isak’s legs

“And I was promised it would get physical” Isak shoots back very aware of Even’s body.

“Ah so that was foreplay with the pictures earlier.” Even beams, earning him a light swat on the rear.

Isak marvels in how easy and natural it all feels every time. The two of them still have time, he tells himself. There is still time.

“I already like where this is heading” Even winks and dips his head down to resume what he had started.

At what is probably the most inappropriate time, it dawns on Isak. That this is the happiest he has felt being back at the house. And every time Even had stopped by, brought something over, left the cushions and blankets in the wrong spot, or put the cups away into the plate cupboard because it just makes more sense for the cups to go there, he had effectively transformed the house a little more each time. If anyone could help him make this place feel like a home again, it was Even. And he had just the plan to enlist his help on.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> A little bit of silliness between the two this chapter.  
> I also just realized that last paragraph may almost sound like an ending to the full story, but I swear it's not <3


	20. Chapter 20

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> It's FINALLY Christmas time after all that wait <3  
> Thank you again just so so much for the lovely comments and the kudos. It makes my day to know you're enjoying the story.

The moment the front door opens, he’s enveloped in a hug so surprisingly tight he almost drops the bag of presents he was carrying.

“Isak, dear boy, merry christmas!” Inger exclaims into his chest before she lets go and ushers him inside, holding her hands out for his coat.

“And a merry Christmas to you, Inger.” Smiling he hands her the coat after stuffing his mittens into the pockets and scarf and hat into the arm sleeve.

The inside of the house had been transformed into a Christmas wonderland, complete with Christmas tree, snowflakes hanging from the ceiling, a few nisse some in red and some in blue, pine cones, wreaths, and garland giving the house an earthy distinctively Christmas smell.

“Will you look at you, so handsome. I can’t wait to see Even’s jaw drop, and it will, when he sees you.” To his surprise and embarrassment she actually winks at him. He put in an effort getting dressed today, just as he had always been taught by his mother. It had been a tough start to the day all around, missing her. He spent it reminiscing on their Christmases together and how she would always go out of her way to make it special. But when it got too hard to keep going he called his friends to share his holiday wishes with them and to lighten his heart.

Remembering the bag in his hand and to distract himself from the blush no doubt forming on his face, he holds it out to her. “I brought a little something for you and Daniel. Between taking care of the house, being so kind to me, and inviting me here tonight, I just wanted to say thank you. I know it’s not much compared to all that you’ve done...”

“You are just the sweetest and kindest young man, you are always welcome here, it is absolutely no fuss for us to help you look after the house. Thank you, you really didn’t have to, but here, let me put them down by the tree,” she says taking it from him.

“Now Come on, we’ve got loads to do. I have already sent Even and Daniel out on an errand. So you can come help me in the kitchen.”

“Oh, umm...” Great, the first Christmas he was spending with them and he was about to ruin it.

“Don’t look so frightened,” she chuckles “Even told me to keep you away from anything critical. You can peel the potatoes and then the turnips while I work on the roast. I’ll take care of the rest later.”

“Sure” he says feeling slightly more confident and follows her to the kitchen. Just like the living room, there are decorations to be found all around, with plates of various home baked cookies on both the kitchen table and the counters. The TV playing the usual holiday favorites in the background.

“Just roll up your sleeves and take one of my aprons hanging from the back of the door so we don’t get your clothes dirty.” Inger instructs, pointing him to the sink filled halfway with water, covering the unpeeled potatoes. Next to it an empty bowl and a pot filled with water as well.

Doing as he’s told, he rolls up the sleeves of his burgundy dress shirt puts his head through the apron's neck strap and secures it tightly at his back. The moment he picks up the peeler, Inger smiles his way.

“Did you know that before I retired, Marianne would come over every year and help me prepare the food for my work Christmas party? Think that whole sink full of potatoes and a roast twice this size.” She looks out the window, nostalgia crinkling her face in a wide smile.

“We would have so much fun, your mother and I, we’d sometimes even gossip about the neighbours and bet which of our coworkers would end up having a little lover’s tryst that holiday.” she confesses, mischievously.

And he could picture her here in this house giggling with Inger, scandalously whispering to one another despite probably being the only ones in the house. The image brings a wide grin to his face.

“And you know what I would do when we got a little bored? I would wait until Daniel came into the room and start a good old discussion about Marianne’s favourite Christmas soda. That would get him going right that moment. Those two were so set on their own favourites, that it would result in easily an hour of entertainment for me.” She tips her head back and laughs.

“ _It tastes of fruit and champagne! It’s not supposed to be like that. It’s traditional for a reason_.” She puts on a deep voice that he can only assume is supposed to be Daniel as she throws the roast back into the oven with a giggle.

“It was never boring with her around.” Inger finishes with a happy sigh.

Isak can definitely picture the two of them getting up to the described mischief and it makes his heart soar to know that she didn’t miss out on any fun with her.

Inger and Isak continue to share stories of the holidays, Isak fondly sharing the memories he made with Eva, Jonas, and Eskild, and Inger giving him tale after tale from Even’s childhood.

They finish their tasks just as the king embraces his daughter, the long lost princess and to see the return of the Christmas star on the television. Right on time for Daniel and Even to return.

“We’ve got firewood, mamma” Even calls down the hall and even just the sound of his voice is enough to make Isak’s stomach do a little flip and for his cheeks to warm.

Inger raises her eyebrows teasingly at him to let him know she didn’t miss any of that.

“Good, it can go in the living room please.” She calls back, the two men still at the entrance.

“It was horrific out there, way too many people.” Daniel complains, the sound of his voice coming closer after the sound of two pairs of heavy shoes hitting the ground.

“Pappa’s officially not allowed to drive during the holidays anymore.” Even sets the firewood down next to the fireplace and joins them in the kitchen.

“It’s not me, other people are driving like maniacs.” Daniel shakes his head, placing a kiss on top of Inger’s head.

“I’m not sure all of your maneuvers would be considered legal, pappa.” Even playfully scolds and goes straight for Isak who still hasn’t moved from his spot at the counter to give him a brief kiss on the lips.

“Hi” he mumbles, bumping Isak’s nose with his own.

“Hi” Isak whispers back.

“You look _really_ hot by the way” Even tells him quietly.

“Yeah, the apron really pulls it all together.” he returns, forgetting their audience completely until Even pulls away and moves to stand against the counter with him, arm around his back.

They’re not faced with Inger and Daniel staring at them, but only because they are too busy sharing knowing looks with one another. Isak’s not sure he necessarily wants to know what exactly they are wordlessly saying to one another, but he has a good idea.

With nothing else left to do and the table already set, they spend the day sharing more stories and playing card games while Christmas favourites continue to run in the background, foregoing the singing tradition as there are no children around. And only occasionally stopping when one of them points out a personal favourite scene of theirs until the church bells start to ring in the distance signalling the official start of the holiday and time for Christmas dinner.

Like all Christmas dinners, it’s a long and involved affair, but it’s one Isak gladly participates in. The table filled with more food than any of them could hope to eat, drinks flowing freely, and a lack of laughter nowhere to be found. Sat next to Even, their knees pressed up against each other, there’s nowhere else Isak would rather be.

Hours later, after dinner is over they all pitch in to make quick work of the dirty dishes and to pack all leftovers away. Inger, true to her motherly nature sets about half the dinner aside for Isak to take home later that night despite his protests that it could feed half an army and he was only one person.

“Considering the amount of time Even spends over there, you’re two people.” She shoots back, effectively quieting any further protests out of Isak.

“Great,” she grins when she is met with no further push back “now, what do you say we finally open up presents, then we can have coffee later.”

Isak wonders if he should he give Even his gift now or later when it’s just the two of them, but Even answers the question for him when he leans over and says “I’ve got a present for you later” with a wink.

Between the presents, more chatter, more games, and the late night coffee, later ends up being three more hours later, when they’re finally alone together in the entryway, Even seeing Isak off.

“Here” Even pulls out a A4 paper sized envelope and hands it to Isak who carefully opens it up.

His breath catches when he pulls the page out. It’s a still life drawing of him asleep on top of Even. He his eyes travel back to Even’s face who’s looking at him nervously.

“I wasn’t quite sure what would be appropriate.” Even moves from one foot to the other.

“It’s beautiful. It’s perfect, thank you.” Isak smiles moving in for a kiss. And it really is both of those. To see himself through Even’s eyes is not something he ever expected to be able to do and is a gift in itself.

“How did you manage to draw it?” He asks curiously.

“I snapped a picture of us when you fell asleep.” Even shrugs sheepishly as if slightly embarrassed to admit to it.

Isak laughs “so I’m not the only one of us taking weird pictures” he teases, nudging Even’s shoulder playfully.

“Hmm, I’d still rank yours higher.” Even concludes after pretending to think on it for a moment.

“Fine, I guess I’ll just have to keep your present then.” Isak fakes a resigned sigh.

“Wait, wait that was part of it?” Even looks to him confused.

“Well open it and find out.” Isak hands him the wrapped present.

Accepting it, Even takes off the wrapping to reveal the frame. Inside is a black background with two pictures, one on top of the other with a gap between them for two words. Both pictures are of the exact same pose, both of them lying next to each other on their stomachs, looking away from the camera, Even’s arm wrapped around Isak. Except the top is of them as children and the bottom of them just last night.

The two words in between are simple, _Thank You_ , because Isak could never write out all of the things he’s thankful for. It’s a _thank you_ for being there for him all this time even if Isak was unaware, a _thank you_ for being there for Isak’s mother. A _thank you_ for coming outside that first day Isak had returned, a _thank you_ for being there, for helping him heal, for helping him move on. A _thank you_ that Isak had finally found him.

And from the awe in Even’s eyes he knows that Even is seeing the same unwritten words his heart is saying.

Putting the frame down on the shelf standing next to them, Even puts a hand on each side of Isak’s face to pull him in. The kiss that ensues is deep, full of meaning and full of love. It only continues to get deeper as Even’s hands move down along Isak’s back to pull him closer. Both wanting, needing to occupy the same space as the other, forgetting where they are completely.

It’s Isak who remembers first and slowly, reluctantly pulls back. The kiss was just a beginning, a promise of more to come and ending it almost felt wrong. But having Even’s parents walk in on them grinding against each other didn’t seem like a viable alternative either.

“Last night makes so much more sense now” Even laughs breathlessly pulling Isak tight against him once more, his head resting on Isak’s shoulder, kissing the skin that his mouth can reach.

Once again it’s Isak that pulls away because his mind is already three steps ahead. From the look alone in Even’s eyes, he knows that just like him, Even isn’t ready to end the night either. So instead of going in for that last goodnight kiss, he takes Even’s hand, tugging him into the direction of the door, a single question playing in Isak’s eyes.


	21. Chapter 21

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I'm so sorry for making you guys wait, it was completely unintentional. Things just got a little hectic and when I could find the time to write, I was struggling with the words. My next few updates are probably going to be a bit sporadic again, but I am still aiming for 2-3 times a week. 
> 
> Thank you for all the lovely comments and kudos <3 It made my week to hear you guys enjoying the Christmas eve chapter.  
> Here's Christmas eve continued.

Isak’s first and only boyfriend was a slender man, no taller than himself and five years his senior. They had met his first year when Isak was a student at the University of Oslo and the other a teacher’s assistant, working on his graduate degree.

Things had been going well with his mother for a while at that point and his life was beginning to take shape in ways he had only ever dreamed of. So why, he figured, shouldn’t he finally get everything else too? The real first love he missed out on in his earlier school years. That bond that he had watched develop between his two best friends, all the while trying to stifle the jealousy that would creep in when he’d least expected it. And more importantly, someone to just be with. Someone who understood.

Isak was immediately taken with the young man. He was conventionally handsome, sure, but that wasn’t what had pulled Isak to him. It was his achievements. His double major in astronomy and physics, his summer studying abroad at Oxford, even having an article published in Illustrert Vitenskap. Both naturally confident and quick to respond, he was everything Isak wanted to be and he fell in love with him almost instantly.

Although much to his friends’ dismay, the older was also reserved in his affections, but that never bothered Isak, because he understood reserved. Acting reserved was safe, it’s what had gotten Isak through many years. What the two of them had was different, maybe it wasn’t the public open affection that Eva and Jonas had shared over the years, but it was still everything Isak had only ever dreamed of.

They spent what free time they had together, quietly whispering their dreams and grand plans to one another late into the night. But never once mentioning how neither of their dreams and plans had ever evolved to include the other.

And maybe Isak did have an inkling early on that it was a temporary arrangement at best, both of them too success driven and neither willing to sacrifice. And just maybe that little voice in the back of Isak’s head never went away, that voice telling him he wasn’t worth the sacrifice to begin with, that he wouldn’t be enough to make someone stay.

So it shouldn’t have come as a surprise that when it came time to choose between Isak and furthering his own career and studies, the latter had won out. Isak didn’t think he would have chosen any different in that position himself.

Looking back at it now when he knows better, maybe he was only in love with the idea of finally being in love and having someone to share everyday life with at the time. A time when he was still trying to heal and move on from the pain in his younger years, when love had been so absent. When he needed someone there to hold him and reassure him everything would be alright. At a time when he was trying to find his place in the world, knowing that his only way ahead was to rely on himself. A time when he didn’t know just how deep real love could feel.

But it didn’t make his first heartbreak any less real or quiet that nasty little voice that followed him into every relationship and hookup since. For a period almost all of his free time was spent going out on a date with some new man. Searching for something he could never find back then. Although he had felt a connection with some and even genuinely liked a few of those men, but none compared to Even. Nothing and no one has ever made him feel like Even.

Even who is looking at him now like he’s the only other person in the world that matters. And the answer to his silent question comes in the form of a small grin, one that Isak knows Even reserved for only him. Before he knows it they are both putting their outdoor clothes on without ever saying a word, never once taking their eyes off one another. Barely even managing to remember to grab his gift and the container of leftovers, before heading outside and directly next door.

As soon as they’re indoors and the door clicks shut, their belongings find their way on to the floor, piled into a heap within moments. Free of their shoes and coats, Even’s hands are on his shoulders once more. This time, with no one around to interrupt them, Isak doesn’t hold back. He kisses Even back with equal intensity, continuing where they had left off. Hands roaming awkwardly over the other, too many layers remaining between them.

“You can’t even imagine how good you look right now” Even whispers awed between kisses as he brings hands behind Isak, pressing him flush against him and Isak can’t remember there being a time where he had felt this...just...this. Certain, cared for, safe, and cherished.

Isak pulls back, needing to see if Even’s expression matches his voice only to find an expression of wonder on his face. His eyes regarding Isak as if he were the most precious person to him. And everything he feels is multiplied just that much more.

“If it’s even half as good as you-” Isak doesn’t finish his thought, he can’t, the look on Even’s face turned heated and intense now, prompting Isak to pull him in for another kiss. Hands tangle in Even’s hair a little too tightly pulling a moan out of him.

Not wanting to end up naked in the entryway, because that is ultimately where they are heading, he nudges Even towards the stairs, the other pouting at having to move from their current position.

“Either we make it up those stairs or we’ll end up right on them.” Isak’s hands roam along Even’s waistband for emphasis.

“That’s okay, I’ll gladly put up with a sore back for this.” Even looks to him mischievously as a single finger runs down Isak’s chest and right to where he needs to feel him the most. It’s just a simple light stroke, but it is one that shuts down Isak’s brain momentarily and when it starts up again, he urgently jumps into action.

The trip to his room a blur, because all he can focus on is Even. All he wants to focus on is Even. He may have accidentally shoved Even along a few times in the process, needing to make it to the bed much quicker than Even had intended, drawing a couple of laughs out of the older man. Their destination in sight, he eases off, hands roaming over the other desperately, clothes being pulled off in every direction as soon as they cross the threshold into the room.

Isak exhales harshly when skin finally touches skin arms looping between Even’s and his hands resting on the older man’s shoulders, pulling him in, desperately needing to feel him closer yet. Both clinging to the other. Afraid of letting go now that they finally found their way to each other.

“Please don’t stop” Isak moans when Even’s hand starts to move downwards between them again, his head following. Kissing neck, shoulder, chest, and lower still. The only thing Isak can think to do is to watch the beautiful man kneeling in front of him. He who had changed his life without even knowing it, with his just as breathtaking film. Who had been so caring towards Isak, been there for him without a single complaint, waiting for him.

How long exactly had Even been waiting for him if even subconsciously? The thoughts continue to rush through his mind until Even takes notice, a particularly strong sucking sensation and determined lick wiping all thoughts from his brain.

Lost in only the feel of Even on him until even that gets to be too much and the words he’s still not sure he’s ready to say out loud begin to bubble to the top. Too soon, a small part of his brain, barely functioning, manages. Suddenly overcome with the urgent need to feel all of Even against him, regardless of how pleasant the current sensation may be, Isak pulls back slightly, the distance slowly driving him mad.

“I need to hold you.” Isak confesses in response to Even’s questioning look, no sense of shyness present. There’s no need for it, because he’s with Even.

Understanding dawning in Even’s eyes, Isak pulls him up and moves them onto the bed. Even lying on top of him now, propped up on his knees and elbows.

“What do you need” Even breathes into the quiet of the night, the only sounds are the rustling of the sheets and their ragged breaths. Ready to fulfill whatever Isak asks for.

But Isak has different plans, wanting to make Even feel as good as he had made him feel, make him feel as cherished as he has been making Isak feel all night. He knows what he needs.

“You. I only need you” he whispers, tugging him down and grasping his hand around the both of them. Even steadies himself, almost collapsing on top Isak at the sensation, his head buried in the crook of Isak’s neck. Isak grins, satisfied, as he manages to drag a particularly ragged moan out of Even who had been fairly reserved so far. But Isak didn’t need reserved now. He doesn’t want to hide behind it. He only wants Isak and Even.

On a mission, he brings Even’s head to his own with his free hand, kissing him desperately, aggressively until he’s drawing whimpers and sounds out of Even so arousing that he knows they will haunt him in his dreams. Continuing until they can barely take it anymore.

“Isak, please” Even begs breathily, moving in rhythm with Isak as they break for air. And nothing else matters to Isak except keeping that wrecked expression on his face as Isak speeds up his ministrations, kisses him more intensely until he brings Even over the edge.

“Isak, baby” Even lets out brokenly and Isak follows right after him.

They only let go briefly after taking a moment to catch their breaths and for Isak to clean himself off afterwards, grabbing a random shirt off the floor, Even still barely holding himself up. As soon as Isak’s done, Even lets go, falling to his side, pulling Isak with him. Facing each other, their eyes roam each other’s faces. Sweaty, lightly panting and looking dishevelled, but smiling. Hands still roaming lazily, legs tangled again.

“Fuck” Even barely gets out, going in for a long and lazy kiss, silently conveying all the words that neither of them can function enough to say.

“Fuck indeed.” Isak chuckles, scooting closer into Even’s arms, the skin to skin contact comforting him. There’s so much he does want to say and from the look on Even’s face, he does too. But Isak wants to save the words, making sure each single one isn’t spoken only because of his afterglow muddled brain. He wants Even to never have to question his sincerity when he does say them.

In the midst of this thoughts he realizes he could really have all this, this could be his future. With Even looking at him with what he can only describe as love in his eyes and making him feel so much more all at once than he ever thought possible.

“You’re staying right?” Isak asks, hating how all of a sudden his voice wavers, sounding unsure. There’s been nothing to indicate otherwise, but he still needs to hear it from Even directly.

“For as long as you want me to.” Even smiles brushing the hair from Isak’s forehead.

“I will always want you” Isak whispers to Even, who takes his hand and places a kiss on the inside of his wrist, knowing the words immediately to be true. That would do for confessions exchanged for tonight, they’ll have all day tomorrow.

The two of them lie there holding onto the other trying to make up for lost time, even if Isak hadn’t been aware of it then, of what exactly was missing for so long, what he had been looking for all those years. But now everything else simply pales in comparison, he concludes as sleep and the feel of Even’s arms around him finally take him under. His dreams must not be far behind, because a whispered _I love you_ is the last thing he remembers.


	22. Chapter 22

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thanks for all your lovely comments and kudos. To hear you guys enjoying this story makes me so happy <3

He’s the first to wake. The younger blonde still safely wrapped in his arms, the covers kicked halfway down the bed to help balance the heat radiating off their bodies. His first thought is one of relief, that it wasn’t all just some beautiful twisted dream. And his second thought a hopeful realization, that asleep in his arms lies his future.

Carefully pivoting his head as to not disturb Isak in his sleep as he glances around, taking in the unfamiliar room.

The shelves lining the far wall filled with childhood books, many of them focusing around science, space and the animal kingdom. Along with toys put out on display. A small wooden IKEA desk facing the bedroom window. Pencils, and crayons sticking out of a small mason jar next to a couple of old notebooks. A single Captain Sabertooth poster hanging next to it, contrasting the NWA poster taped to the back of the bedroom door. The poster the only indication that a teenage boy had once occupied the room. Whether Marianne had brought out Isak’s childhood items to remind her of her son and better times or Isak had simply stopped trying to add any personal touches, he’s not sure.

He had heard about Isak leaving home when he was on break, visiting from school.

“But he’s still so young to move out on his own. We have the room, if things are tough at home right now, why not offer it to him.” His mother had worried, wringing the dish towel tightly between her hands.

“What he needs right now is his support system of friends and people he can trust. The last place he probably wants to be right now is next door to his parents and it sounds like he is living with people that care about him. Marianne’s boy will be alright, Inger.” His father reassured her.

 _Isak_ , he had recalled. He never forgot the name of the boy he had spent all his time with that single summer many years ago. There were a couple of occasions where he tried to run into him again, but almost every time Isak had been nowhere to be found. After some time he had just accepted that it wasn’t meant to be.

Even watches Isak for a while longer, taking in his every feature. The near straight brows, the smooth slope of his nose, his cupid’s bow of his lip, and the dimple in his chin. All coming together to create one of the most breathtaking faces he has seen in his life, now soundly tucked in against him.

He recalls the way Isak had immediately relaxed in his hold last night. Snuggled closer to him and fallen into a deep sleep, leaving him unsure if his whispered confession had gone unheard. Despite wanting to hold off on any professions of love, because it could have been too soon and scared him off, he couldn’t help himself. Not when Isak was right there and he could all of a sudden picture thousands of nights with him, just like that one. It was easy, natural, like everything had been with Isak so far.

His own past had only held girlfriends, well one girlfriend and a couple of hookups. And he thought he would have been nervous their first night together. Truth be told, he had never been with another man before, short of a few half drunken kisses here and there.

This despite the fact that his crush on Isak had started somewhere in his late teens. When exactly, he still can’t pinpoint. Maybe it happened the summer before his last year, when a couple of pictures of Isak then almost grown took his breath away. Or maybe it was after his last year, after he had started talking to Marianne. At that point Isak had no longer been only a collection of pictures and stories shaping some vague childhood memory. No, Isak had grown into more than that for him.

“Are you going to spend all of your time pining after this guy? For all you know he’s nothing like that in person.” Mikael asked irritated after catching Even zoning out when he should have been reviewing the first draft of a script they had been working on.

The most important project of his career so far, but not only because they were hoping to have it shown at the film festival. What was far more important to Even was the core of the script, the idea that a single minute could make all the difference in the world. How many times had he missed Isak by just a couple of minutes before he gave up trying to see him when visiting home.

_“Oh Even dear, he just went out to the library.”_

_“I’m sorry Even, you just missed him by a minute. He’s gone out to his friend’s cabin for the week.”_

Minutes that he now knows they could have shared all along.

“I’m not wrong” Even had simply smiled. He couldn't be, not when he felt so strongly.

“Well then do something about it.” Mikael shot back at his friend. Even knew he didn’t meant to be short with him. But they had barely gotten any sleep that week. Trying to hold down a steady job while spending every other waking moment in pursuit of their dreams to work on films. Had it been any other week Mikael probably would have sat him down and created a ten step plan for getting him together with Isak.

Except when Even had finally gathered the courage to reach out to Isak and take the risk that the younger man wouldn’t recognize him, his mother had told him about his new boyfriend, the graduate student.

“He sounds like such a nice young man, that boy really deserves someone who makes him happy.” She added absentmindedly.

 _He does_ Even agreed despite himself.

Of course Isak would go for someone as equally determined and brilliant as himself. There was no way Even could ever hold a candle to that guy. Isak would want probably want to discuss all his favourite subjects and new studies he would happily read about. And where would that leave him? The guy who went to film school while Isak was busy studying to one day save lives. Maybe it had all been nothing more than just a fantasy, a dream. Nothing more.

So instead he threw himself into their new film. The love letter to Isak that he would probably never see. A vision of what could have been between the two of them. How could his heart hurt over someone he had never actually had? He pondered that thought late into the night when sleep was nowhere to be found. But eventually he did manage to move past the dull ache.

It hadn’t resurfaced that day he caught a glimpse of Isak at Marianne’s funeral. But his own heart was already heavy at the loss of his dear friend who had been there when he needed someone the most. He wanted nothing more than to walk over and comfort the grieving Isak who looked like a lost little boy in that moment, glancing around unsure what to do. To confide his own grief in him. However in the small window of time he had hesitated in, Isak was already gone, nowhere to be found for the rest of the night and he was sure that would be the last time he ever saw him.

That is until that day he simply peered out of his mother’s kitchen window, wondering what to do with himself for the month he was planning on spending with his parents. There he was, standing outside the neighbouring house. Looking ready to bolt, but that time Even didn’t hesitate.

Smiling to himself, he looks down at the still sleeping figure again, brushing the hair back from his forehead. A small sigh escaping Isak’s lips. How can this possibly be? Even wonders. What had he done right in his life to end up with this beautiful naked young man in his arms.

Part of him wants to get up and make Isak breakfast in bed but the idea of leaving him alone for even a minute doesn’t appeal to him in the slightest. Not when their time is so limited. _No, not today. There’s time to think about that tomorrow, let’s just simply be today._

“Are you going to spend all morning watching me?” Isak asks, drawing Even’s attention from his thoughts and to himself. His eyes still closed, but his mouth pulled into a smile.

“That was the plan” Even admits as he gives Isak a chaste closed mouth kiss. The corners of Isak’s mouth growing even wider.

“Good morning” Even runs a hand through Isak’s hair when he finally opens up his eyes “and merry Christmas.”

“Hmm” Isak curls tighter against him “if this is what Christmas morning is like for the Americans every year, then I completely get the appeal.”

“Oh yeah? You going to convert to a Christmas morning focused holiday?” Even teases.

“If I get to have you each year, I just may.” He’s sure that Isak’s cheeks must ache from grinning so brightly. A sight that he can never imagine getting tired of.

“I think that can be easily arranged.”

“Yeah?”

“Mhm” Even sounds out, lips already traveling along Isak’s collar bones. But is that a promise he can keep a small voice at the back of his head says. He ignores it in favor of returning his focus back to Isak.

He can see the same question playing in Isak’s eyes when he looks up, smile dimming the slightest bit. And all he knows is how he feels right this moment, how he’s felt all this time. How he had loved Isak from afar, and how it’s only gotten easier since.

“As long as you’ll have me.” He vows, answering Isak’s questioning eyes. The moment the words are out of his mouth it dawns on him that this, being with Isak, isn’t a fantasy of his anymore, but his reality.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I hope you liked this small glimpse into Even. I will do my best to get another chapter out by Sunday and thanks again for reading <3


	23. Chapter 23

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I'm so happy you guys seem to be enjoying this story. Your comments are always so lovely, thank you so so much <3

“What’s wrong, my boy?” His mother slurred when her eyes opened and found Isak’s, still groggy from the heavily sedating medication.

“Just a lot on my mind, don’t worry mamma.” Isak smiled weakly sat in the chair positioned next to her bed.

“You don’t have to keep it all to yourself just because I’m not a hundred percent right now.” Irritation would have colored her words if it weren’t for the fog weighing down her brain. She hated it when Isak still tried to shoulder everything himself. _It’s not like it used to be, I’m better now and I know that you can be strong on your own. But just please let me be the parent from time to time and let me take care of you, Isak._

“Honestly mamma, it’s nothing to worry about. Work, classes, personal stuff...”

“Watching over me after another episode.” She added, control over her voice and tone slowly returning. It was the third one in as many months, which they both knew meant taking a step back and going through the trial and error of new medication once more. It was enough to stress them both out even at the best of times.

“No, I told you already that’s never a burden.” He said firmly.

“Then tell me what it is so my mind doesn’t have to run wild.”

Sighing defeated, he launched into the latest going ons of trying to keep that delicate balance between his grades, working, and staying in touch with his friends.

“They all love you, they’ll understand if you can’t make the time once in awhile,” she dismissed of his friends “so what is it really? Is it that boy you’ve been seeing?” Always one to see straight through to the truth.

He could hardly call him a boy at that age. “We’re not seeing each other anymore.” Isak responded. Saying as little as possible, but also all his mother needed to know.

“Well, when you find that someone that’s really worth it, you’ll know.” she reassured him, now fully able to prop herself into a seated position on the bed. “Because when someone loves you, truly loves you, Isak, you can feel it. And not just here,” she placed a hand over her heart, “but all over.”

“What are you thinking about?” Even draws him out of his thoughts, his fingers still running over Isak’s scalp. They hadn’t left the bed all of yesterday, only when they absolutely had to, and Isak was reluctant to leave it even now. Although it was probably time to. The sun already rising to greet them with another day, whether they were ready for it or not.

“You” Isak smiles.

Even smiles back at him, leaning down to capture his lips between his own. Isak had long ago lost count of how many kisses there had been between them.

“But why directing exactly?” Isak asks curiously after listening to Even speak of his work so passionately. It was clear to see that everything Even worked on benefited greatly from his vision and dedication, but he needed to know more still. Like nothing would be enough until he knew Even inside and out.

“Storytelling itself has always been important to me. I think every single person has a story to tell, but not everyone knows how.” He absent mindedly tucks some of Isak’s hair behind his ear like he had done so many times in the past couple of days. It was such a small and sweet gesture, but every time he did it, Isak couldn’t help but lean in into it.

“So if I even only ever help one person tell their story, I think that I will have accomplished everything that I have set out to do.” Even continues.

“What about the films you have worked on so far, whose story have they been?” Isak asks curiously.

“Mainly my own story in part.” Even says thoughtfully, “coupled with Mikael’s whenever we worked together on a project. But I’ve haven’t yet been able to tell someone else’s. Someone’s story that mean a lot to me.”

They lie there for a few minutes simply watching the light filter into the room through the drawn curtains when Even’s voice cuts through the silence again.

“Good storytelling coupled with just the right camera angles overlain with that perfect song, leaves the viewer at your mercy. Because if you get it right for that, be it for the duration of a ten minute or two hour film, you form this intimate bond with the viewer. You can make them feel exactly what you felt. And there’s nothing that compares to that.”

Isak looks to him awed at getting even just a glimpse into the depth of Even’s passion. He could spend a lifetime getting to know him.

“It’s not quite saving lives.” Even says raising an eyebrow.

“But it is,” Isak defends, having experienced first hand how powerful one of Even’s films can be. “Maybe you’re not physically sewing people together, but you’re healing them in other ways. Ways that count just as much.” He continues vehemently.

“Yeah?” Even smiles widely, eyes asking for reassurance.

“Yes” Isak emphasizes to make his point. He knows Even believes in his own work and he doesn’t want Even to think his own work and achievements would ever come second to Isak’s. He doesn’t want either of them to feel like they are standing in each other’s shadow. So he lets Even know just that.

“We’re in this together. Equally.” Isak finishes with a grin, pulling Even down. Intending to show him exactly how how intimately together they are.

The sun is shining bright when they lie there next to one another panting and sweaty.

“We should go make breakfast,” Even suggests rubbing at his chest.

“Could probably use a shower first.” Isak says still reluctant to leave the safety of the sheets. Which could also use a good wash.

Even is the first one to get up and when he does he pulls a whining Isak up with him.

“Don’t you want to go for round two?” Even wags his eyebrow suggestively.

“That’ll be round three this morning” Isak corrects, “and I’m not sure that I have it in me. Breakfast better be huge.” They had barely eaten the previous day, too preoccupied to think about something like food.

“I promise it will be. Come on, I believe in you.” Even winks pulling Isak along into the bathroom.

Freshly cleaned and both the sheets and used shirts going through a thorough wash, they make their way down to get breakfast going. Except downstairs in the light of day and outside of the safety of the covers, they can’t run from reality anymore.

“Have you thought about the house yet? What you’re going to do?” Even asks whisking the eggs as Isak sets to making the coffee. God, how could he go back to his old morning routine after having experienced all this?

“I don’t think I’m ready to decide either way” Isak confesses. He thought by now he would have made his mind up, but instead his decision just became more difficult which he shares with Even who nods in understanding.

“You don’t have to decide if you’re not ready yet. It’s a big decision either way. But just remember that I’m here if you need me, okay?” His hand reaches out to rub over Isak’s back briefly. Just a simple touch to say _I’m here for you._

They continue to chat as they prepare their meal until they can no longer avoid that one topic.

“I’m going back in four days.” Isak says quietly standing next to Even who is busy making them scrambled eggs. He’s been dreading this.

Even nods in acknowledgement, looking down for a bit longer before turning to Isak with a smile. “I’m not scheduled to return to working on the new film until mid January. I can come spend new year’s with you if you’d like.” He offers, hopeful.

“Of course I would like that, I’d love it.” Isak exclaims excited to have more time with the man standing in front of him. The man he just keeps falling for deeper and deeper.

“Good, I’d love to see some more of your life.” Even rubs the side of his thumb along Isak’s cheek.

“You’ll get to meet my friends.” Isak adds half reluctantly and half looking forward to have them meet.

“Hey, they’re a part of you and I want to know all there is to know about you.”

“I’m still not ready for what’s to come after.” Isak admits. The inevitable physical distance between them pushed back for a few days, but still there nonetheless.

“It’s only a bit of temporary distance.” Even soothes, turning off the heat on the stove and focusing his full attention on Isak.

“I don’t think I’m ready to be away from you even if it’s temporary.” Isak swallows, willing away the lump forming in his throat.

“I don’t think I will ever be ready either” Even says placing down the spatula and placing a hand on each of Isak’s shoulders. “But I think we’ll be fine” Hands running up to cup Isak’s face gently.

“Do you want all this?” Even asks softly.

“More than anything.” Isak whispers back.

“Then we’ll be just fine” he repeats with a smile.

“How can you be so sure?” Isak asks.

“Because, I believe in what we have here and I know you do too.” Even smiles confidently.


	24. Chapter 24

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thank you all for reading and your amazingly lovely comments <3 
> 
> Warning that this chapter deals with grief and loss.

Three days. He is leaving in three days and he still hadn’t stepped foot inside the room. _It’s time_ he thinks standing outside the door. He had only gotten up to use the washroom, leaving a slumbering Even in bed. But walking back past the bedroom, something drew him to a halt.

The room is exactly as he remembers it, his mother’s faint scent strongest here as he opens the door. To the left of the room stands her bed, neatly made. She would always make it, saying that if she was well enough to get out of bed, then she was well enough to make it. A habit she tried to instil in Isak with no success. Across the bed, her dresser placed in front of a large mirror, holding her assortment of perfumes. There were her favorites, organized based on the seasons of the year and her most expensive ones which she liked to save for special occasions only.

And straight ahead, the bay windows are letting in the limited light of the night sky, illuminating the book that lay on her night stand. Bookmark in place, waiting for her to pick up where she left off. Isak picks the book up, taking a seat on the edge of the bed, a wide grin spreading across his face. A cheesy romance novel, he can already tell by the title and embracing lovers on the front cover alone. She really loved those.

“Not everything you read needs to make you contemplate the universe.” She had told him after he groaned at her selection in the book store. “Sometimes it’s okay to just read something for pleasure. There’s enough sadness in the world and if I want to read about two people riding off into the sunset then I will do so.”

“Okay mamma,” he gave in eyeing to front covers “but there’s no way I’m about to walk up to the cashier with these, able to physically look them in the eyes.” He whispered fiercely, really _really_ not wanting to have to do it.

“Oh why not, he’s cute enough.” She said innocently looking at the checkout boy. “I’m sure he’ll be professional about it and won’t judge. Who knows maybe he’ll appreciate your sensitive side.”

“Mamma!”

He blinks past the tears forming in his eyes, trying to control his breathing. But here in her room surrounded by all her things it steadily got more difficult to breathe. He’d stand in line a thousand times buying the cheesiest possible romance novel if it would give him just one more moment like that with her.

When the phone call first came he thought she had tried to harm herself again. That she would have to be hospitalized again. He knew there wasn’t always a clear explanation for why someone would try to take their life. The last time she had tried was years ago and as more and more time passed he had genuinely thought he’d never have to experience that again. God forbid she was ever successful. But here he still was trying to think of all the ways he could try to help her. To make sure she didn’t try again. It wasn’t logical and there wasn’t a simple solution, but he loved her and he wanted to do everything in his power to keep her safe.

Isak was already playing through all of the things he could do to try to make the adjustment of coming back home as easy as possible for her. He could take some time off from work, talk to his professors and submit his assignments online. Just for a little while, until she was well again. Worst case scenario he could take off a semester. She wouldn’t be happy about it, saying that he shouldn’t put his life and career on hold for her, but he would do it anyways.

He was still formulating his plan as he walked through the hospital doors.

“I’m here to see Marianne Valtersen, I’m her son, Isak Valtersen.” He told the nurse at the front desk who scanned through her computer screen before turning back to him.

“Please have a seat, Isak, the doctor will be out shortly.” She nodded to the waiting area, looking at him kindly.

Why didn’t they just give him the room number like they had last time? Was it that much worse? What had she done? The questions didn’t stop coming, but he did as he was told and took a seat.

It only took the doctor about ten minutes to come out, but it was enough for his mind to go into a tailspin. A biting cold settling deeper into his bones with each thought of what could possibly be waiting for him. But nothing could have prepared him. The doctor was a stocky middle aged woman who only came up to his chest. But when she took him into one of the empty consultation rooms and began to speak, it was he who felt tiny in comparison.

A stroke, her doctor had explained. It wasn’t unheard of in someone her age and it can happen suddenly without warning. _Strokes weren’t always fatal._ She hit her head pretty badly on her way down and fell unconscious. _That doesn’t have to mean anything._ Her nurse was visiting and called for an ambulance right away. _She could still be okay_. But when she arrived at the hospital it was too late. _No_. I’m really sorry for your loss. _My loss_.

She spoke some more, but he couldn’t hear her over the rushing of blood in his ears. She stayed with him a while longer, hand clasped over his own as he sat there numbly until she finally had to leave and a nurse came in. Did he need help calling anyone else? Other family? Did he have someone he could call so he wouldn’t be alone? There were grief counselors available around the clock, she could call one for him.

But why would he need a grief counselor? Didn’t she understand? He wasn’t feeling grief. There were no five stages to work through, because he didn’t feel anything. His mind was blank, no feelings coursing through him to work through. So he shook his head and walked out the room, silent, not even thanking her for her concern. But he only made it as far as the waiting area before he felt his knees start to give out, stopping at the nearest chair.

Alone he had sat there all night in that hospital waiting room. Waiting for what exactly? She wasn’t going to walk out those doors no matter how long he sat there. But he still remained there, taking some comfort in the sounds of people busily running around him. He’d shut his phone off when it wouldn’t stop ringing. He didn’t think he even had it in him to talk to anyone. He wasn't sure his throat would let his get a sound past without constricting.

At some point his mother’s nurse sat down next to him, asking him questions. Questions that he heard, but his mind couldn’t fully comprehend. Something about worrying friends. Calls, don’t be alone. All just words jumbled together, making no sense so he continued to alternate between staring at the pattern on the floor and watching doctors and nurses bustling back and forth.

It was dawn, the next morning when he left that hospital, still feeling numb. He probably shouldn’t have driven back into the city that day, because he couldn’t remember even getting into the car or getting out of it when he arrived at his apartment. He could barely remember getting into the bed. But once he did, he couldn't leave.

Still clutching the book, he notices the wet spots forming on the open pages in front of him. He places the book back, intending to clamp down on his tears and go back to bed, when he feels a gentle hand on his shoulder. And he can’t hold back anymore, tears streaming down freely as his vision blurs and the hand snakes around his chest, Even pressing him against himself.

“Come here” Even whispers gently, pulling the blankets back on the bed as Isak’s silent tears turn to sobs and guides them into the bed, tucking the blankets around them both.

“I miss her” Isak sobs into Even’s neck, for the first time since losing her.

“I know” Even whispers into his hair. One arm pulling him tighter and the other running up and down his back.

“I know, baby” he repeats kissing the top of Isak’s head, trying each way he can think of to soothe him, wishing he could take away his pain. But knowing that all he can do is be there for the younger man.

Isak is still lying cocooned in Even’s arms when he wakes again, feeling lighter. The pain and loss still there, but just the tiniest amount lighter. Even’s hand still rubbing along his back and he’s sure it never once stopped even as he slept.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I know it's an incredibly sad chapter especially after all the fun fluff lately, but I feel like it's important for Isak to finally come to terms. And this way I know he can move forward and isn't bottling anything inside. But it's happiness and growing their relationship from here on!


	25. Chapter 25

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I'm so sorry for the delay. I didn't mean to abandon the story, but a lot came up and this kind of fell to the wayside. Anyways I am still absolutely planning on finishing this, it's just taking longer than originally planned. Thank you to all of you reading and a very special thank you to those lovely comments I received while the story was on hold. I read all of them and you ultimately made me remember how much I enjoyed writing this story. So once again, thank you <3

The late morning sun warms him, slowly pulling him out of his slumber, until the aftermath of a night of tears knocks him into full consciousness. Complete with burning eyes, a pounding head, and total exhaustion. 

“Here” comes a soft voice beside him when he lets out a small groan. Isak cracks his worn eyes open in response to see Even sitting at the edge of the bed holding two pills in one hand and a glass of water in the other.

“Thanks” he accepts both groggily. “I’m sorry” he mumbles as he lowers the glass from his lips.

“What for?” Even asks placing the glass on the nightstand and looks back at him confused.

“For breaking down like that.” Isak shrugs self consciously. This can’t be what Even signed on for.

In turn Even simply stares at him for a while, sitting on the edge of the bed, searching his eyes. “Isak” he starts then furrows his brows, thinking for a moment before continuing on. “You should never have to apologize for what you feel. And I don’t ever want you to feel uncomfortable or be the reason you don’t feel comfortable to express what you feel.” 

“You don’t make me feel uncomfortable” Isak says quietly. When Even doesn’t respond he continues “I don’t want to make you feel stuck or obligated.”

“Why would I ever feel that?” Even cocks his head to the side, trying to understand.

“Because I’m not… I’m still not a hundred percent.” Isak hates how weak he sounds in that moment. He’s never been this vulnerable in front of anyone that wasn’t his mother or one of his closest friends. Definitely never in front of someone he was falling so fast for. And his immediate reaction is to push. To push away and run. A reaction he detests.

There’s a silence between them for a full minute during which all of Isak’s insecurities manage to break through the surface and he’s sure Even can see each one as it emerges.

“You’re still going through a lot, Isak, I know that. And what you’re feeling right now, it won’t go away overnight. Even then, you can’t expect to be firing at a hundred all the time. There will always be ups and downs. For both of us. But,” Even pauses, reaching to take Isak’s hand into his own “don’t you think that maybe it wouldn’t be a burden for me to be there for you when you need someone, but a privilege?” No, Isak hadn’t thought of that. No one has ever said those words or anything like them before.

Even’s lips turn into a small smile, his eyes seemingly reading the answer in his own. “I’m with you to stay,” he says softly, running his thumb over the top of Isak’s hand “so long as you’ll have me. And that means through the good and bad, the horrific and amazing, even the terrifying.”

It’s a vow no one’s ever made to Isak before and the words cause the back of his eyes to sting with from fresh tears he attempts to hold back. Until one slips out, sliding down his cheek, and Even’s thumb is there to gently wipe it away for him. Isak closes his eyes gratefully as Even shuffles around on the bed Isak’s head is lying in his lap.

“There’s no rush” Even continues quietly, brushing Isak’s hair back from his forehead. “Just one step at a time, one day at a time.”

“Together” Isak says into the quiet.

“Together” Even answers.

When Isak wakes again it’s not much later, his headache is gone even if his eyes still sting slightly. But his head is still on Even’s lap and he’s certain he never stopped running his hand over his hair. 

“Hi” he says when he looks up to find Even’s focus on the window, lost in his own thoughts.

“Hi” Even replies looking down pleased to find him awake and leans down to kiss Isak’s lips.

“This is probably how we should have woken up the first time around” Isak grumbles, dragging Even back down for one more.

“I’ll be sure to keep that in mind for all mornings to follow” Even teases, the words make Isak’s stomach flip in the best way as Even gives into his demands of repeat kisses. That is until even Isak can’t ignore his stomach reaching uncomfortable levels of emptiness. Sitting up with a sigh, he turns to face Even “Thank you” he says “for earlier, everything you said… it really means a lot to me.”

“I mean it, all of it.” Even’s hand drops on his knee “I’m in this with you.”

“Together” Isak smiles remembering Even’s earlier words about taking it one day at a time.

“Exactly.” Even confirms. And Isak’s not sure how, but in this exact moment he knows he doesn’t have to worry about how the next few months will go. They’ll talk it out in their own time and more importantly, he knows they’ll make it.

“Come on,” Even tugs his arm lightly, seemingly reading his mind “let’s go downstairs and have some breakfast.” 

“Okay now you sit down,” Isak insists when they make it into the kitchen side by side “I’ve had you cooking almost every meal for me, now it’s my turn to actually make you breakfast for once. Even if it is almost 14.00” 

“Alright, but how about I at least set the table and make some coffee.” Even laughs willing to put himself at Isak’s mercy.

“Fine, but after that sit down. I’ll make us my mother’s special egg recipe.” Isak announces taking a number of ingredients out of the fridge and breaking the eggs over a bowl while Even sets up the coffee maker. 

“That sounds promising” Even sounds impressed as he pulls out the cutlery from the drawer next to Isak.

“The secret,” Isak explains opening one of the containers “is the sour cream.” When he looks to Even, he’s met with a stunned silence. Mistaking it as disbelief, he carries on “I know, I wasn’t expecting it either when she told me about it. But I promise you, these will be the best eggs you’ve ever had.” He assures him before Even breaks out into laughter.

“What?” Isak asks confused “it’s not that absurd of a combination.”

“I know it’s not, that was my special recipe, I was the one that taught her that.” 

Isak puts down the whisk looking over unimpressed. Is there absolutely nothing Even doesn’t already know about him in some shape of form? “You’re joking.”

“No I swear” Even looks delighted “I can’t believe she passed it on to you.”

“Well now I have no hopes of impressing you” Isak sighs dramatically.

“What do you mean?” Even glances at him between putting plates on the table, amused.

“You’re the recipe creator, there’s no way what I make will be able to live up to your expectations now.” Isak shakes his head.

“I promise you I’ll love them.” He folds his arms across his chest still grinning.

“Now you’re just trying to placate me.” Isak huffs playfully.

“Nuh uh” Even shakes his head stepping in front of Isak, pulling his hips to him “just making an educated guess.” 

“Oh? How so?” Isak lets out trying to ignore Even’s closeness in order to keep up the charade.

“Well so far everything you’ve done has been amazing.” Even looks into his eyes hungrily now.

“I don’t think my ability in bed necessarily translates into cooking skills” Isak grins cockily drawing a surprised bark of laughter out of Even. 

“Too bad” Even leans in, “those could have been some fucking great eggs.” And Isak can’t help himself. The bowl forgotten on the counter, he closes the distance between them. His real hunger momentarily forgotten.

“Mmm no,” Isak protests weakly after a few moments, pulling away from Even. “I mean yes. Yes to all of that” making a circular pointing gesture over Even’s body “but if we don’t stop to eat” he’s momentarily cut off by a quick playful kiss before continuing “I’m going to pass out from hunger.”

“We absolutely can’t have that” Even agrees sympathetically, leaning back.

“Yes, so stop distracting me and sit down” Isak playfully glares at him, getting back to preparing their meal.

“Mmm, these really are the best eggs I’ve ever had” Even says happily around a forkful of eggs when they finally sit down to eat.

“You’re just saying that because you haven’t eaten a full meal in over a day.” Isak laughs.

“No I swear I could absolutely get used to you making us breakfast” Even nods in emphasis.

“Well then I really do hope they are the best eggs ever,” Isak confides with a grin “because that’s the only breakfast food I know how to prepare that isn’t cereal or sandwiches.” 

Even pulls a shocked face at him “and here I was in it only for your culinary skills.” 

“Oh well, we can’t turn back now” Isak smiles over to him.

“No,” Even answers with a smile of his own “we can’t turn back now.”


	26. Chapter 26

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Aww thank you guys for all the love you gave me on the last chapter. Seriously, it made my entire week. Thank you so much <3

Eskild

What time are you going to be back tomorrow?

Probably early evening as long as the roads are fine

Early as in early enough for dinner?

I guess  
Why  
What do you have planned?

You owe us a Christmas

I’m don’t think that’s how it works but sure why not

Fantastic! I’ll get everyone ready

Cool  
Oh also Even is probably going to be staying over for new years  
And maybe the week after

“Oh also”??

??

That’s how you decide to break the news?

How else was I supposed to….  
Carrier pigeon?

THE Even Bech Næsheim is going to be staying with us  
And you add that in like an afterthought!?

Is him staying an issue?

Of course not. Your boyfriend is more than welcome  
To come stay with us

He is your boyfriend, right??

Yeah I guess he is

Dang. Well done

Wait why are you awake at this hour then?  
Shouldn’t you either be busy jumping him  
Or passed out from all the strenuous activity?

 

“Everything alright?” Even asks when Isak rolls his eyes placing his phone back on the floor beside his old bed.

“Just Eskild being Eskild.” Isak dismisses trying to get back to his previous position in the crook of Even’s arm, pressed up against him.They’ve spent every waking moment and now all night together simply talking about everything and nothing. Discussing everything from the past, to their dreams, and even the future. Trying to get a lifetime worth of conversations in before Isak is scheduled to leave tomorrow.

Tomorrow. Despite it only being 03.00 and still having a full day and night left with Even, it just doesn’t feel like enough. He doesn’t think any amount of time will ever feel enough. His last day crept up on them far too quickly and Isak has never felt more lost or safe in his life. Lost because he has yet to make a final decision on the house, and now with Even in the picture he’s not completely certain where his life is going to lead next. But also safe because he’s finally at peace, and because he knows he can handle the uncertainty.

“Hmm” Even lets out, lost in his own thoughts.

“What are you thinking about?” Isak asks when Even still hasn’t spoken

“Do you think they’ll like me? Your friends?” Worry clear in his voice.

“Of course they will. Probably too much. Like an annoying amount.” Isak says stifling a yawn, finally finding a comfortable position.

After another moment of silence Isak opens his eyes and looks up at him “I promise they’ll like you” he reassures him.

“Okay” Even chuckles bringing his free arm to rest on Isak’s chest and it only takes another minute or so for Isak to drift off completely.

It’s already nearing noon when Isak wakes up, but he when he does, it’s with one clear goal in mind.

“I want to pack up some of my mom’s things.” Isak says to Even who is already on his phone and must have been awake for a few hours.

“Are you sure?” He looks at Isak surprised.

Isak nods “I’ll still keep some of it, but things like her clothes and most of her books, those can be donated and they won’t do any good lying there for another few months. I want to do that before I leave. Or at least as much as I can.” He knows he won’t be able to handle everything. Not her perfumes and not her jewelry. No, those were too personal to her. But he has to do at least something. He grimaces when he sees the time.

“Alright” Even smiles easily “then we should probably get started.”

Despite his earlier determination, Isak falters when he’s standing in the doorway to her room an hour later. Behind him stands Even, boxes and bags in hand waiting silently. Giving Isak the time he needs. And a few more breaths is all Isak seems to need before he walks into the room and directly to her closet.

“We should probably go through her clothes first, books after” he says to Even who only nods encouragingly, letting Isak take the lead. It’s a fairly quiet and solemn affair, certainly a sad one. That’s the only way he can think of putting it, of putting his emotions into words. Every time he places one more item into the bags, it feels like he’s saying goodbye to a part of her.

How odd, he’s never thought of a person as being made up of the items they own, never associated anyone purely by their possessions in that way. What would be the things making him up once he is gone? His textbooks? The countless notebooks and files of class notes? A couple of random posters on the wall? The clothes strewn over his bedroom floor? A car that barely passes inspection every two years?

“I guess we are all made up of the things we own in some way.” Even considers thoughtfully when Isak shares his conclusions.

“But that’s not all that gets left behind. There are your memories which are irreplaceable. And I think that’s how people really live on, in our memories. Sure these were her things, but she doesn’t live on through a blouse or a book. They’re items that can help you remember her, but without you there to have or share those memories, they just remain inanimate objects. They won’t tell her story, Isak. You, however, will.”

Isak exhales, feeling just a bit relieved after hearing those words, smiling the slightest bit, trying not to be overwhelmed by emotion.

“She was well loved. She’ll be remembered by many people for a long time. More importantly you’ll keep her around in your thoughts.” Even assures him with a grin of his own running his hand along Isak’s arm. It’s not everything, but it’s enough for Isak right now. Just enough to keep going.

By the time they finish and the car is loaded up with bags of clothes and boxes of books, ready for him to drop them off to be donated in the morning on his way out of town, it’s 20.00. Letting out an exhausted sigh, Isak goes back into the house where Even is cleaning up the last of the packing materials. Isak closes the front door behind him and leans against it, just taking in the sight of Even.

What had he done to get this lucky? Never in a thousand lifetimes did he think he’d ever be lucky enough to have someone like him. And as his eyes wander he takes in the hallway, lit up, the smell of their dinner cooking in the kitchen, the TV turned onto Netflix in the living room, and pictures of his mother smiling all around the place. He also can’t help but notice empty spots and shelves amongst all of that. As if the entire house is ready for him to create new memories in, just waiting. And he’s overcome with a warmth, not the same one he felt when coming home to his mother. This feeling is different, but still significant and warm.

“I think I’m going to keep it.” Isak says causing Even to look up “at least for now. I want to make my own memories here too.”

“Yeah?” The expression on Even’s face as warm as Isak feels.

Isak nods in confirmation “I mean I probably won’t be back until summer, but I do want to come back.”

“Mamma and pappa will be able to come by and look in on the place while you’re in school. They won’t mind.” Even offers.

“Thanks.” Isak smiles back.

Even sniffs “I think dinner’s ready. Let me go deal with that before it burns” leaving Isak with a peck on the lips.

Isak watches him go and doesn’t voice the offer for Even to come stay with him this summer. Not yet, he’s already fallen for him faster than he could have imagined. The words threatening to slip past his lips every time they talk or kiss or sleep together. Scratch that. He’s ready to let them slip every time Even is in the general vicinity. But it’s too soon. It’s not that he’s afraid he’ll scare him off, because he’s certain Even feels the same way. But they’ve been living in a sort of bubble for the last few days. With none of the everyday stress. No. When he says those words he wants Even to know that he loves every part of him. His good days and bad days.

The picture of his mother and him from his first day of school catches his eye in the hallway. And he’s certain that if she were here right now, she’d be in agreement with him.

“Want to eat in the living room?” Even asks from the kitchen, plates in hand.

“Sounds good” Isak grins at the picture of his mother and can’t help but imagine her rolling her eyes at them not eating their meal at the table. Sticking his tongue out at her he goes to join his boyfriend who is already looking through their Netflix lineup. A place at his side waiting just for him.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> So I guess this is the conclusion of part of the story. But not the whole for sure. Like the ending mentioned, they've been living in a bit of a bubble without any outside forces. So the next part of the story will be about them making it work with their own day to day responsibilities. We'll also be making it back to the house :)


	27. Chapter 27

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thank you guys so much for for taking the time to give kudos and comments on my previous chapters. They really make my day <3 Hope you enjoy this chapter.

The TV is still going in the background an hour later, half empty plates sitting forgotten on the coffee table, but Isak is more focused on Even lying beneath as they share long and lazy kisses. Hands trailing over the other in long and just as lazy strokes. 

This time he’s in no rush, because he knows something that he’s not sure Even has realized yet. They have forever together. So he takes his time simply relishing Even, taking pleasure out of watching him turn needy under him. 

“You’re trying to torture me” Even moans.

“I’m trying to enjoy you” Isak grins “take my time with you.”

“I remember you enjoying it quite thoroughly when I was inside you the other night. And I recall you weren’t very patient then.” 

He smiles into the kiss when Even begins to turn frantic, hands no longer gentle. But Isak enjoys being in control as Even falls apart.

That is until Even’s hands slide into the back of his jeans, jerking him down and keeping him there while he slowly grinds upwards against an equally hard Isak, drawing a surprised gasp out of the younger man. 

Taking advantage, Even closes his mouth over Isak’s, licking into his mouth and curling his tongue against Isak’s who is slowly turning into a whimpering mess.

Isak who can’t even string two thoughts together at this point between Even’s rough hands and mouth and hips moving against him in just the right way. The moment Even’s fingers move against him, teasing him, sending tremors down his entire body, he can’t take anymore foreplay. They’ve already been at it for the better part of an hour, growing impossibly harder the whole time. He needs Even. Now.

“Even, fuck, I need to feel you right now” Isak begs about to lean back on his knees so he can unbuckle his jeans, not able to take the pressure any longer. Why hadn’t he changed into sweatpants earlier? 

“Hmm” Even smiles mischievously, pulling Isak back down “we’re taking our time, there’s no rush.”

“Fuck that. I’m about to go off in my pants here.”

“Demanding.” Even draws out slowly, continuing his demanding ministrations on Isak as if the exchange didn’t take place.

“For you always”

When Even doesn’t respond, Isak tries again, this time keeping none of the desperation he feels out of his voice “baby I fucking need you. Please”

This time Even removes his hands and sits them both up before pushing Isak on his back and unbuttoning his jeans. When he gets to the zipper however, he comes to a halt.

“No” Isak whines “no please don’t stop now.”

In exchange Even winks before he starts pulling the zipper down at a painfully slow speed.

“God you’re the worst” Isak grinds out bucking his hips, trying to help move it along to no avail.

“Even!” Isak exclaims when he looks down to find the zipper not even halfway down.

“Okay okay” Even laughs and makes quick work of removing his pants and boxers in one swift move.

“We should probably get upstairs” Even says right before he takes all of Isak in his mouth and down his throat. If Isak had a response, he immediately forgets.

“E-Even” he breathes when the vibrations of Even’s groan rack through him. 

“Fuck I’m not going to last” Isak warns at the overwhelming feeling of Even taking him in over and over again, trying to focus just enough not to buck his hips. In response Even taps his rear, giving him the go ahead and it only takes a couple more pulls from Even before Isak comes with a loud groan, hands buried in Even’s hair.

He’s still trying to recover his breathing, eyes closed, whispering quiet thank you’s when Even moves back up, showering his face in kisses. 

“You’re so hot, you know that?” Even asks spacing the words out between each kiss.

“Not nearly as hot as that just was” Isak opens his eyes, tugging Even down, bringing him in for a kiss so deep it, Isak’s sure it touches his soul.

“Hmm” finally breaking the kiss, Isak lifts his brows nodding down at Even’s pants.

“We need should get upstairs so we can deal with that situation.” He grins and is already standing up, dragging Even along and up the stairs.

The moon hangs high in the sky hours later when Isak is still lying awake, watching a slumbering Even. Taking in the relaxed brows and slightly parted lips of the man he’s falling in love with. 

If anyone would have told him two weeks ago that his entire life would change in just over a week and this is where he would be and how he would feel, content, happy, and loved, he would have paid them no attention. Yet here he is and he can’t help the giddiness building up within him. At Even’s side he’s constantly overcome with a sense of safety and peace. The rest of the world could fall down around them, but so long as they had each other, they could weather any storm. Together. It’s a feeling like no other Isak has ever felt before. And he’s basking in the warmth of it when he begins to drift off.

“Oh stop hogging the boy, Even.” Daniel scolds playfully the next morning when they’re all standing in the driveway ready to send Isak off, all braving the cold. 

“Let us say goodbye and then the two of you can stay out here for as long as you want and be as over the top as you like, just don’t make us freeze our rears off” he brushes past Even and pulls Isak into a tight hug. “Don’t be a stranger, alright?” With one last pat on the back he steps back and Inger is immediately there to take his place.

“We’ll miss you sweetheart,” she says wrapping her arms around him whispering in his ear “I’m so glad you and Even finally found your way to one another.”

Pulling back with a wide grin, Isak looks over to the man in question “me too.” 

“And I better be hearing from you regularly, not just through Even. That means I’m expecting calls and texts from you.” Inger looks at him pointedly, letting him know she means business.

“Of course” Isak looks at her fondly, this woman who didn’t think twice to taking him into her family, “and thanks again for looking after the house while I’m gone.”

“It’s nothing, we’re already next door it’s no hassle” she dismisses matronly.

“Alright well you two take care of eachother. We’re going to go in now. Don’t freeze your extremities off, you’ll be seeing each other in a day.” Inger scolds pulling Daniel back into their home, giving the two men time to say their goodbyes in private.

“I know it’s one day, but I’m still going to miss you like crazy.” Even admits sheepishly.

“Sleeping without you will suck” Isak pouts

“Oh? Is that all I’m good for? Keeping you warm at night?” 

“Of course not, there’s also keeping me warm during the day.”

Even swats at Isak in mock indignation and leans in for a slow kiss.

“It feels so official, finally getting a glimpse into the rest of your life.”

“And the rest of yours.”

“I think you are the rest of my life.” Even says catching Isak of guard.

“I think you are mine too” Isak confesses sliding his arms tighter around Even.

“Tomorrow.” Isak says, a small smile on his face. Tomorrow Even would meet Isak’s friends, not just hear the countless stories they shared. And he would officially be a part of his whole life. Yes, for the rest of it, he hopes.

“Yes, tomorrow at the train station.” Maybe just one more kiss.

“I’ll be there, waiting for you.” And another.

“If we keep at this, you won’t be” Just one last one.

“Okay okay” Isak sighs taking a step back before he changes his mind. “It’s just one day.” He’s not sure if he’s reassuring Even or himself. They still have months of long distance looming ahead of them. They have to be able to make it one day. 

“It’ll fly by in no time” Even reassures him and Isak just nods.

“Text me when you get home safe?” Home, the kollektiv, but right now it just feels like a place he sleeps and studies in. It feels more like he is leaving home behind right now. He grins at the realization and tilts his chin up for one final kiss.

“I will. See you tomorrow.” I love you, he doesn’t say. Not yet.

“See you tomorrow” Even nods holding the door to Isak’s car open and gently shutting it for him once Isak is inside. 

One quick stop to the donation center later, and he’s finally on on the road, making the 6 hour long drive back back to his apartment, back to his everyday life of classes, work and studying, with the occasional time spent with his friends. But this time it’ll be a life that includes Even.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> So I was supposed to be farther along in the story, but then the first half of this chapter happened. Though I'm really not that sorry it did <3


	28. Chapter 28

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Once again thank you to all of you taking the time out of your day to read this story, it never fails to blow me away that anyone out there would be reading something I post so thank you <3

“You’re back!” Eskild shouts into his face and wraps Isak into a crushingly tight hug the second he unlocks the door. Probably lying in wait at the door since the moment Isak texted that he was twenty minutes away while stopping for gas.

“All week long.” Linn deadpans behind them from the living room. “It’s been Isak this, Isak that. Don’t you know you’re not supposed to abandon him for extended periods of time? He gets separation anxiety.”

He’d be lying if he said he didn’t missed them Isak admits to himself while trying to awkwardly pat Eskild on the back while having his arms pinned to his side.

So still trapped he shoots back “you were supposed to take care of him while I was gone.”

Linn shrugs “I tried, but it’s like he imprinted himself on you like a baby duck.”

“Significantly less cute than a baby duck though” Isak grumbles “I’m talking platypus levels here.”

“Hey I can hear you” Eskild protests finally letting Isak go, shaking his head, glancing between the two of them.

“I open my heart and home up to the two of you and this is what I get in return. And I’ll have you know, the platypus is considered one of nature’s miracles by some.”

“More like nature’s joke” Isak replies cheekily.

“Et tu?” Eskild glances wounded at Linn who is trying her best not to crack up.

Isak catches Linn’s gaze again and shares in an overly dramatic eye roll with her as Eskild throws his hands up.

“Welcome back Isak” Linn smiles a small smile and shrugs “we did kinda miss you.”

“I kinda missed you guys too” Isak says giving Eskild another hug, erasing any evidence of a pout from his roommate’s face.

“We good?” He asks and Eskild tilts his head from side to side “maybe.”

“Because I’m not about to let you go until you say we are.”

“Okay fine. Fine! We’re great, now let me go or I’m about to serve you burnt potatoes for dinner.”

Isak grins, releasing him before stepping aside and pulling Linn into a quick embrace “I hope you guys didn’t make too much of a fuss about dinner” he says although his nose confirms that yes, they did in fact go all out.

“As far as Eskild is concerned, this is Christmas dinner. Come on, you have to see the table. He actually made me learn how to fold swans out of a napkin. Despite my ongoing protests of course.”

“Of course. Let me just send a quick text and I’ll join you.”

“Sounds good” the right corner of Linn’s mouth quirks up when she sees him pulling out his phone, but before he can ask her what it’s about, she walks back into the direction of the kitchen where he can hear Eskild moving about.

Even <3

Got home alright  
Miss you already

Miss you more <3

Sorry not possible

Oh I think it is

Nope, checked and I’ve already reached max level

Then I don’t think you can imagine just how much I miss you  
Guess I’ll have to show you exactly how much when I see you

Definitely looking forward to that

 

“When you’re done messaging your boyfriend, we’re all good to go” Eskild says popping his head into their hallway, teasing him kindly a moment later. Isak doesn’t even pretend that wasn’t the case. If it were up to him, he’d be up all night messaging him nonstop.

“Coming” he simply says putting his phone in his pocket and leaving his bag at the front door.

He’s taken aback by exactly how much effort his roommates put into this dinner when he sees the instagram worthy table setting despite the mismatched plates, glasses, and silverware.

“You weren’t kidding about the swans” he says in amazement.

“I would never kid about napkin swans” Linn tells him with a serious expression.

“You may complain about it now, but you just learned a valuable life skill, Linn.”

“Yes Eskild, because now whenever a conflict arises in my life, I can resolve it through the art of napkin swans.”

“I does look amazing” Isak has to admit.

“Great, now it’ll be napkin animals every holiday”

“And we’ll all be better off for it.” Eskild concludes their discussion by putting the last serving platter on their small table.

Surprisingly it takes until after dinner, while they are all unwrapping the gifts they got each other and after Linn had already gone to bed for the night, for Eskild to start asking about Even. _So he was your next door neighbour when you were kids and you didn’t know?_ Yes, no. Yes as in he was and no I didn’t know. _And you honestly didn’t know he was a famous director?_ No why would I. _But you’re together now, right?_ Yes. _And are you happy?_ Yes.

“Okay” Eskild finally says satisfied.

“What? That’s it? No asking about which side of the bed he prefers, what inspired him to pick up a camera in the first place? His favorite breakfast food maybe?”

“Nah” Eskild shrugs “you guys deserve your privacy.”

It’s a statement that floors Isak, never before has Eskild been the slightest bit concerned about boundaries. If anything, he sought out boundaries just to overstep them.

Yet just as soon as Isak accepts that he is in fact going to mind his own, Eskild grins at him “he’ll be here tomorrow so I can just ask him directly. You’d probably relay all of the information incorrectly anyways.”

“Eskild” Isak groans “whatever you do, please don’t scare him away.” More for the sake of it than anything else. If there are two people he’s sure will get on like a house on fire it’s Eskild and Even.

“Don’t worry” he dismisses “If he’s as into you as I’m sure he is, I could lay it on pretty thick and he’d still stick around. Sounds like you’ve got a keeper.”

And once more right as Isak is ready to let out a relieved sigh, Eskild speaks up again “though that doesn’t mean I won’t vet him good when he gets here.”

Isak lets out an exasperated sigh but knows there's no way he's getting out of this one. Despite all that, he’s certain that no matter how thick Eskild lays it on, none of it will be enough to push Even away even in the slightest.

But Eskild doesn’t dwell on the topic, he quickly moves on to talking about the Christmas party they had at work.

“I had to bring Linn as my plus one since you weren’t here and she wasn’t at all happy about it. But I am happy to report that I now have seen my boss pass out face first into the dessert platter because the man cannot hold his liquor.”

The two of them talk late into the night, Isak sharing some of his time at his mother’s house.

“I think she’d be so proud of you” Eskild beams at him.

“I hope so. I still miss her and it hurts, but at least I know now that everything will be alright. I think keeping the house was the right decision.” Isak nods

“What are you planning on doing with it? With med school and everything?”

“I was actually thinking of doing my residency near there and live in the house after my last year of school.”

“Wow that’s a big move.”

“Yeah. But I think it’s the right thing for me.”

“You know, I don’t say this enough, but I’m really proud of you Isak.” The words are enough to form a lump in Isak’s throat.

“I mean when I took you in all those years ago, you were just a smelly teenager running from who you were. Look at you now though. A doctor in training who’s at peace with himself. And also significantly less smelly.” At the last comment Isak sends one of the throw pillows flying at his head.

“Thanks you, seriously. For the dinner and waiting with the presents. And just for everything you’ve done for me. I genuinely appreciate it all.”

“Isak of course we would wait. It’s a family holiday and part of our family wasn’t here. We couldn’t open presents without you.” Eskild nudges his shoulder with his own to emphasize the point.

And if Isak is nearing the verge of tears from all of the emotions flooding through him, it’s probably because he’s had a long day.

“Alright, well I’m just about ready to pass out, so I will see you in the morning. Goodnight” Isak finally says patting Eskild’s shoulder before grabbing his bag from the entryway and heading into his bedroom.

“Night!”

Everything is exactly where he had left it when he opens the door. Walls bare, with the exception of a few posters and photos, his textbook still open on his desk, boxers lying on the floor next to the laundry basket, and bed unmade. But it doesn’t feel the same. Before it just felt normal, but now he knows it’s because before that was all he knew. Now it feels like his eyes have been opened to a whole new world, one of countless new possibilities.

 

Even<3

Goodnight  
16 hours to go

Counting every minute of it  
Goodnight <3


	29. Chapter 29

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> You all seriously make writing this so much fun <3 Thank you!

Even <3

3 hours  
This train ride is too long

2.5 hours  
<3

“Aww are you just texting each other the ETA? I didn’t realize you two were that far gone already.” Eskild says from behind Isak who is standing facing the kitchen counter, a half eaten cereal bowl and full cup of coffee next to him.

“Eskild! What did we say about boundaries?” Isak tries to sound irritated, but his current good mood leaves him untouchable.

“What? It’s not like you were sexting in the middle of the kitchen first thing in the morning. You’d never be that bold.” Eskild continues while pouring himself some of the freshly brewed coffee. Freshly brewed by Isak, the backbone of their kollektiv, thank you very much.

“Or wait, would you now? Do I have to start letting you know when I’m about to enter for fear of what I will find?

“This coming from the person who doesn’t know how a lock works? I can’t even count how many times one of us has walked in on you in countless positions.”

“Well now you’re exaggerating, it’s only been like 5 times, maybe 6. Okay it could have been 8.”

“Once would have been too many. I’m more familiar with your ass than I am my own.”

“Then can I recommend you film yourself when you’re with Even?”

Isak freezes with his own cup halfway to his lips before exhaling a painful sigh.

“Bye Eskild” He calls already on his way to his room.

“It’s a great way to improve your form” Eskild calls after him before Isak shuts the bedroom door behind him, eighty percent certain that Eskild was just doing it to wind him up. But that still leaves the other twenty… Shaking his head he looks at the notification on his phone.

Even <3

2 hours 15 minutes

If we keep going at this rate it will turn into the longest  
Two hours of our lives

They already are  
Painfully so

I’ll make every hour up to you in the next week

 

Eva

When does Even come in?  
Can’t wait to finally meet him

He’ll be here at 13.00  
You can meet him at the party tonight

Aww I don’t get a special introduction beforehand?

Nope, he’s all mine until then

Well I never imagined there would be a guy  
out there who could turn you into such a greedy bitch

And don’t you forget it

<3

<3

 

Even <3

I mean yes to all of that  
Obviously  
But also let’s chill on that front until I get there  
I don’t think getting a train boner will make time pass  
any quicker

You’re right  
Let’s save those until you get here

I can’t tell if you’re trying to help or make it worse

Lol okay okay complete topic change  
Everyone’s pretty excited to meet you

I can’t wait to meet them either

2 hours ;)

After a short knock his door opens and Eskild pokes his head inside.

“If we want alcohol for tonight we should go now. We’re also a bit short in the snack department.”

“Yeah alright, but-”

“At 12.45 you need to be at the train station, yes we’ll be done well before then.”

Isak rolls his eyes “it’s a miracle how you manage to make me sound like the annoying one of the two of us.”

“To be honest you’re both pretty up there” Linn who happens to be leaving her room at that point chimes in.

“Do you want to come with?” Eskild asks poking his head back out into the hall.

“And watch you both bicker about chunky versus extra chunky salsa? No thanks.”

“That happened one time” Isak defends.

“During that trip, yes. But anyways as much fun as all of that would sound, I am meeting some friends for coffee today before the party.”

“Alright well have fun” Eskild says before poking his head back into Isak’s room.

“Let’s go, we have to make it quick so we’re done before the man of your dreams arrives.”

Isak shrugs and follows Eskild. It’s just a quick and harmless liquour and snack run after all.

They are barely down the first aisle before it starts. Like it always does. This time it’s Eskild placing a bottle into his basket.

“Peach schnapps, Seriously? What are you, a white girl in her early twenties?”

“Spiritually? Yes.”

“What’s next, baileys and wine coolers? This is a party. You know what belongs at a party? Beer.”

“‘Oh look at me drinking beer because I am so male’. Well I have two words for you: Toxic. Masculinity.” Eskild says as he places a bottle of Rosé into his basket. All the while keeping direct eye contact with Isak.

“You know what else belongs at a party? Fun. This,” Eskild says pointing to the contents of his basket to which he added a bottle of sparkling wine “is fun. And that,” he points at the six pack Isak is in the middle of putting into his own basket “is boring. And also not the way to impress Even.”

Isak pauses at that. He hadn’t discussed if Even will be drinking tonight. He had told Isak that he usually doesn’t, with the exception of holidays. Not even at any of his film events. There were too many and often times he’d have a couple of them lined up day after day. And at Christmas when Even did drink, he limited himself to just one glass for the night.

“He doesn’t really drink. But I guess beer shouldn’t be his only option. Alright, maybe one bottle of sparkling wine in case” Isak relents, grabbing one for his basket.

“That’s the spirit” Eskild grins.

Surprisingly the rest of their grocery trip is uneventful enough with the exception of a few teasing remarks from Eskild at Isak’s constant texting and a small disagreement between snack flavours which was quickly remedied by getting both options. By the time they arrive back at the apartment, Isak has all of fifteen minutes to change and freshen up before he had to pick Even up from the train station.

“Do I look alright?” He asks walking by Eskild sitting in the living room on his phone and who gives him an appreciative once over.

“Yeah, looks good.”

“Okay” Isak nods but doesn’t move closer towards the door.

“What’s up?” Eskild asks looking back up when Isak still hasn’t moved.

“He’ll get along just fine with everyone right?”

“Look, as someone that has watched every single interview he’s done, not that we’ll be admitting any of that to him, he seems like a genuinely good and friendly person and just all around easy going. I can’t imagine him not getting along with anyone. And honestly we’re all so happy to see you so in love that we can’t wait to meet the person who managed to put that stupid grin on your face whenever you zone out.”

“Okay” Isak exhales a breath he didn’t know he was holding “okay I should get going then. I don’t want to have him wait. Thank you Eskild.”

“Anytime, this is why you have me as your guru.”

Twenty minutes later he’s parking the car and heading towards the entrance, giddiness taking over any nervous feelings from earlier. Had it really just been one day? It felt like longer. But all thoughts and musings exit his mind when he sees the train pulling up and Even’s almost two meter stature stepping out into the crowd and their eyes meet.

There was a time when Isak would have been too self conscious to greet his boyfriend with a kiss in public, but that time has long gone now. So when Even makes his way to the spot where Isak waits for him he isn’t the slightest bit self conscious about pulling him into an embrace and tilting his head up, asking for a kiss which Even is all too happy to gift him.

“I’ve waited over twenty four hours for that” Isak sighs when they pull apart.

“Feels longer” Even says leaning in again, giving him a quick peck this time instead.

“So much longer” Isak enthusiastically agrees, eyes wide. “But you’re here now and that’s all that matters. Come on.” Taking Even’s free hand into his, they make his way to Isak’s car where the moment the doors shut, they’re all hands and lips and tongues. Both trying to get as close as possible to the other, even if the console between the seats is digging into Isak’s side and he’s carefully trying to avoid from hitting the car horn.

“If we don’t stop here, I’m going to end up in your lap” Isak breathes against Even’s jaw.

“I see nothing wrong with you ending up right here,” Even grins slipping his hands into Isak’s shirt and running them upwards.

“Except the public setting” Isak groans finally deciding he has to be the adult and put a stop to it. For now at least.

With a heavy sigh he leans back in his seat and Even’s hands fall to his side. Neither can help but smile, seeing the other so disheveled. Not being able to take the sight of Even in that state any longer, Isak readjusts himself so he’s facing the front and buckles himself in as lets out yet another sigh today. Except this time for very different reasons.

Turning his head to face to Even he grins widely, unable to help himself, “I’m so glad you’re here.”

“Me too” Even runs his hand down the back of Isak's neck, causing him to shiver in just the right way.

“So tell me more about the train ride” Isak says putting the car into drive, trying desperately to have anything to get his mind off of Even’s hands all over him. The last thing he needs to do is get into a car accident because he was paying more attention to how his dick feels than the road.

“It wasn’t really eventful. I was sat next to an older lady knitting which made me think I should give it a try.”

“You want to try knitting now? I thought you had to wait to pick that up until you’re retired and run out of things to do.”

“Don’t you know? Knitting is now cool again amongst our generation.”

Isak grimaces “first we’re ruining the hotel and diamond industries, and now we’re bringing back knitting.”

“Mhm, and don’t forget urban gardening is all the rage right now as well.”

Glancing over to Even, Isak lets out a laugh “well what a time to be alive.”

They manage to behave all the way up the stairs to the apartment and even while Isak unlocks the door, letting Even in first.

“Let’s drop off your stuff in my room and then you can meet Eskild.” Isak says toeing his shoes off and leaving them next to Even’s.

He’s surprised not to hear Eskild moving around in the kitchen or watching something in the living room. Probably reading in his room Isak decides until he passes a note taped to the kitchen wall.

_Stepping out until the party starts. Enjoy the apartment. Remember we’re having guests tonight so all common areas should remain sanitary._

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> So when I sat down to write this chapter this morning I told myself I would absolutely get all the way through to the new year's eve party. But then the Eskild scenes popped into my mind and I had to give you guys more than just Isak heading to the train station, hence the slightly longer chapter. Hopefully we'll get to the new year's party in the next chapter, but I'm not convinced we will. As a result this fic may end up a couple of chapters longer because I am getting a bit off track and there are still a few things that need to happen.


	30. Chapter 30

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Yup, I called it. I didn't make it to new year's today either.
> 
> Now, I don't know what happened but I won't lie, this chapter is about 3/4 smut. And I'm posting it on a Monday morning no less. 
> 
> So if you don't want to read that, you can jump to approx the last quarter.  
> But I am going to update with a new year's chapter for Wednesday hopefully, so we will have plot progression this week.  
> I also did adjust the chapter count, but that's tentative and may very likely increase still. Depends on how much I derail again. 
> 
> Anyways as always I genuinely appreciate your lovely comments and kudos. They honestly keep me going.

Isak holds out the note for Even to see “do you want to tour now or later?”

“Definitely later” Even gazes at him with a whole new intensity in his eyes.

It takes a fraction of a second for them to meet halfway. Hands desperately tangled in hair, trying to keep each other as close as possible as their kiss turns frantic. But it’s not enough, it’s never enough. 

Isak doesn’t think he’s ever felt this level of feverish desire. No, he knows he never has. He barely has the brainpower to move things to his room as Even kisses and licks along his throat, taking his time, teeth grazing from time to time, drawing a long and wrecked moan from Isak. 

“Room” he whispers, it’s all the limited blood flow to his brain will allow.

“Which one” Even asks, lips moving against his throat with each word, simulating kisses on the already wet patch of skin.

“Right” he croaks when Even runs the back of his pointer and middle finger firmly over Isak’s jeans, right where he’s the hardest. 

It barely registers that Even is walking backwards, his ministrations on Isak never stopping, as he guides them towards the nearest room. And right then, Even’s right or Isak’s right, it doesn’t even matter at this point. For all he cares they could end up in Eskild’s room and it wouldn’t make a difference.

Luckily Isak does recognize his own room as he’s pushed back against the wall, air leaving his lungs from the force of it. He barely remembers to reach over and lock the already closed door, not willing to let anything interrupt his time, sealing them back into their own world. 

In no time at all, Isak makes quick work of Even’s sweater and shirt, before removing his own. He can’t help the sudden exhale the moment their bare chests touch. Feeling him flush against himself is comforting in a way he’s never experienced or imagined. 

And for just a few moments, they’re stood there, holding each other tight. 

“I missed you,” Even mumbles into his hair inhaling deeply “so fucking much. I have no clue how we’ll manage to survive when I have to leave.”

“Don’t think about that right now.” Isak pleads and drops to his knees, already unbuckling Even’s pants, determined to make him forget about anything other than them right this moment.

Even’s already half hard when Isak takes him into his mouth where he continues to grow hard. And Isak takes him in over and over again until he pulls off, looking up at Even.

“Hold my head in place.” He can see the shock visibly run through Even, watching him twitch.

“You sure?” Even asks breathless looking down into Isak’s eyes.

“Yes” Isak says determined and places Even’s hands at the back of his head.

It doesn’t take long before Even is coming and Isak does his best to remain relaxed until Even softly moves his hips backwards and falls from Isak’s mouth.

“Holy shit” Even gasps and pulls Isak up, embracing him tightly as he trails kisses down the side of his neck. Whispering endearments that light a fire inside of Isak against his skin, continuing down until he’s mouthing at his shoulder and his hands move to run up and down Isak’s arms. Hands continue to work lower until he is unbuttoning and removing Isak’s jeans. Which Isak is certain will have to be cleaned judging from the still growing wet spot on the front of his boxers. 

Isak closes his eyes and lets his head drop against Even’s shoulder, exhaling a deep groan, when Even reaches inside them to grab hold onto Isak and once again when Even’s hand starts to move while the other still roams over his body.

“Even, bed” he gasps, because he’s not sure how much longer he’s able to keep his knees from buckling beneath him. 

Even doesn’t even pause for a moment, simply does as he’s directed and brings Isak to a seated position on his bed, stepping out of the boxers pooled around his ankles. 

“Lie back” Even whispers and Isak doesn’t hesitate, spreading his legs for Even when he gently pulls his knees apart so he can kneel between them and take all of him.

“Hold on” Isak lets out after a couple of moments, no longer being able to handle not having the pressure Even’s body flush against him, and Even immediately moves back and looks at him with concern.

“Everything alright? Did I do something wrong?”

“Yes, I mean no you didn’t,” Isak smiles “come here” he tugs on Even’s hands until he’s right above him and pulls him down into a long, searching kiss. Looking for an answer to the I love you’s flying through his head. And when he’s certain he’s found the answer against Even’s lips, he comes into his waiting hand with a couple more thrusts.

Even tries to roll off of him, but Isak keeps him in place “hmm no, stay.”

“Alright, just let me clean you up” Even chuckles.

“Just grab my shirt from the ground, it’s fine” 

Even cleans his hand off before gently wiping off Isak’s chest and tossing the shirt back on the ground. Isak is about to move to sit up from his position, when Even places a hand back on his chest.

“Wait,” Even pauses above him “I want to take you in, all of you.” If it were anyone else, Isak would feel on display and vulnerable, especially now post orgasm. But this is Even and with him he only feels safe. 

Propping himself on one arm above him, Even runs the fingers of his free hand from Isak’s cheek to his parted lips and down to his chest, further down Isak’s side causing a shiver to course through him. He continues until Even’s hand rests on Isak’s rear for a moment before continuing down his thigh to his knee, where he pulls Isak’s leg up and to the side so he is resting between them, their hands gently roaming over the other.

“I missed you too.” Isak says into the quiet, “sleeping without you sucked.”

If this was what a day apart would do to them, sex after weeks or months apart until summer would probably kill them both. They were so fucked.

Even sighs into Isak’s neck “it didn’t feel right without you either.”

“We’re fucked” Isak mumbles.

“We’re fucked” Even agrees, adjusting himself slightly to take some of the weight off of Isak.

“My parents say hi by the way” he adds.

“And you thought right now was the right time to share that with me?” Isak laughs incredulously.

Even shrugs “I probably would have forgotten later.”

“Well that was very considerate of you then.”

“Wasn’t it though?”

“Okay I’m sorry but that’s all the time I’m willing to spend talking about your parents while we’re literally lying dick to dick.”

“That’s fair” Even grins and slowly circles his hips drawing a groan out of Isak who is still too sensitive.

“So will I be meeting all of your friends tonight?” Even asks instead.

“Yes and talking about them is also off the table right now.”

Even smiles, gently catching Isak’s earlobe between his teeth “then what is on the table?” 

“Literally anything else.” Isak gasps.

“Hmm did you know you were my inspiration for Minute for Minute?” Even mentions casually as if talking about the weather.

“What? How is that even possible?” Isak asks incredulously, his attention now thoroughly captured.

Even shrugs “I used to try to see you whenever I came back from school. But you were never there. You were usually out with your friends and eventually I stopped trying.”

“I didn’t know that” Isak says quietly, mind reeling.

“Mhm, and I didn’t really think about it too much until later. Especially when your mom would share all these stories about you. I started to wonder if maybe there wasn’t a place out there were things could have been different and you and I were friends or something.”

“Like another universe?” Isak asks curious.

“Hmm yeah I guess kinda like that.” Even agrees. 

“And I was always so impressed with your strengths and accomplishments. You just seemed so fearless. I figured that if you were in my position, you would never worry about failing. Because you took chances and you persevered. So I sat down with Mikael and wrote a world where everything I wanted was possible.”

Isak is unable to hold back at his confession and adds his own “watching that film was the whole reason I didn’t drop out of University.”

Even looks at him surprised, eyebrows raised.

“I was so overwhelmed with work and my classes, that I completely lost all perspective.” Isak explains. “I was ready to quit everything. And then one day Eskild dragged me to this film festival. I was ready to walk out, but when it started, it captured my attention immediately. I couldn’t move from my seat. It made me realize how important those little decisions, the minutes, were in making up the big picture. For the first time in a long time you made me see what the big picture was.”

They both lie there in a comfortable, lazy silence, trying to take in the full meaning of their confessions. 

“Do you believe in fate?” Even suddenly asks.

Isak considers the question for a moment. Normally he wouldn’t, but… “when it comes to you, I do.” Isak admits.

“I think I do too” Even whispers “it’s like we had so many paths leading to each other, we just had to choose one at the right time.”

Eventually they end up moving and Isak ends up lying against Even’s chest, raking his fingers all over it, moving the slightest bit lower each time. 

“If you keep at that, I’m going to be ready to go again right away” Even groans through closed eyes, pulling Isak closer.

“Good. We have at least five hours, and I plan to make use of every single one of them.” Isak looks up to find his eyes now open and winks at him, kissing his chest all over. Ready to make good on his promise.


	31. Chapter 31

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> This one is a bit later than usual, but i am taking a small vacation and am snowshoeing at the moment. I'll also be taking my first ever ski lesson in the morning so hopefully that will go over well and I won't spend all day wiping out (though I probably will). But anyways I won't be back home until late Friday so the next update may have to wait until Saturday.
> 
> I just wrote most of this chapter on my phone and it wasn't the easiest so hopefully it won't look horrible formatting wise.
> 
> And as always you guys are so sweet to me, thank you for that!! You brighten my day and make me want to spend all my time on this story <3

They’re still lying in bed, this time freshly showered and fully clothed, when they hear the front door close.

“The two of you better be dressed. I gave you more than enough time” Eskild’s voice carries from the entryway and through the half open door into Isak’s bedroom.

“Come on” Isak smiles at Even, “he’s been impatient about meeting you since he found out you were staying next door. Better not keep him waiting or I’m afraid he may actually combust.”

“What a horrifying first impression. Can’t have that.” Even accepts the Isak’s outstretched hand, entwining their fingers as he lets Isak pull him up.

“Nope.” Isak says heading into the hallway, Even in tow.

When they reach the kitchen, he can see Eskild trying to busy himself, knowing the plates didn’t actually need rearranging. 

“Eskild, Even.” Isak points to each of them in introduction once Eskild turns around at the sound of them entering, smile bright as ever. But it’s all Isak can get out, because in true Eskild fashion, he forgoes all formality and envelopes Even into an embrace as soon as he’s within reach. 

“It’s so nice to finally meet you, Even” Eskild says while Even, who not missing a beat, steps into the hug like he was seeing a long lost friend.

“You too, Eskild” he smiles brightly stepping back “Isak’s been telling me a lot about you. I feel like I already know you.” Isak had talked about him a lot, especially when he was opening up about his time after he moved away from home. Eskild was simply too big of a part of his life not to talk about.

“It better all have been nice things” Eskild points his finger at Isak in accusation.

Isak shrugs, “I’m not about to lie to him.” 

“I promise they were all quite kind.” Even chuckles.

“Covering for him already” Eskild teases “well that's all kinds of promising”

Even laughs pulling Isak closer to him. “I think it is” he nods.

“So Isak was telling me you'll be filming a new project in a week” Eskild asks.

“Yes I am. I co-wrote the script with my friend Mikael and we're quite excited to film it together as well. He was out finalizing the shooting locations just recently. We want to go for a very strong nature backdrop for this one. I think it has the potential to blow the rest of my movies out of the water visually.”

If there's one thing Isak will never tire of, it's listening to Even talk about his passion. And from the looks of it neither can Eskild. 

“Personally I think all your movies are exceptional so I'm sure this one will be no different. Watch, you'll be cleaning out at the awards ceremony once again.” Eskild tries to shrug casually, but everyone within a mile could see through that one. Isak could recognize when Eskild was starstruck and this is definitely it. 

Even laughs “I think that was a one off. Plus I don't believe it's fair to all the other hardworking individuals on every other nominated movie if they're not recognized for their efforts and talents.” Isak couldn't be more proud of how genuine Even is in everything he does and says.

“Anyways, enough about me. I was told you also work in theatre on top of your job?”

“I teach a theatre class” Eskild nods, “and have used your films as inspiration more than once. Even to teach them about the importance of hitting their emotions just right and with the rest of the crew about choosing the perfect song for such a powerful combination.”

“You know, if you want while I'm here is can always come meet everyone” Even offers.

“That would blow everyone's minds. Yes please if Isak here isn't keeping you too busy that is.” Eskild’s glance at Isak screams don't ruin this for me. 

And while nothing would give Isak more entertainment than messing with his long time roommate, he opts for the kinder route. He did after all give them the entire apartment for the day.

“I'm sure you can wrestle him away from me for a couple of hours.”

“Will he really have to fight that hard?” Even grins.

“What can I say, I'm attached.” 

“Oh look at you two being upsettingly cute.” Eskild turns to the counter and hands them both handfuls of decorations. 

“Now that we have everything settled, we have a party happening in two hours and I'm putting you two on decorating duty.”

“Last time you handed me streamers you got upset with me”

“Yes because instead of hanging them up all over the room, you hung them all in one corner of the room.” Eskild sighed exasperated.

“I'm not sure I can do better than that.”

“Yes you can and you will. You have a boyfriend to impress.” Dammit.

“Alright boyfriend, let's go,” Isak sighs.

It ends up taking the two of them all of am hour to decorate the living room, kitchen and entryway. With minimal fixes from Even. Although Isak appreciates how out of his way he went to distract Isak before moving something of his around. 

It’s not long before their friends start streaming in and although Isak tries his best to introduce Even to everyone, all of whom are excited to meet him, he soon finds he's neglected a few people.

“I’m just going to grab some more water,” Even says pointing at his empty glass.

“Sure thing” Isak smiles placing a peck on his cheek.

And moments after Even leaves, Isak feels a light punch to his right shoulder.

“There you are, you little shit.” Eva accuses when she appears at his side and pulling him into a hug. “What’s with you not stopping by?”

“I only arrived last night.” Isak defends squeezing her tight.

“That’s almost twenty four hours. Plenty of time,” she crosses her arms stepping back.

“Well I’ve also been a bit busy today.” Isak admits blushing.

“Yeah you were!” She teases, looking around “speaking of your boy toy, where is he now? I haven’t met him yet.”

Isak looks around for a moment and catches a glimpse of him in the kitchen now, ne surrounded by Magnus and Vilde. It couldn't have been more than a few minutes but he knows if he doesn't help Even out, he'll be stuck there all night. Though knowing Even, he'd still smile and tell everyone he had a great time. And mean it. How he had managed to find someone that sincere, Isak will never know.

“Hold on, I'll introduce you.” he says heading towards Even.

“Hey Vilde, hey Magnus do you mind if I steal Even from you for a few moments?” He asks.

“Nah man, go ahead” Magnus tells him with a brief one armed hug “glad to see you back.”

“Thanks, we should have a guys night soon.”

“For sure” Magnus nods before turning to Vilde and resuming their conversation.

When he finds Eva again, she's sitting on the couch with Jonas.

“Even, this is Jonas and Eva and guys, this is Even.” 

“About time!” Eva exclaims standing up to give Even a friendly hug “welcome to the family” she grins pulling back. 

“Everyone seems to be sharing that same sentiment.” Even chuckles.

“What can I say” Jonas chimes in with a handshake “if you make Isak happy, we're happy. We're quite an easy bunch.” 

Isak can't stop from groaning internally at the intended dual meaning, but Even simply takes it in stride and with a smile.

“I would expect no less coming from his best friend.” Even nods at him respectfully at which Jonas seems pleased enough and gives him a hug of his own.

“We're so happy for you guys” Jonas smiles. 

You'd think they were planning his wedding already Isak grumbles under his breath but apparently just loud enough for Even to overhear. The older man puts his arm back around Isak's shoulders and gives him a reassuring squeeze. 

As the night continues on without a hitch, the two of them even get a chance to dance which usually Isak doesn't care much for but like everything else, it's different with Even around.

But eventually something starts to nag at him.

It’s not that he minds being around his friends and sharing Even with them, but this night holds something special. It’s their first new year’s. Hopefully the first of many to come. But standing in a room with all the people he holds dear and sharing a kiss just doesn’t seem enough.

At ten minutes to midnight Isak looks out the window for a moment and reaches for Even’s hand, the idea taking shape inside his head. He leads him towards the apartment door and grabs both their jackets, waiting as Even slips his shoes on.

“Do you want a private moment with me in the stairwell?” Even teases once the door closes behind them.

“Nope, just had a better idea.” He says, not revealing his plan, continuing up the stairs until they reach a closed door labeled “No Public Access” Isak pushes it open to reveal the rooftop of their building.

“Here” he hands Even his jacket while he puts his own on to protect them both from the winter night.

“It looks beautiful” Even looks out at the city in awe, wrapping his arms around Isak’s shoulders. New year’s was only ever an excuse for him to party with his friends. Never before did it have a magical feel to it. Of countless possibilities to come. How different things always feel when Even’s at his side.

Isak snaps out of his musings and quickly glances at his phone, not wanting to miss it. Five more minutes. He’s going to have to time this just right.

“I come out here from time to time. It helps me remember to think about the larger picture. About what’s really important.” Isak says leaning into Even’s warmth.

“And what’s most important to you right now, this minute?” Even asks quietly.

“You. Us.” Isak looks out at the streets, barely able to see the waterline in the distance.

Even nods “you’re also what’s most important to me.”

Isak smiles when the voices of the people heading into the streets, ready to begin the countdown.

“You’re the best thing that happened to me this year” he confesses quietly when he hears it start. “In many years actually.”

“And it may be a bit soon, but I’ve never been more certain.” Isak continues, gazing up into Even’s fond eyes.

“I love you.”

The answering smile on Even’s lips radiates pure happiness as he leans in, tucking a lock of hair behind Isak’s ear.

Foreheads touching and noses brushing up against each other, Even quitely shares an “I love you too” before finally going in for the kiss. One. In that moment the sky lights up around them.

However, the kiss only lasts the briefest of moments, because Even starts to shake against him and Isak realizes he’s trying to hold back a laugh. But he’s unsuccessful and pulls his lips back, radiating happiness.

“Did you time this?” he laughs over the sound of the fireworks.

“Maybe” Isak lifts his shoulder, a smile playing on his lips.

“That has got to be the most romantic thing anyone has ever done for me.” Even’s eyes barely visible from glee.

“Well stick with me, and you’ll be romanced for the rest of your life.” 

“I think I’d like that. I’d really like that. Happy new year’s baby.” Even answers sincerely, taking a hold of Isak and kissing him until he’s breathless.


	32. Chapter 32

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Sorry it’s so late in the day, I kept getting distracted by a new fic idea. So I’ve had to change the format for the rest of this story a little because I have to take us all the way to May/June and I don’t want to increase the chapter count to 100+. Because of that these chapters will be a little bit longer, but still cover everything I wanted them to. Though they will probably be of varying length because there are times when the two of them are not together and I don’t want to drag those out.
> 
> I hope you guys don’t mind this change too much. My current plan is to have this story done by next Sat/Sun so I can move onto some other things and hopefully give these two the ending they deserve <3

January

There are a couple of ways Isak imagines spending his week with Even: him on top of Even in bed, Even on top of him in bed, lying side by side in bed, or lying head to toe in bed. The point is, it involved a lot of time in bed. And yes maybe in those fantasies he does manage to neglect the fact that he has to go back to class. But outside of those few hours, his plans still remain solid.

What he doesn’t expect is to spend almost all of it surrounded by his friends and for Even to integrate into his life completely. What he doesn’t expect is a glimpse into what their life could be like once they are both settled in the same place. And Isak is loving every minute of it.

*

He still has two days before his first class starts back up and he’s ready to make the most of it by sleeping late and lying in bed all day lazily making out with Even as they had the day before.

That all gets derailed however when he is slowly pulled out of his sleepy haze, out of one of the most amazing dreams. He can’t even recall the last time a dream has made him feel this good. But when he opens his eyes the pleasant sensation doesn’t end, it just becomes stronger, better. Isak glances down, catching Even’s eye as he continues to make Isak feel amazing with his mouth. And he can’t help but reach down and run his hand through Even’s hair who leans into his hand before continuing. It takes no time at all after that sight before Isak is coming, trying to keep it down for the benefit of his roommates.

“Good morning, baby” Even says tucking him back into his boxers and lying down in his spot next to Isak with a quick peck on his lips, looking satisfied.

“It is now” Isak grins, wide awake. But when he looks around the room he finds it still dark.

“What time is it?” He asks confused looking around for his phone, but he had left it in his pants which are all the way across the room.

“06:00” Even beams at him.

“Six? What the fuck- Why?” Isak gives him a betrayed look.

“You promised Eskild that we would go cross country skiing with him today.”

“What? No I didn’t. When?”

“You agreed to it yesterday. When you two were talking through the door.”

“Yeah, to make him go away.” Isak groans turning on his stomach and curling around his pillow.

“Well you’re awake now, may as well make the most of it.” Even pats his ass before standing up.

“Yeah unfortunately.” Isak grumbles before realization kicks in. “Wait a minute, so all of this was just-” He cuts off, floundering to find the right words to sum up his deceit.

“How else was I supposed to wake you this early and make sure you were in a good mood?” Even laughs putting on his shirt.

“That’s playing dirty Even Bech Næsheim,” Isak accuses “that shouldn’t be allowed.”

“You did enjoy it though, didn't you? I know I did.” Even wags his eyebrow at him.

“That’s besides the point.”

“How about round two, would that make it up to you and get you out of bed?”

“Maybe” Isak finally says after pretending to think for a moment. “I guess there’s only one way to find out.”

An hour later they do make it out of bed, get dressed, and meet Linn and Eskild who are already mid breakfast at the kitchen table.

“About time. We were about to flip a coin to see who had to knock on the door to come get you.” Linn says pushing a plate of eggs towards the two of them.

“The sun isn’t even up yet, I don’t see a reason to be up yet either on one of my last days off.” Isak yawns digging into his plate.

“You agreed to it, Isak” Eskild chides him looking too pleased.

“You knew I’d say anything to get you to go away.”

“Maybe. But a promise is a promise.”

“Well I’m here, aren’t I?”

“Yes and we all couldn’t be happier.”

*

After a day spent out in the freezing cold, there’s nothing Isak wants more than to cuddle up under a blanket next to Even. But those plans seem to be interrupted by Eskild proposing a game night. So he settles for a hot cocoa and snuggling into Even’s side on the couch as they play their way through half the board games they own.

“Hey Isak?” Eskild calls after Even already left to get ready for bed.

“Hmm?”

“Thanks for spending the day with us.”

Isak smiles and shrugs, “it was fun”

“Yeah but Even only has a couple of days left here, I get why you’d want to keep him to yourself.”

“Part of me does,” Isak admits “but I like seeing him in every part of my life, with my friends, just doing something as simple as playing a board game together. It feels like he belongs, like he’s really a part of all of it.”

“Well you two look good together. What you two have is real. It’s lasting.”

“I think so too.” Isak says.

*

“I vote for National Treasure” Jonas chimes in.

In honor of Even being there, they decided to move up their monthly movie night, a night they had designated for all of them to catch up after it became too difficult to get everyone together for weekly dinners.

“Yes!” Isak exclaims leaning in for a high five drawing a collective groan from the rest of the group.

“Sorry Isak, overruled. We’ve watched it twice already and that’s twice too many.” Linn says shooting them both down.

“How about we watch Before Sunset” Vilde says after a few more unsuccessful titles are called out.

“Ooh that one’s good, though I like After Sunset the best.” Magnus adds “What?” he asks when Jonas looks at him “there’s nothing wrong with enjoying a well made romance.”

“Even, what do you think?” Eskild asks.

“The whole trilogy is fantastic,” Even nods “but Before Midnight easily has to be my favorite.”

“But they’re fighting for half the movie.” Vilde looks at him confused.

“True. But it’s what happens after the ‘and they lived happily ever after’, proving that their love was and is in fact real and that they still have their ups and down even almost twenty years later. It looks at the consequences of their earlier choices and we see how they still struggle with everyday life. Even with all that, they continue to learn to love one another in different ways, love each other in conflict. And in the end they don’t love each other despite their imperfections, but because of them. It’s all around one of the most realistic portrayals of love I’ve seen in film.”

The words send a warmth rushing through Isak’s body and Even gives his hand a gentle squeeze.

“Okay I vote Even pitches every movie for movie night from now on.” Mahdi calls out “that was beautiful dude.”

“Alright, I’ll grab the kleenex and snacks, Before Midnight it is.” Eva says standing up from her seat on the floor.

Isak wants to focus on the movie, he really does, but he can’t help but draw constant comparisons between Jesse and Celine and Even and himself. Where would they be in twenty years time. Would Even be able to love him because of all of his imperfections and would they make it when they were at their worst?

It’s not until Even leans in and whispers “one day at a time, one minute at a time, for the rest of our lives” that Isak’s mind finally settles and his heart begins to flutter instead.

*

The next morning on his first day back to school, Isak is woken up in a shower of kisses.

“Hmm yes, yes to all of this” he smiles, eyes still closed until Even’s kisses reach his lips.

“Morning” Even whispers against them.

“You’re spoiling me.” Isak says reciprocating the kiss and tugging at Even, wanting him on top of him.

“Sorry, you don’t have time for that” Even pouts “I let you sleep in a bit because we were up late last night.” When was the last time anyone had fussed over him this way?

“Come on, I made you breakfast and packed your lunch. All you have to do is shower and get dressed.” Even says caressing the side of Isak’s face.

“I love you, did I tell you that yet today?”

“You literally just woke up” Even chuckles.

“That’s no excuse.” Isak pulls him in for a dizzyingly long kiss “I love you. So fucking much.”

“I love you too” Even says kissing the tip of Isak’s nose before standing up and putting some distance between the two of them to try to avoid any further temptation.

“Come have breakfast with me before you leave?”

“Of course,” Isak nods brightly, heading to the shower.

It feels almost bittersweet getting to have all of these moments with Even, knowing that they are only temporary and in less than a week he’ll have to get back to waking up to the annoying sound of his alarm clock. If he could only bottle these moments, keep them with him during their time apart. But knowing that this is what he has to look forward to for hopefully the rest of his life, makes it just that much more bearable. For Even he can be strong for just a few months. Because in the end, what are a few months in exchange for a lifetime.

*

“You’re in a good mood for your first day back” Sana greets him when he takes a seat next to her.

“Just had a good morning.” Isak shrugs checking his phone.

Even<3

Have a great day <3

You too <3  
Good luck with Eskild’s theatre group tonight

“It wouldn’t happen to have anything with a blonde, blue eyed man, about this tall?” Sana asks holding her hand up to demonstrate his height.

“Maybe” Isak clears his throat.

“Well happy looks good on you. You deserve it.” She smiles.

“Thanks. How are you and Yousef, did you have a good time at his parents’ for new year’s? We missed you.”

“Yeah, they were lovely as always. They’re even considering moving closer now that we’re planning the wedding.” She says grinning.

“Wait a minute, you got engaged?” Isak asks shocked.

“Yup over the holiday break.” Sana fights to keep the grin from growing but in the end she loses out.

“Congratulations Sana” Isak exclaims going in for a hug.

“So,” Sana says once they’ve settled down “we both know I’m going to beat you in this class, right?”

“You wish, you think you can plan a wedding and keep up a perfect score?”

“You think you can be that in love and focus on studying?” Sana smirks back.

*

“I found out one of my friends got engaged over the holidays.” Isak says when he’s getting ready for bed later that night.

“That’s so funny, so did one mine.” Even glances at him before getting under the covers on his side “I guess the holidays are a time for everyone to get together.” He winks at Isak.

“Did you mean what you said about the rest of our lives?” Isak asks getting in next to him.

“Only if you’ll have me.” Even says brushing his lips against Isak’s.

“Hmmm” Isak looks out the window in thought until Even pokes him in the side, drawing an embarrassing squeak out of him.

“Hey you’re supposed to answer that yes you’ll have me.” Even pouts, continuing to poke at Isak.

“Okay okay! Yes I will! But know that the answer was given under duress.” Isak laughs when Even turns to tickling him.

Even shrugs, stopping, “I’ll take what I can get.” And leans in for a long and lazy kiss that quickly grows heated and needy.

*

As blissfully happy as they have become, the day before Even has to leave finally does arrive. They both try to remain as chipper for the other as they can. Neither wanting to talk about the long separation looming over them. It’s not until night falls and they’re naked between the sheets that they’re finally honest with one another.

“I want to feel you for days after you’ve gone” Isak whispers.

And it’s all either of them needs. All restraint falling to the wayside as rough hands grab at each other, mouths leaving bruises behind all over. It’s slow, it’s rough, it’s fast, but most of all the memories they leave all over their bodies are lasting.

But as he’s coming down from his orgasm, Isak feels a lump begin to form in his throat and he can’t hold back the tears burning at the back of his eyes. Turning he hides his face in the crook of Even’s neck, clutching him tightly.

“Baby” Even whispers brokenly when he feels the wetness touch his skin.

“I know it’s not forever,” Isak whispers almost soundlessly “but it still hurts.”

“We’re going to be together soon.” Even whispers fiercely, voice wavering, “and until then we’ll still be there for each other. We’ll help one another get through this. We’ll make it. If there’s one thing I’m more certain of than anything, it’s that.”

The next time they make love it’s slow, with Even kissing away Isak’s tears until they mix with his own.

*

Last time they had parted it was only for a day. This time it’s for months. And once again no matter how hard Isak tries, this time he’s unable to hold back the tears. But neither is Even. They draw their teary goodbye out for as long as they can until they have to part.

“Remember it’s only temporary.”

Isak nods.

“I love you.”

“I love you too.”

“We’ll talk every day,” he reassures him.

“I’m holding you to that,” Isak smiles tearily.

They only get one final quick kiss before Even has to board or risk missing this train completely.

 

Even<3

I love you, baby  
Forever

I love you too  
Forever

*

When Isak falls asleep that night he thinks it might be one of the worst feelings he’ll have to endure during their separation. But he’s wrong, at least at night he still got to talk to Even on the phone until he fell asleep. What hits him hard is waking up alone the next morning. No hands running all over him, no being showered in kisses, no Even there watching him wake up with that brilliant smile of his, or that expression of awe he wears when Isak sometimes catches him looking.

But when he checks his phone he’s met with a “Good morning baby, don’t be late for class <3” and he’s left to feel just that much lighter.

Just a couple of months, they are stronger than time. They could do this.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Omg they’re so ridiculously domestic and I’m loving every single minute of it. Also I’m sorry <3 They’ll be back together soon I promise! The last bit did hurt a bit to write.


	33. Chapter 33

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I can’t believe I only get one more week with these versions of Isak and Even. And you guys, just the sheer amount of love you have shown this fic is overwhelming. Thank you x 1000. Thank you for every single kudos and every comment. And thank you for taking the time out of your day to read this story <3
> 
> Also this was such a fun chapter to write. Not even being in two seperate parts of the country will stop these two.

February

He can’t stop looking at the clock during his last class of the day. Only fifteen more minutes. Fifteen minutes and he is going to be talking to Even on the phone for the thirty minutes they managed to carve out before Isak has to run to his shift at work.

It’s the one thing that keeps Isak going, their almost daily phone calls. Sometimes they take place when Isak first wakes up. He likes those, because he can pretend Even is standing right there, waking him up. But lately it’s been mainly early afternoon calls because Even’s schedule has him on night shots at the moment. Isak doesn’t necessarily mind those, but they are usually rushed because they’re left scheduling them right after Isak’s class ends and before his work shift starts. Sometimes that means talking to Even while he’s walking down the street which means their conversation is more reserved.

But his favorite calls are the ones right before the both of them go to bed. It’s easier to pretend the person he loves is lying right next to him when he can hear his voice carrying him straight into his dreams. And there’s always the quiet good night whispered as one of them falls asleep on the other. This of course on top of the non-stop texting whenever they can find a minute.

It’s different, but it’s manageable. Not to say that he doesn’t miss Even, but all the conversations and phone sex will never compare to the simple feeling of being in his arms.To feel cherished and loved in a way that Even can only make him feel in person.

“You’re fidgeting” Sana whispers elbowing him.

“Sorry” He grinds out. It wasn’t a gentle elbow either.

Five minutes he notes when he looks back at the clock, starting to pack up his belongings ever so slowly. He normally hates people that pack up before the end of class with a passion, but when it comes to Even an exception can be made.

“Hey baby” he says as soon as his phone rings once outside the classroom.

“Hi” he can hear the smile in Even’s voice. The same smile that’s playing on his lips now in reaction.

“I fucking missed you, you know that?” They hadn’t been able to talk the past two days because Isak had to pull a double shift at work both days. Partially because someone had called in sick, and partially because he could use the money.

“I’ve missed you too, I think Mikael was just about ready to put me on a plane back, I could barely focus on anything.”

“Well tell him I would wholeheartedly support that decision if it wasn’t at the cost of your career” Isak says getting on the train. He hates talking on the phone in public, he always got so quiet and awkward. Not wanting to draw anymore unnecessary attention to him.

“Well it wouldn’t necessarily be at the cost of it, but it wouldn’t look great either.”

“Mhm” Isak agrees

“You’re on the train right now, aren’t you?” Even teases

“Mhm”

“Well that’s fine, because I have something to share. I’ve got a proposal.”

“I’m listening” Isak says curiosity piqued.

“How about you come and visit for the Easter long weekend in March? We get a few days off but it’s not long enough to get more than a day with you after travel time.”

“Yes a million times yes.” he exclaims causing the elderly lady sitting across from him to look over.

“I would love nothing more. Let me just make sure I can get the time off from work.” But Isak already knows even if he has to trade shifts and work a fe doubles, he will make the time to see Even.

“Great, so tell me what I’ve missed the past two days.”

*

Even<3

Saw this tree. It made me think of you

Why a tree though

Because trees give life and symbolize a bright future  
And you’re both to me baby

Holy shit  
I may have fallen in love with you all over again

But honestly everything I see makes me think of you  
Yesterday there was this baby on set with the cutest nose  
And all I could think of was you

But I don’t have a cute nose

I think I’m the better judge of that  
I’ve watched you sleep enough to memorize it  
It’s definitely cute

 

Creep  
<3

Only for you <3

*

  
Inger

Thank you so much for the cookies, scarf, and the pictures  
The scarf and pictures are beautiful and the cookies delicious

You are so very welcome my dear  
Just something to tide you over

 

Even<3

Your amazing mother just sent me a care package

Umm where’s mine?!

You’re always welcome to come over and I’ll share it with you ;)  
She even included some pictures of us at Christmas

Send me a picture of them

You want me to snap a picture of a bunch of pictures?  
Of course you would  
It’s something your pretentious ass would do on purpose  
And consider it artsy

You found me out  
Also please keep the glare at a minimum  
So I can print them and hang them up

You’re too much

I remember you saying I was just enough  
Yup  
It may even have involved a lot of moaning  
And you saying I was opening you up just perfectly  
;)

Omg Even I’m at work  
And now I have a boner  
We’re having a call tonight  
And you’re finishing what you’ve started

Oh I’m planning on finishing  
And immediately starting back up again

*

“Put your phone away or I’m taking it away.” Eva stares Isak down across her kitchen table, putting her fork down. “I invited you for dinner so we could catch up not so that I could watch you blush and giggle at your phone.”

“Okay okay, just let me send one more text.” Isak says, head still down looking at the screen.

Even<3

Gotta go before Eva takes my phone

Can’t have that  
Videocall tonight?

Absolutely

“That was more than one text” Eva says walking over to stand next to him, holding her hand out for the device.

“Hold on, one more” Isak rushes trying to keep the phone out of her reach while still typing.

Even<3

<3

“There. Done.” He says putting it back into his pocket.

“You two are ridiculous. Ridiculous.” She says pointing her finger at him in emphasis before going back to her seat.

“You’re calling us ridiculous? Should I remind you of how you and Jonas used to be when you first started dating? No wait, how you still are?”

“We are nothing like you,” Eva defends.

“Oh yeah? You two still create spotify playlists for each other.”

“Oh and Even doesn’t do that for you?” She shoots back.

“Nope” Isak smirks.

“Give me your phone. Come on I just want to check.”

“Okay fine. Here, I have nothing to hide.”

“Aha! What’s this? “

“Those are song recommendations. That’s different.”

“You mean in the form of a playlist labeled “For my Isak <3”?”

Isak falters. Okay maybe they are that couple.

“Alright maybe we’re a little bit ridiculous.” He relents.

“There, was that so hard to admit?” She asks spearing her salad triumphantly.

*

“Hi” Isak grins when Even answers the call.

“Hey Baby” Even’s radiant face beams back at him.

“Fuck you’re beautiful” the words are out of his mouth before he can stop them, a gut reaction to seeing Even for the first time in days.

“You think so?” Even laughs, “even completely sleep deprived? Look at these bags under my eyes.” Even says moving the camera closer for emphasis.

“Pretty sure I’ve still never seen you look better.”

“Well you’re looking pretty hot yourself. I had a dream about you.” Even moves back so his whole face is in focus once more.

“Ooh what kind of dream?” Isak asks wagging his eyebrows.

“I wish,” Even chuckles. “No, it wasn’t that type of dream. We were living in two different places and we kept trying to get to each other, but no matter what we tried, we never could. Like fate kept interfering. Until finally we just stopped trying and there was no us anymore.”

“Sounds more like a nightmare.” Isak says looking concerned. Is that why Even is looking so tired? It can’t have only been the filming. Even is always careful to make sure he gets enough sleep and remains in control over his schedule.

“Kind of was” Even shrugs running a hand through his messy hair.

“Well that’s never going to happen baby. Not to us. We’ll be together in no time at all.” Isak reassures him. And means it. He’s not about to let him go, not now that he’s finally found the love of his life.

Even smiles back, looking more relieved than he had a moment ago.

“I’m not about to let you go now.”

“Me neither” Even grins elated.

*

Even<3

Already booked the tickets for March  
Can’t wait to see you again  
<3

Can’t wait to finally hold you again  
<3


	34. Chapter 34

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> It looks like a writing weekend for me <3  
> And again because I can't say this enough, thank you all of you for reading <3.

March

“Woah, did you get any sleep last night?”

“Two hours maybe?” Isak says throwing his bag on the desk and dropping into his chair. “This class is going to be the death of me.”

“I know what you mean,” Sana sighs “I have two more reports due this week and I haven’t even started on one of them.”

“Is that all it is though?” She asks as he rummages through his bag, growing more frantic with each passing moment.

“Shit I forgot my pen. How the fuck could I forget that.” Isak mutters irritated.

“Here, just take one of mine” Sana shoots him a concerned look.

“Thanks,” he exhales, shutting his eyes in an attempt to calm down. He’s not sure where all this pent up frustration is coming from. He thought he had it under control, but apparently not.

“Hey, Isak. Are you okay?” Sana asks softly.

“Sorry. I think it’s the five cups of coffee.” Normally when he’s operating on two to three hours of sleep and vats of caffeine, he’s full of hyper energy. But instead he’s running on empty, the anxiety he’s been able to keep at bay for the past few months slowly rearing its head again.

Yes, cup after cup of coffee and a lack of sleep are the worst for his anxiety, but he doesn’t exactly have the luxury of giving anything up. Fewer work hours are not an option, not if he wants to be able to make rent every month. He’s also not about to drop his class load and have it take any longer than necessary. And his calls with Even...No. That’s not even on the list of possibilities.

“Are you sure that’s all it is?” No. He knows it’s not.

“Maybe not all of it.” Isak shrugs, “I just have to see if I can juggle a few things around. Don’t worry about it, it’ll be fine.” He manages a smile but by the looks it’s not a convincing one.

“Okay,” she says skeptically. “If you need help studying or anything just let me know, alright?”

“Sure, I will. Thank you.” Isak whispers once the professor starts the lesson. But given that all of his study sessions have been taking place in the middle of the night, he doubts he’ll be taking her up on that offer anytime soon.

“Alright well I’ll see you,” Sana says at the end of class, standing up, “and get some sleep before you walk into traffic.”

“Will do,” Isak chuckles, “see ya.”

“Isak” The professor calls as Isak makes his way towards the door.

“Yeah?” Isak asks side stepping the last student leaving.

“I’ve read the first draft of your paper” he says once Isak reaches the front of the classroom. “And I have to say I’m a little confused. You’re capable of much better work than what I’m seeing. If you have a few minutes to meet with me during my office hours today, we can go over it.”

*

Even<3

I have to meet with my adviser after class  
And then run to work. Can we talk tonight instead?

I have a night shoot  
How about tomorrow after class?

I have a group study session I can’t afford to back out of  
How many more nights are you filming at night?

Just tonight tomorrow if all goes well

So we’ll talk the day after tomorrow then?

Looks like it >:(

This kinda sucks

I know. I miss you

Two more weeks

Can’t wait.  
I love you.

I love you too.

*

“Hey baby, is everything alright?” Even asks the moment Isak accepts the video call.

As soon as Isak hears his voice and sees his face, he feels that it is and he wants nothing more than to say that it is to keep Even from worrying. But it’s not alright, it hasn’t been for a few weeks. He’s been letting things slide and he hasn’t been sharing the full extent of his frustration with anyone.

And isn’t that the whole point of having a boyfriend, someone who loves him? To be honest when things aren’t going alright? Even has done nothing but prove himself supportive in that department so far that he has no reason to expect anything less from him now.

“No, not really.” Isak admits and Even patiently waits for him to continue.

“I’m slipping in my classes and I keep screwing up at work. I can’t sleep half the time because I’m either studying or panicking about not studying. And when I do sleep, it’s only for a few hours at a time.”

He lets out a heavy sigh and has to admit he already feels just the slightest bit better having said the words aloud.

“Do you have anything that you need to do tonight that’s due tomorrow?” Even asks suddenly after a moment.

“No, there is stuff I need to get done but none of it for tomorrow.”

“Then sleep is your priority.”

“Yeah, I’ll make sure to get a few more hours tonight.” Isak says not sure how true those words are.

“Alright, get into bed.” Even finally says

“I’m already on my bed.” Isak says raising a brow.

“No, I mean get ready for bed and get into it. Come on I’ll keep you company.”

“Even, the problem isn’t that I’m feeling lonely brushing my teeth.”

“I know that,” Even laughs. “Just trust me, alright?”

“Oh come on, I’ll tell you all about how Mikael almost ruined an entire shoot this week. And all because of a cute extra.” Even continues when Isak still hasn’t moved from his spot.

“Ugh okay, fine. Watch me brush my teeth.” Isak says heading for the bathroom.

“I have in the past and it would put some Netflix shows to shame.” Even grins.

“Yeah considering some of the boring shit you watch, probably.” Isak says smugly.

“You did not just go there.” Even says putting a hand over his heart, holding his phone far enough for Isak to see.

“Sure did. Alright tell me more about Mikael.” Isak says putting toothpaste on his brush.

Moments later Isak is snorting laughter and nearly chokes on the foam in his mouth.

“Well that’s an attractive sight.” Even laughs.

“There’s more where that came from, baby.” Isak raises his eyebrows suggestively before rinsing his mouth out.

“I can tell why you’re friends. You’re both hopeless.” He says on his way back to his room.

“Hopeless romantics, you mean.”

“Hmm nah, I think just hopeless is right.” Isak laughs sticking his tongue out at the screen.

“Alright, strip and get into bed.” Even instructs.

“Oh I like where this is going.” Isak says dressing down to his boxers.

“Sorry babe, tonight it’s all about getting you to sleep.” Even sighs. “Alright now put me on the pillow next to you and close your eyes.”

“Are you going to talk to me to sleep?” Isak smiles.

“You bet I am.” He can hear the answering smile in Even’s voice.

“Hmm I love you”

“I love you too. Now let me share the rest of my day with you.”

*

Isak is in the middle of studying when he glances up at the pictures he pinned to the wall by his desk. Two of him and his mom surrounded by a whole bunch of pictures of his friends and some of Even and himself. He had put them up after Even left to remind himself even when he was at his busiest that he’s not alone.

It’s not that he wasn’t managing before, he was despite barely staying afloat. And now things aren’t necessarily easier. He’s still struggling with all the same responsibilities and even more, but despite all that, they are brighter.

Looking at the picture of him and Even sitting next to one another at Christmas with Even’s arm around him, he knows exactly when it all had changed. That morning Even had shown up for breakfast he didn’t stand a chance. When Isak felt his emptiest and bleakest, Even appeared and helped Isak through one of the darkest times in his life.

Yeah, Isak muses. Things are definitely brighter.

 

Even<3

Thinking of you

Thinking of you too <3

*

“Well you’re just a hot mess today, aren’t you?” Eskild asks when Isak drops his toast on the counter for the second time.

“Got a presentation this morning.” Isak grumbles while halfheartedly wiping off the butter off the surface.

“I thought you had no problems with presenting.” Eskild says grabbing a cup and pouring himself some coffee.

“Yeah, but I haven’t been doing so great in this class. So this mark really matters.” Isak picks at his toast before deciding he’s not hungry after all.

“Well did you prepare?” Eskild asks.

“Yeah, but maybe I should have done more,” he trails off.

 

“Well there’s nothing you can do about that now. But what you can do is relax and trust that you know all that you need to know.” Eskild shrugs taking a sip.

“Also have some breakfast. Most important meal and all that other stuff that people say. And anyways, you’ve just got one more week left before you get to see your loverboy. So you can stop being a ball of stress and tension.”

“I haven’t been that bad.” Isak defends.

“Hmm you’ve been pretty high up there though.”

“I’m still nowhere near as bad as you are when you’re in love.”

“Speaking of,” Eskild says looking nervous, “I’m actually going to be going on a trip of my own this Easter.”

“Oh yeah? Where to? And what do you mean ‘speaking of’? Did you meet someone, are you taking a trip with him?” Isak asks curiosity piqued.

“Well to Stockholm and yeah but I’m taking a trip to meet him. He lives there.”

“So is this a first meeting? Or…”

“Nope, first meeting. I mean we’ve skyped a few times and everything. Been messaging almost everyday too.”

“Huh. How did you know him then?”

“Met online.” Eskild grimaces.

“Well there’s nothing wrong with that,” Isak says.

“No, I know. Just I haven’t really dated anyone I’ve met online before.”

“That’s fair,” Isak nods. “Do you know what’s going to happen if you do hit it off?” He asks tentatively.

Eskild lets out a small laugh, “how about I meet him first and see how that goes before planning my whole future.”

“No, yeah, of course.” Isak says hesitantly. “It’s just that I like having you around, you know.”

At that Eskild pauses and smiles at Isak “I like having you around too. Don’t worry I won’t take any decision too lightly. And anyways you’re like my little gay prodigy. I could never leave you behind.”

“Okay well that started out sweet before it took a turn for the worse.” Isak says grabbing his backpack and heading for the door.

*

Even<3

Baby, three more days!!

Eva is literally about to bury me for keeping a countdown  
Apparently you and I are that couple

Well she better wait until after Easter  
And we are that couple  
Own it

True. Also if it’s going to be my last ever weekend  
You better make it the best weekend of my life

Well we’ll have a cabin of our own  
So yeah, I’m definitely planning on making it  
Worth your while

I can get behind all of that.

*

Isak is certain the train is going slower than its usual speed of 210 km/h. He’s also certain that time has pretty much come to a standstill, because only ten minutes have passed since the last time he checked his phone.

He already tried to get some studying done but his mind can’t focus long enough to finish a single paragraph. And since Even is still filming for the next two hours, he can’t exactly help keep Isak distracted either.

It’s also too late to bother any of his friends since he decided to take the 21.00 train which had left two hours ago. Well everyone except Eskild that is. But he was about to become unreachable for the rest of the weekend.

Eskild

Not an axe murderer and looks even hotter in person

Go get him

So Isak settles on simply looking out the window and watch the night pass by, taking in the sounds of the train, the music that’s a little too loud coming from the headphones of the girl across the aisle. The elderly woman turning the pages of her book and the father whispering to his sleeping son. Until he finally gets lost in it all and dozes off.

When the train pulls up at the station, Isak is ready to bolt for the exit. Because just on the other side of those metal doors is Even waiting for him. He barely has enough discipline to grab his bag and check his seat to make sure he hasn’t left anything behind before making his way to where Even is standing. And as soon as he does, he’s met with a tight and tender embrace which he is only too happy to return.

“Fuck, Isak, I missed you.” Even breathes into his ear.

“I’ve missed you too” Isak whispers inhaling deeply.

“Come on,” Even says when they finally do pull apart.

“Did you have a long day?” Isak asks as Even grabs the bag out of his hand and throws it over his shoulder.

“I had a late start so not as long as you.” Even says kissing Isak’s forehead, pulling him along to the street where he parked the car.

The roads are empty at this late hour with the exception of a few cars until they turn off the main road and they’re the only ones on a long stretch of road. Isak just sits back, his left hand clasped in Even’s right as he watches him, simply taking him in.

“What?” Even smiles when he looks over for a moment before turning back to face the road.

“Just trying to make up for missed time.”

“By staring at me?”

“Mhm”

“I’m so happy you get to be here.” Even says raising their hands to his lips and kissing the part where their fingers rest intertwined, rubbing his thumb along Isak’s wrist.

“Me too” Isak smiles sleepily.

“Just a little bit more and we’ll be there.” Even says softly.

When Isak opens his eyes again it’s to Even leaning over to his side, stroking the side of his face.

“Baby, wake up. We’re here.” He says and Isak unbuckles his seatbelt and follows Even’s lead getting out of the car.

He takes in his surroundings and the private little cabin in front of them as Even opens the door to reveal a cozy little living area. One that only has enough room for only a couch and a sofa chair along with a small TV and a dining table and four chairs by the kitchen area to his left. To the right he spots the bedroom and washroom through the open door.

“It looks great.” Isak says grinning. Anything would have been enough so long as he gets to share it with Even. He’d have been happy with a tent. But this is theirs for the time being. This is perfect.

“And we can enjoy it tomorrow.” Even says closing the front door behind them. “For tonight lets get you to bed.”

After quickly brushing their teeth and stripping down, they climb into bed. Even holding the blanket up for Isak to crawl under. And he’s not sure if it’s the softest set of sheets he’s ever felt or if it’s just exhaustion taking over. But what is certain as he curls around Even’s bare chest is that he is exactly where he belongs and he falls into the most peaceful sleep he has in weeks.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Don't worry! There's more Easter weekend coming up. I just had to split it up into two chapters. <3


	35. Chapter 35

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I know I said I was going to be done this story last weekend but I just couldn't focus on this chapter. However since it's a long weekend and I will have some time on my hands, I will finish this story up for this weekend.
> 
> Again as always thank you so much for reading.

Isak wakes up to an empty bed and the smell of breakfast wafting through the open bedroom door. He doesn’t remember the last time he’s woken up this well rested. Well, actually no, he remembers exactly. It was the last time he opened up his eyes next to Even, the only part missing from his morning at the moment. 

Throwing back the covers, he follows the sound of pop music straight to Even and wraps his arms around him from behind, placing a kiss at the back of his neck where he rests his head.

“Morning” comes the pleased sound of Even’s voice from above him.

“Morning” he responds muffled into his back before Even turns in his arms.

“Sleep well?”

“Yeah, except someone wasn’t there when I woke up.”

“Sorry, I wanted to surprise you.”

“With your music taste?” Isak raises a teasing brow.

“Well I couldn’t very well reveal that part of me before I knew you were a sure thing.”

“Oh, so this isn’t a phase or anything, it’s actually a thing?”

“Sorry baby, it’s here to stay.”

Isak lets out an exaggerated sigh before grinning and turning the music up slightly, nodding along with the beat.

“I love you, you know that?” Even asks catching his face in both of his hands.

“Yeah, but I’ll never tire of hearing it.”

“Good, because I’ll never tire of saying it.”

“Christ,” Isak lets out as they both dissolve into laughter “we really are outrageous.”

“Yeah, but we’re damn cute doing it,” Even smiles.

“True” Isak says leaning in for a kiss and Even happily responds in kind.

“Breakfast is getting cold.” Even mumbles against him.

“That’s fine, we’re doing more important things here.” Isak says chasing his lips.

“As much...as I...would like….to do...nothing more…” Even manages between each kiss until he finally pulls back “I’ve gotten you all caught up on your sleep, and now it’s time to make sure you’re fed.”

“Aww, are you looking after me?” Isak draws out, the sentiment making his heart melt.

“Of course, I worry about you.” Even answers honestly, brushing Isak’s loose locks behind his ear.

“Well thank you for worrying.” Isak says taking his hand and pressing his lips to the inside of his wrist. 

“I worry about you too, you know.” Isak adds pouring two cups of coffee. 

“You’ve been so busy with work and I feel like we’ve been focusing on me all this time.” It wasn’t intentional from Isak’s side, but with Even he wanted to open up about everything he was feeling. Keep no secrets. Mainly because he didn’t have to.

“I’m doing alright,” Even reassures, placing Isak’s plate in front of him and taking a seat across the table.

“Just the same things I told you about. We had some issues with the weather not cooperating for a few scenes which put us behind a couple of weeks. It also means that our editing schedule will have to be compressed because Mikael has another project starting in two months. And the night shoots have been tough on me.” Even admits, “but then at the end of the day I get to look forward to talking to you and all of that just melts away. It becomes manageable, because I know I’m not doing it alone.”

They had been fine going through life on their own, but they didn’t have to anymore. And Isak has to admit, things are just that much easier and better having someone 

He grins, grasping Isak’s hand in his across the table. “Although it doesn’t compare to how much better I feel now that you’re actually here.”

“Me too.” Isak smiles. “So, what’s the plan for the day? I’m at your complete disposal.”

“I’ll keep that in mind.” Even smirks “but I was thinking of taking it easy. Maybe go into town later and have a movie night in? I’ll even let you choose.”

“Well now you’re just straight up spoiling me.”

“That was the plan all along.”

*

It never fails to amaze Isak that they had been together for over three months now, despite having spent less than three weeks together in person. But the moment they picked up the phone it was like no time passed at all. They would take off right where they left off. So it shouldn’t surprise Isak that being with Even in person is no different. Every minute together is filled with love and affection, the silences are comforting, and the peace Isak feels being around him never ending.

“What are you thinking about?” Even asks lying under Isak on the couch. National Treasure playing in the background. Isak had picked it mainly as a joke to see if Even would let him, but now he wishes he’d have let Even pick something calmer and more romantic to play in the background. Not that the romance in the movie wasn’t solid.

“You.” Isak answers over a yawn. They ended up spending half the day walking around town, with Even showing him all his favorite spots. And unsurprisingly almost every shopkeeper knew Even and stopped to have a chat with them. If there was one thing Even couldn’t hide, it was his love for small towns.

“And it’s putting you to sleep?” He teases.

“No, but I think the movie is.”

“Want me to turn it off?”

“Yeah. It’s just not doing it for me today. And anyways I’ve got a better idea.” Isak says getting up, pulling Even along with him.

“Oh I like where this is going.” 

“I mean it probably is, but not just yet.” Isak says guiding him to take a seat on the edge of the bed before rummaging through his back and pulling out a box.

“What’s this?” Even asks looking at it curiously when Isak holds it out for him.

“A belated birthday present since I wasn’t here.” Isak says sitting down next to him cross legged.

Gingerly Even unwraps it before bursting into surprised laughter.

“A teddy bear?” He asks holding the small stuffed toy in his hands.

“Well you said you never received a stuffed toys since you were a child. I couldn’t have that and since I don’t get to be around as much...plus apparently that’s a romantic thing to do.” Isak tries to shrug off, but Even won’t let him play it down.

“Don’t even try to pretend like it’s nothing. You stood there thinking about me, choosing this one, didn’t you? You realize I’m going to have to sleep with it every night you’re not there, right?” Even chuckles holding it close.

Isak rolls his eyes in response, unable to help the smile growing on his face. 

“I love it.” Even smiles “that was a really cute thing of you to do. Thank you.”

*

Isak would be lying if he said he wasn’t nervous about meeting Even’s best friend. But he figures he is good at hiding it. Or he was until Even walks into the bedroom to find him still staring at the same two shirts in the exact same position Even had left him in fifteen minutes ago.

“Isak, he’s going to love you.” Even smiles reassuringly.

Isak nods, not saying anything, too focused on the choice in front of him until he finally decides to just go with the button up.

“You look perfect.” Even says once he’s dressed, smoothing out his collar and pulling him into the living room area of the cabin.

But there’s no more time for Isak to worry or for Even to reassure him, as their attention is drawn to the knock coming from the door.

While Isak remains standing where Even left him, Even goes to open the door to let his friend in.

Their greeting out of the way, Mikael steps into the cabin, eyes landing on Isak. Without Even introducing them, Isak is instantly pulled into a hug.

“Isak, man I’ve heard so much about you.” Mikael says “I can’t believe I haven’t met you until now.”

Isak returns the hug, the openness reminding him of Eskild, and he immediately relaxes.

Despite Isak’s earlier worries, the conversation between the three of them flows naturally as the meal goes on. With both Even and Mikael making an effort to include Isak in every story. Mikael also doesn’t run out of questions for Isak. Asking about his past, his friends, his present and future plans, and even his intentions towards Even.

“Mikael” Even shoots him a not so subtle look in response to the last question.

When Mikael and Even start talking about movies, Mikael starts making a list of movies for Isak to watch when it quickly becomes clear that he hasn’t seen the majority of Even’s favorites. Not that he hasn’t been making an effort these past few months whenever he could find a free hour here and there.

“Honestly, watch them in this order and you’ll understand every obscure movie reference Even will ever throw your way.” Mikael says, more than happy to help.

“I don’t make obscure references,” Even says amused. “That’s your department.”

“Do you mind? I’m trying to make a new friend here.” Mikael shoots back.

“Alright, alright” Even throws his hands up “who am I to get in the way of a budding friendship.”

“Thank you.” Mikael rolls his eyes.

Amused, Isak can’t help but view their friendship as a combination of his with Jonas and Eskild. And it warms his heart to know that even during their time apart, Even has someone who cares for him as much as his own.

*

“Do you know what you’re going to be doing after you’re done with this film yet?” Isak asks stepping out of the cafe where they had picked up coffees pastries to enjoy back at the cabin for breakfast.

“I’ve been thinking about that a lot actually.” Even says looking Isak over.

Isak waits for him to continue, feeling nervous himself. They had been so focused on just making it through the months of long distance, that they never actually sat down to talk about the future. A future together to be specific.

“I was going to focus on writing a bit, working on a script.” 

Isak nods, “and do you know where you’re planning to do that? Which city?” Near him? He doesn’t add. But he doesn’t have to.

“That’s the beauty of it,” Even smiles “it can be wherever we decide it will be.” We. Isak’s heart leaps a the word.

“I have been applying for residencies.” Isak says over the wild beating of his heart. “And I want to keep the house. To live in it actually.” 

“Being neighbours again,” Even muses before nodding in agreement. “It would be nice to see you on a daily basis again.”

“Actually I was thinking of being a bit closer than that.” Isak says nervously. “Like sharing a bedroom close.”

Even’s eyebrows rise in pleasant surprise “are you asking me to move in with you?”

“Yeah, if you’re ready for that step?” Isak asks hopeful.

“Baby,” Even grins widely “I would love nothing more than to wake up next to you every morning.” 

“I could definitely live with that.” Isak smiles brightly taking Even’s hand into his as they make their way back to their little cabin.


	36. Chapter 36

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> This is a bit later than planned because I kept getting distracted by the next chapter which is about half way done right now!  
> Also this chapter is slightly shorter because I didn't have much to add for the month of April. But the next chapter will make up for that. Mainly because I have a new scene popping into my mind ever fifteen minutes (Even if it adds literally zero to the plot, but that's been half this story so why stop now.) 
> 
> My plan is to finish chapter 37 off late tonight so that I can post it for tomorrow. I can't believe I'm about to say good bye to these versions, my heart is breaking!
> 
> As always thank you for all the love you have shown this fic. Your responses have really kept me going for this story <3

April

“I’m telling you, that’s not the answer.” Sana lets out exasperated. They had been working on the same question for the past twenty minutes.

“I don’t even know enough to argue you on that right now. This whole page is blurring into one giant blob.” Isak sighs running his hands over his face.

“Alright it’s time to call it.” Sana says closing up her book

They had been in the library for six hours now Isak realizes when he checks his phone. The dark windows confirming the late hour.

“You need to go home, talk to Even, and get some sleep.” She instructs, packing up her bag.

“Ugh I wish” he groans. Actually what he really wishes is that it was still Easter weekend and he was with Even in person. But he only had a couple of months left and then...then he can finally have the life he’d always dreamed of.

“Is he busy tonight?” Sana asks.

“Yeah, we spoke this morning though. And apparently I’m supposed to get caught up on sleep.”

“Sounds like a solid plan. You’ve been looking pretty run down lately.” Sana agrees.

“Thanks, Sana. And here you are looking as radiant as ever.” Isak rolls his eyes.

“I know.” She simply shrugs with a smile.

It’s not that time is necessarily flying by once Isak returns from his weekend with Even, but it’s not exactly standing still either. Between his finals, which are just around the corner, and packing up his few belongings, Isak is simply too busy to dwell on anything else. He doesn’t stop missing Even, but simply has less time to think about it.

He’s still filling his time with as many hours as he can manage around his studies and talking to Even whenever he can. But this time it feels different, because not only does he know that he has a future with Even waiting for him just around the corner, he’s also ready to finally start another chapter of his life. A chapter he wishes his mother was here to witness. He knows she’d be proud of him and excited about the life he is planning on building with Even, but for just a moment he’d give anything to see her face and for one of her hugs.

“You alright?” Sana asks.

“Yeah sorry,” Isak shakes his head, trying to clear it “just wish my mom could be here to see all of these great things finally happening in my life.”

Sana nods sympathetically, “I’m sure she’d be proud.”

“Yeah,” Isak smiles in agreement, “she really would be.”

“So are you all ready for the engagement party next weekend?” He asks changing topics.

“Mom’s been helping and Yousef’s parents are already here so they’ve been lending a hand. But even with their help, I would have been ripping my hair out by now if it wasn’t for Yousef.”

Isak shakes his head, “I still think you’re crazy for planning all this during finals.”

“Yeah it was the best timing for everyone else, but now I’m thinking we should have pushed for a later date. But oh well it’s happening now and I wouldn’t have it any other way.” Sana grins.

“And you’re sure it’s okay if I bring Even, right?” Isak asks, grimacing when he realizes he had forgotten to mention the dinner to Even in the first place. He had meant to during their weekend together, but they both had been preoccupied by other things.

“Of course Even’s going to be there.” Sana says giving him a strange look.

Isak pauses at her wording “because he’s welcome to be there?” He asks confused.

“Because he’s one of Yousef’s best friends? Wow don’t tell me you didn’t know.” Sana looks at him incredulously. “What do the two of you even talk about?”

“I mean I knew he had a friend named Yousef who just got engaged...I just didn’t make the connection between his Yousef and yours...I mean it isn’t that uncommon of a name.” Isak defends.

Sana shakes her head laughing “well at least Even’s been paying attention. I spoke to him just last week and he said you guys could make it.”

“Wait are you telling me Even knows?” And didn’t mention yet another connection they have?

“Yes, Isak.”

“Hmm, okay” he nods, not really following. But maybe it’s just too late for his brain to follow a revelation this big.

“I’ve known him since our first year at Nissen, he even asked me about you when he realized you and I knew each other,” Sana explains through her amusement. “Come on, let’s get you home and to bed before your head explodes. We can save the explanations for another time.”

Even<3

I can’t believe you knew Sana and didn’t tell me

I thought you knew??  
Didn’t you think it was a little strange  
That we both had friends who got engaged  
At the same time and are getting married on  
The same day?

Well when you put it like that,  
Then apparently I am an idiot

You’re not baby ;)  
You’ve just got a lot going on

But now that you bring it up  
Isn’t it awesome how we have another  
Connection tying us together?

Yeah it is pretty sweet  
Like no matter what,  
We were bound to meet one way or another

Just the universe making sure we were meant to happen  
No matter what ;)

You’re really liking the multiple universe theory  
Aren’t you?

If it means there’s countless ways we are destined to meet  
Then I fully support it.

*

“I can’t believe this moment is actually happening.” Eskild mopes dropping down right on top of the clothes Isak was about to pack up.

“Well it’s not like I was going to live here for the rest of my life.” Isak says tugging at a sweater trapped underneath Eskild.

“Yeah, only until I turned fifty or something.” He responds dramatically.

“Fifty? Really?” Isak shoots him a look when he finally pulls the sweater free.

“Well or somewhere around that ballpark.” Eskild shrugs.

“You want me to get married and have kids while still living with the same roommates I’ve lived with since I was sixteen?” Isak asks incredulously.

“Woah wait, marriage? Kids? I didn’t know you were thinking about that already.”

“Well I mean I’m not thinking about it right now, not really anyways, but it’s always been in the back of my mind.” Isak shrugs self consciously.

“And I’m going to miss out on all of that.” Eskild lets out with a sigh.

“You’re being dramatic,” Isak rolls his eyes, “let’s face it, you’ll be coming out to visit every other weekend. It’s not like we won’t see each other again.”

“You’ll seriously let me come out that often?” Eskild perks up.

“Well,” Isak backtracks slightly, “maybe not every other weekend but yeah you’re family, you’ll always be welcome at my place.”

“Aww!” Eskild calls out jumping up to give Isak a crushingly tight hug “look at you, I’m so proud of you.”

“You’re proud of me for inviting you over?” Isak asks trying to turn in a way that will let him inhale air into his lungs.

“No, for everything.” Eskild says letting him go, “you’re finally moving on with your life and making all of these big changes. And I really think it’s all going to pay off for you. You deserve to have so much love in your life.”

“Thanks, Eskild.” Isak blushes.

Inger

Good luck on your finals, Isak.  
Can’t wait to see you again and  
Have you living next door to us.  
Daniel and I are so proud of you  
And your mom would be too.  
You and Even are so lucky to have  
Found each other after all these years.  
Thank you for making our son so happy.


	37. Chapter 37

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Wow thank you so much to everyone for reading and bringing this fic to 600 kudos, I still have no idea how that happened! I have loved all of your comments and every time you guys left kudos. So thanks again for sticking with it with me. 
> 
> I hope you enjoy <3

“No I won’t say goodbye, it hurts too much.” Eskild whines and Isak knows he’s laying it on thick for his benefit. Because right now Isak is on the verge of being the emotional one.

With his finals over and behind him, there’s nothing keeping him here any longer. Well, except for Eskild, who is physically restraining him in something he claims is a hug.

“Eskild, you can’t keep him here forever.” Linn says next to them.

“I can try.” Eskild mopes, not letting go.

“Alright well some of us actually have places to be, so let me say goodbye and then the two of you can stay out here all day long.” Linn says peeling Eskild off of Isak.

“You come see us loads, alright?” She says hugging him briefly but just tight enough.

“I will, and you’re always welcome to come visit.” Isak tries to swallow the lump of emotion forming in his throat. “Also go easy on Eskild, alright? He’s fragile.” He half jokes.

“Don’t worry, I’ll make sure he’s looked after,” she smiles reassuringly. Knowing that Isak’s concern is genuine. “Okay I do have to get going but drive safe and text us once you arrive.” She gives him one final hug before heading back inside.

“I’ll really miss you,” Isak says catching Eskild off guard with a tight embrace.

When it’s only the two of them, he can’t hold back anymore from the one person that knows him better than most.

“It’s been fun having you around, even if you were a miserable ass sometimes.” Eskild chokes out.

“Thank you for putting up with that.” Isak smiles sadly. But that’s not enough. Eskild deserves more from him.

“And thank you for giving me a place to stay, for showing me that there was nothing wrong with me and helping me find my place in the world.” Isak takes a shaky breath before continuing, “you were the parent when I didn’t have one and the best friend when I couldn’t confide in mine. And you’re still both in many ways.”

“Jesus, Isak, you really want to see me bawl my eyes out, don’t you?” Eskild accuses dabbing the corners of his eyes with his sweater sleeve.

“I promise I’m not.” Isak says in no better shape.

“Well I do want you to know how proud of you I am. I know I’ve said it before, but I really am proud. Especially of how strong you’ve been all these years, never giving up. You deserve all the happiness coming your way right now.” Eskild smiles through the tears forming on his bottom lashes.

“Thank you, Eskild. I’ll miss not having you around every day.” Isak says putting a hand on his shoulder.

“Well I would hope so, I mean we’ve established I’m a huge part in your life.” Eskild sniffs.

“Yeah well I bet it won’t be nearly as much as you’ll miss me. You’d have been lost without me in your life all these years.” Isak puts up a front as they slowly return to their usual back and forth.

Eskild crosses his arms, “pah, I finally won’t have to deal with dirty dishes in the sink each morning.”

“Don’t lie, those dishes gave you a purpose in life. Leaving me passive aggressive notes is what gets you out of bed.”

“No, what gets me out of bed was listening to your alarm go off every fifteen minutes while you sleep through it.”

“You’re up by then anyways.”

“Trying to meditate in the living room, to give me the patience to deal with you.”

“Well you obviously weren’t doing a very good job.”

“Obviously.” Eskild smiles.

They stand there for a few more minutes, neither just quite ready to end their interaction. Isak knows they can’t draw it out indefinitely, but Eskild is the one to break the silence first.

“You should probably head out if you’re going to make it there before sunset.”

Isak nods pulling the car keys out of his pocket, taking a step closer to the packed car.

“Drive safe and don’t forget about us.” Eskild says finally.

“Never.” Isak smiles getting into his car.

Even<3

Just about to leave

Only now? Did everything go alright?

Yeah, it took longer than I thought to say goodbye  
Fuck I’ll actually miss them so much

I’m sorry baby

Don’t be  
It doesn’t mean I’m any less excited to  
finally start our lives together

Me too, I can’t wait to move in with you  
I need to go back to editing  
But text me once you arrive?

Will do <3

<3

The drive to the house, his house, flies by despite the length. Mainly because Isak can’t stop envisioning his life, his future, there. It is the complete opposite of the last time he made the drive out. Last time he had dreaded going to the place he was sure would leave him at his most miserable, but now Isak knows that it’s exactly where he belongs and where he will have the opportunity to make some of his happiest moments.

This time when Isak pulls up to the house, he’s not rooted to the ground. No, he feels more free than he ever has in his life. And this time he can’t wait to step foot inside again, to see the place just as he had left it in the winter. Taking the duffel bag from the passenger seat and leaving the rest of his belongings for later, he walks up to the front door in a few quick strides and unlocks it.

The house is empty, but not barren. Because it holds memories, some bittersweet, but most of them happy. Including the most recent ones he had made with Even here.

He only puts his bag down when he hears a knock on the door.

“Inger,” he beams when he opens the door.

“Isak!” She smiles warmly at him, stepping inside to embrace him.

“Have you grown some?” She squints looking over him when she steps back. “I remember you being tall, but not you towering over me so.”

“I don’t believe I have,” he entertains her.

“If you say so,” she looks at him skeptically before shaking her head.

“Since Even isn’t here yet to take care of you, I brought you a couple of things.” She says holding out a basket.

“Thanks,” Isak accepts amused, “that should tide me over until Even gets here.” He jokes.

“Do you want to come in for a bit?”

“Oh no,” she waves off. I just wanted to make sure everything was alright.”

“I think they might be better than just alright.” He smiles.

“I’m so glad to hear, honey. Well I should get going and let you settle in. Why don’t you stop by for dinner tomorrow and then you can tell me all about that new residency of yours.” Inger says making her way back towards the door.

“Of course, I would love nothing more.” Isak agrees eagerly. Happy to have her back in his everyday life.

*

“How are you settling in?” Even asks when he facetimes Isak for their now nightly calls. Having finished filming, Even is finally back to keeping his regular schedule.

“Alright,” Isak says, “I just have a couple of things left to clean out. Once you get here we’ll have to go shopping for bedroom furniture. But other than that, everything has been quite smooth.”

“Are you saying we’ll get to choose the furniture together?” Even asks.

“Isn’t that what going shopping together means?” Isak gives him a confused look.

“Just wanted to make sure,” Even grins “I promise you it’ll be all kinds of romantic.”

“Only you would find furniture shopping romantic.” Isak rolls his eyes.

“Hey there are couples that will go to IKEA for date night, so it’s an actual thing.”

“Even, we’re not going to be one of those couples.”

“Fine,” Even sighs, “we’ll just have to find our own thing then.” He grins back at Isak and Isak is sure that whatever Even will come up, it will be just as equally ridiculous and cheesy, if not more so.

“But you’re happy right now?” He checks.

“I am,” Isak nods, “it’s been nice not having to go in to work or studying for countless hours for once. Though the only thing that’s keeping everything from being perfect is you not being here.” Isak admits.

“A few more days baby, think you can hold out for that long?”

“In exchange for forever? I think I can.” Isak winks to which Even slaps his free hand over his heart, head snapping back dramatically.

“My heart, I don’t think it can handle you like this without exploding.”

“Like what?” Isak laughs.

“In love.” Even smiles shyly.

“Well then you better get used to it quick, because it’s not going anywhere.”

*

Isak is in the middle of cleaning out the master bedroom to make room for him and Even, placing the remaining belongings that he wants to hold onto, into boxes and bags. And this time he’s strong enough to do it on his own. It doesn’t mean that it hurts any less, but he’s able to tolerate it. Because he’s not erasing his mother, she still lives on in every part of the house, the pictures strewn throughout the place, even how the furniture is arranged.

Instead of relieving pain with each item he picks up, he remembers her fondly. Which is probably why it takes him so much longer.

Even<3

I’m about 2 hours out

I’ll be waiting for you

Isak looks out the window once the bedroom has been cleaned out with the exception of the bed, which they can take care of together once Even arrived. His old bed will do just fine in the meantime.

With some time left before Even’s arrival, he sets out for the lake. The same one he had frequently visited during his childhood and again at his mother’s funeral and during his last visit. He notes how much more forgiving the spring weather is this time around. All evidence of snow long gone.

Isak continues to walk aimlessly until he ends up at the exact same bench he had sat on the last two times. Both instances heartache followed him. But now as he walks to take a seat in the same spot he’s relieved to find none of the old feelings there. Or if they are, they are significantly muted. Not because he’s pushing them down. No, this is what healing feels like.

He glances out at the lake to which the ducks had already returned to as they did every year, ready for the warm weather that will follow. Each time he had been here, he was looking for the same thing, a home. Somewhere he belonged, where he could settle. He’d been searching for it for a long time now. And sitting here, Isak can picture himself and Even coming out on the weekends on their own at first. Then maybe with children one day. Yes, he can definitely picture that.

Isak remains there for a while longer, not imagining the lives of other people anymore, but only his own. FInally when the sun starts to set, he glances at his phone and takes notice of the time. Even should be there shortly if he isn’t already, so he gets up and starts making his way back at a brisk pace.

This time when he returns to the house, it’s Even sitting on the front porch waiting for him, smiling as he watches Isak approach.

“Welcome home,” Even beams at him when he comes to a stop in front of him, arms opening to wrap around him. And right then, Isak knows that he finally is.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Just finalizing the words for an epilogue now. Should hopefully have that up within the hour.


	38. Epilogue

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> So I had to sneak in another chapter. But I wanted to add this chapter in especially as a thank you to everyone who has stuck with this story and to thank you all again for your wonderful comments and leaving kudos. Even when I felt like I had nothing left in me, you guys inspired me to keep at it, so thank you for that <3
> 
> Here’s a couple of small glimpses into Isak and Even’s life together!

“Baby wake up.” A soft voice calls to him through the sleepy fog. It’s a voice Isak recognizes well. The same one he had been waking up next to for the past few months.

“You don’t want to be late to your first day of work.” Even’s voice now accompanied by a hand gently running through Isak’s hair. Waking him up ever so gently. Just like every time Even woke him up. 

“What time is it?” Isak mumbles trying to get closer to the body attached to the hand.

“06.40” Even responds lying down next to Isak and pulling him close.

“I still have plenty of time.” Isak pouts back.

“I know, but I thought we could have some time to ourselves before you head to the hospital.” Even says kissing his forehead.

At that, Isak perks right up, “oh yeah? What exactly did you have in mind?” Already enjoying Even’s attention first thing this morning.

“I was thinking about having breakfast together.”

 

“Anything else?” Isak asks hopeful and moves his head when Even is about to place a kiss on his cheek so he catches the corner of his mouth instead.

“I guess if I think really really hard, I can think of something.” Even teases, continuing his onslaught of kisses upon Isak. 

“I think we should give that something a try.” Isak says trying to catch Even’s lips.

Throwing the covers back off of Isak, Even nods, “I think we should too.”

*

“This is hopeless,” Isak groans somehow covered fully in flour despite the apron he had put on earlier.

“No it’s not. Come on, let’s just give it another go.” Even tries. It happens to be his third attempt at trying to get Isak to bake something with him, but each time so far had ended in disaster and Isak swearing to never touch the oven or a mixing bowl again.

But much to Isak’s dismay, Even seemed determined to continue to try to teach him despite incidents including a burnt block of what was supposed to be banana bread, pizza dough that somehow came out the consistency and taste of glue, and a batch of cookies that would not soften no matter how much milk or tea you dipped them into.

“Maybe I just wasn’t destined to bake?” Isak tries.

“Just one more try, please? I’m sure there is the perfect recipe out there for you, we just have to find it. This time I promise I won’t leave your side, we’ll do every step together,” Even reassures him placing his hand on Isak’s lower back

“Fine,” Isak finally sighs “but just one more try.”

“I promise that’s all it will take.” Even pecks him on the lip and Isak forgets his previous protests, ready to give anything a chance for him.

*

“The whole point of this, is that we’re celebrating you.” Isak says when he takes the wooden spoon out of Even’s hand. “Which means I am doing all of this for you.” He nods towards the pasta and vegetables cooking on the stove.

“You’re not supposed to be helping, you should be relaxing.” He continues.

“But cooking with you is relaxing.” Even tries to protest.

“Well and now I’m cooking for you and you get to sit.” Isak nods over to vacant chair that Even should be occupying.

After all of his hard work, Even had finally been nominated for his latest film and Isak was determined to make the night as special for him as possible. He had even made the effort to set the table and light a couple of candles. The least he could really do considering how much Even looks after him on a daily basis.

“Okay, how about I back off, but I get to stand here next to you.” Even proposes instead.

“Fine,” Isak relents, “but no interfering.” He points the wooden spoon in Even’s direction while the other innocently puts his hands in the air in response. 

“You know,” Even muses, “You look pretty hot taking charge in the kitchen.”

Isak turns down the burners and turns to Even. “Oh yeah? Is it turning you on right now?”

 

“Well you always are, but right now especially, yeah.” Even grins in response.

“Then maybe I should cook for you more often.” Isak smiles. And in that moment he decides that he should do more for Even, to show him just how much he matters every day.

*

“Baby, no” Isak moans, pinned against the wall by Even, “we can’t be late for dinner.”

“They’re right next door, they won’t mind waiting for a few minutes.” 

“Baby, we’ve been living together for a year and a half and we’re engaged. I’m pretty sure it’s no secret that we’re having sex.” Even wiggles his eyebrows

“You’re holding up Christmas dinner, Even.” Isak groans in response to his own tightening pants.

“I still don’t see the problem” Even grins playing with the hem of Isak’s shirt.

“Ugh fine, you get twenty minutes and you’re going to explain to your parents why we’re late.” Isak gives in much to his own relief. He doesn’t think he could sit through dinner with his about to be in-laws trying to hide a boner. Especially considering the tight dress pants Even chose for tonight.

“That’s all I need.” Even promises already unbuttoning Isak’s pants.

*

Isak has been pulling extra shifts at the hospital for the past two weeks. Which means he barely got to see his husband except to kiss him good morning and good night during that time. So when he finally has a few days off coming up without having to be on call, he starts formulating a plan to whisk Even away to a cabin in the middle of nowhere for some much needed one-on-one time.

“What are you doing this weekend?” Isak asks when he steps into Even’s study.

“Hey baby,” Even brightens, “I was just going to get some writing done.”

Isak considers leaving him to it, not wanting to interfere with his work. But Isak knows Even well enough to know he had also been dying for some time away.

“How about you and I go away for a couple of days?” He asks.

“You know I’d never say no to spending time with you.” Even answers.

And just like that, a couple of days later they’re at the same cabin they had shared when Isak was visiting Even on set. 

“Remember the last time we were here?” Even asks that night while they’re curled up on the couch.

“Yeah, I met Mikael and asked you to move in with me.” Isak fondly recalls.

“That seems like almost a lifetime ago,” Even muses.

“It’s only been a couple of years.” Isak says looking at the love of his life.

Even nods in return and continues “we made a pretty big decision here and it turned out to be one of the best decisions we made.”

Isak hums in agreement and Even continues.

“I think I’m ready for another big decision.” He says gazing into Isak’s eyes and even after all this time it doesn’t fail to take his breath away.

“What do you think we should decide on next?” Isak asks heartbeat speeding up just the slightest. 

Even smiles at him lovingly “I think we may be ready to have kids.”

If anyone would have told Isak before that moment that he would fall in love with Even even further than he was, he wouldn’t have believed them, because he was sure his heart was at capacity 

And yet here he is, feeling as if his heart just grew two sizes to accommodate his ever growing love. 

He brings Even forward and shares a painfully tender kiss before pulling back. His hand never leaving Even’s cheek while his thumb continues to graze over his cheekbone.

“I would love nothing more, Even.” He responds and goes in for as many more kisses as Even is willing to offer.


End file.
